Support for formula feeding moms...

gracie__r · June 2012

I know breastfeeding is a touchy subject, so let's try not to turn this into a debate, okay? I really just need someone to pat me on the back and tell me it is okay. Sad This may seem like it is too early to post something like this, but it came up this weekend as I was trying to figure out what I'd need for LO. Well you all know how expensive pumps are, and I feel like I need to make an executive decision on this (buy one or not) and be done with it.

Both the girls were breastfed, for probably 7 or 8 months, before we switched them to formula. I plan to BF LO, but I want to stop when I go back to work. The thought of pumping again just makes we want to lie down and cry. It is SO.MUCH.WORK. Ugh, I already feel guilty though. I am afraid that anything that ever might be "wrong" with this LO I'll blame on the fact that I didn't breastfeed as long as I could.

So is there support anywhere for people who just don't want to breastfeed? I think the reason I feel the most guilty is that I would be stopping BFing purely for selfish reasons. And FWIW, I'd never look down on anyone else who decided not to breastfeed, so why can't I get over my own guilt?

NuggetJo · June 2012

You have to do what's best for you and your family. I am going to be FF from day one and do feel that most people just assume that I will be BF. When someone asks I just explain that although I am well aware of the BF vs FF pros and cons I have decided that for me FF is the way to go. A happy mom = a happy baby (at least I hope so!) You shouldn't feel guilty for any decision you make. I have not found any support groups but my OB is great and has given me a few tips.

dufferoo · June 2012

Ug, I hate that old nagging "mom guilt" that if you make one wrong decision, your child could be scarred for life. I'm definitely in favor of breastfeeding as long as you are home with the baby, but there's a point at which it becomes more trouble than it's worth, and I think for me that point would also be going back to work full-time and having to pump full-time. It would be selfish to not breastfeed at all just because you think it's icky. But if you're going back to work, you'll be formula-feeding so you can support your child financially and have energy leftover for him at the end of the day. Not selfish at all!!

gracie__r · June 2012

Thanks you guys, that already does help. And I didn't even think about the fact that I'd have to put in longer days because of the hour and half I'd spend pumping every day, which would in turn make the kids be in daycare/after school care even longer...

SpruceGrouse · June 2012

Don't feel guilty, the important thing is that you feed your baby and how you do that is no one else's buisness.

irer · June 2012

Scout2005:
Reasonable moms who BF don't care how you feed you kid as long as you do indeed feed them, and anyone else is just frankly not reasonable.

This. I breast fed my son until he was 2 and am "pro-breastfeeding", and I would never want to make you feel bad for how you choose to feed your child. Do not feel guilty (easier said than done, I know). Pumping is a huge PITA, especially with 3 kids and a job. Be kind to yourself and ignore anyone who gives you a hard time.

Reilly626 · June 2012

I am formula feeding and have warned my husband and family to tell any pushy nurses and doctors where to go if they say anything rude in the hospital.

gracie__r · June 2012

You guys are great. Thank you for the replies!

heathert1981 · June 2012

NuggetJo:
You have to do what's best for you and your family. I am going to be FF from day one and do feel that most people just assume that I will be BF. When someone asks I just explain that although I am well aware of the BF vs FF pros and cons I have decided that for me FF is the way to go. A happy mom = a happy baby (at least I hope so!) You shouldn't feel guilty for any decision you make. I have not found any support groups but my OB is great and has given me a few tips.

This exactly!!

mollyxcate · June 2012

My mom never tried to breastfeed either myself or my sister. We are both healthy, happy, intelligent people. And formula has come leaps and bounds since then. No guilt mama!

CLeigh03 · June 2012

Scout2005:

Happy mom = happy baby, and that is all that matters. And the person who told me that was the head LC at the hospital I delivered at.

This, exactly. I was miserable breastfeeding. When I changed to formula at a month I became a new mom. My son has never been on the chart for height, holds steady at 75th percentile for weight, has no known allergies...etc..It's what worked best for him and myself.

latnprincess · June 2012

I tried BF and DS never latched properly. I tried pumping and it didn't work out either, even after taking stuff to try and boost my supply. I gave up at 3 months when the most I could produce per day was 6 oz! I was torturing myself. So DS went on FF all the way (we were obviously already supplementing) and he's been fine! He is rarely sick and is an awesome smart kid! Don't feel guilt. You gotta do what works best for you.

Bemyselfandi · June 2012

I feel ya on the "never look down on someone who FF but can't get over my own guilt." I tried exclusively pumping for my first and failed. I felt so guilty I cried for half of a day when I made the decision to stop two weeks in. Formula feeding was SO much easier and formula fed babies are healthy, too. I hope you can talk with your doctor in making yourself feel better about FF. I understand...BF and pumping a baby wouldn't be as hard if you didn't have one or TWO kids to worry about besides the baby! I hope you find peace in your decision.

Manda-Kay · June 2012

I'm really glad you posted this. I can't BF due to medicine I take. I've known before TTC I couldn't. It was really hard at first to accept, but I know it's what's best for me and LO. Don't feel bad. I agree with the other posts -> happy mom = happy baby. I know plenty of people who FF and their kids are great!

pumpkinwife07 · June 2012

I will be FF from day one. I laugh in the face of anyone who says anything negative about FF. My DD was also FF from day one and is an incredible child. She's super healthy, smart, and has reached or exceeded every milestone along the way.

I don't think a person has to have a reason not to breastfeed. That really irks me. Everyone gets to choose what they think is best for their baby and that should be the end of it.

Please do not feel guilty and always feel confident in your decision. Good luck!

Peggy0228 · June 2012

I am a pro- feeder. As in " if you feed your child in the way that works best for your family you are an awesome mom.". The fact you are taking the time to think through your options just highlights this.

gracie__r · June 2012

Thank you again for the replies and support everyone!

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