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Attachment Parenting
avalovesart
member
Anyone "cheat" with formula? (long)
avalovesart
member
I'm new here, so maybe this discussion has already been had, don't know...
My DD is in the 97% for height and 90% for weight. She was in the NICU for her first week due to an infection from early rupture of membranes for me. When she was discharged, her nurse told me that because she is such a big baby that I might need to "cheat" with a bottle of formula before bedtime in order to feed her enough because she's such a big baby. At the time I was determined I would not need to "cheat," as her nurse put it. For the first week that DD was home, I did have to supplement because her stomach was more enlarged than usual for her age due to having to be FF while in the NICU (it was medically necessary.) However, I worked with an LC who helped me with a plan to increase my supply and slowly wean DD from needing the formula supplement. By age 3 weeks DD was EBF and has been ever since.
DD was STTN from 8pm to 6am from 10-14 weeks old. She's now 16 weeks and hasn't been STTN for the past two weeks. The first 5 days or so that she started waking up again, I or DH would just rock/comfort her back to sleep. But that took an hour to work. Then I read an article on Kellymom that led me to believe DD was waking up because she wasn't getting enough to eat during the day and therefore was waking up hungry. (She was exhibiting signs in daytime of being distracted while eating and fit the age group when that happens.) Since then I've been feeding her when she wakes up, which has been around 3-4am. She is a slow eater, especially at night, so I'm usually up for an hour BFing and then also a diaper change.
I can't physically continue to wake up at night like this for much longer. It's not possible for me to nap during the day, as DD takes the shortest naps ever (20-30 min!) and it's my only time to get anything done like laundry, cooking, cleaning. And even then, the house is constantly a wreck and I barely can keep up with the laundry (we CD too.) DH had been able to help quite a bit for the first 3 months, but now isn't as available because he is in a very intensive graduate course and this is his last class before graduating. I'm a SAHM and yet I'm hiring a babysitter once a week this month just so I can have a day to try to catch up on all the housework and if I'm lucky maybe take a nap. Right after DH graduates on June 30, we're moving cross-country. I need time this month to make preparations for that in addition to regular chores.
Has anyone who EBFs tried this supplementing at night with formula? How did you approach it emotionally? And for how long did you continue the supplementing? What other options are there for me and DD to get more sleep?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone "cheat" with formula? (long)
I hate to say it, but you are doing great if your LO is sleeping until 3-4 and then going back to sleep. Even if it takes an hour for her to go back down.
Are you going to bed when she goes to bed, or are you staying up later?
It is really hard to get things done around the house when they are that young and don't nap. It sucks. I would do things like let her play (or lay) in the laundry basket. Having a helper come over is a great idea. Can you get things done while wearing her? Can DH take her for a walk while you do some housework?
Honestly, our place was a bit of a wreck for the first - well - year or so. Lol.
This isn't going to be the answer you want to hear, but I don't think formula is going to help the situation. If I understand correctly, she was previously sleeping from 8-6 straight (which is unheard of for an infant) and now she sleeps from 8-3/4, gets up for an hour, then goes back to sleep for another hour or two. You should be counting your blessings. If she's sleeping for 7-8 hours straight that is excellent sleep for that age and formula isn't going to extend it. On the contrary, since she is so accustomed to BM, the formula may upset her tummy and make her wake up even more. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect an infant to sleep any longer than that without food.
I would try to find ways around it to get more sleep. Can you change your sleep schedule to go to bed earlier? If you go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 3, you've gotten 7 consecutive hours of sleep. When she gets up for her night feeding, could you change her diaper, then bring her in bed with you, let her nurse lying down so you can sleep while she eats? That would also cut down on the amount of awake time you have in the middle of the night.
You certainly have your hands full!
DS was a big baby and also in the NICU for infection for the first week (and partly formula fed) so I can relate to that, and all the issues that come with it. We also used a nipple shield for the first few months because I had flat nipples, but it made DS nurse soooo sloooow. An hour was common. I pretty much lived in our nursing chair.
First, I don't consider formula "cheating". You do what you have to do. However, the reason formula "may" help her sleep better is because it contains more filler, not more nutrition. It's pretty uncommon for a four month old to sleep totally "through the night" and add to that a 4 month growth spurt and distracted daytime nursing and short naps you have a perfect storm for night waking. We bedshared and I hardly woke when DS nursed at night but I know that's not for everyone.
When she nurses during the day is she emptying the breast (or both breasts if you nurse both sides)? If not, you could try pumping for a few minutes after a nursing session and using that to supplement when she's more focused, or at her night waking if she takes a bottle faster. You can even pump one breast while DD nurses from the other. I found that to be the most efficient since DS would trigger the let down and I could take advantage of it. It takes some ninja-like skills until you get used to it.
Honestly, when things got overwhelming with housework etc I dropped cloth diapers for awhile. I hated doing it but if it's adding stress in an already chaotic situation it's one quick way to cut back. You can also check out disposable/biodegradable inserts from Grovia, GDiapers, or Flip and see if they'll work with your diapers so you don't have to switch completely.
Hang in there mama! It gets better but there are always bumps along the way.
We dealt with something similar. We were preparing for a trans-Atlantic move when DS was born. DH left 4 weeks after the birth and DS and I joined him 2.5 months later. I dealt with the movers, realtor, etc. all by myself and at times felt like I was drowning in details (we also CD). Honestly, bed sharing and baby wearing saved me. I didn't have to *really* wake up overnight for feedings and I could get stuff done during the day even when we didn't have furniture and I didn't have anywhere to put the baby for his naps. Is bed sharing an option for you? I also had somebody come in to clean the house every other week so I didn't have to worry about deep cleaning the bathrooms, or kitchen.
That being said, your overnight schedule sounds pretty fantastic.
I agree that you are very lucky with your LOs sleep habits! Waking once is not bad at all and totally normal. I hate to say it, but once she starts teething, rolling, and crawling, you may have times that you are up much more than that.
Can you pump and feed a bottle of BM at night? I agree with the PPs- I don't think formula will solve your problem. My DH has that same theory in his head, I don't know why, but it drives me crazy. Be thankful that your LO is gaining weight so well and seems to be in good health. That means you are doing a great job, mama!
Could you bedshare with her for that 3/4 am wake up? I hate to say this, but even at 16 months I wish my DD would sleep as much as yours! DD NEVER came even close to sleeping through the night, but we've bedshared for almost her whole life so it didn't affect my sleep so much. If I was getting out of bed to nurse every time I'd feel very different about it, but since I just roll over and nurse it's easy enough! Even now, it's a good night when DD only wakes once to nurse (last night, she was up at 11:30, 1, 3, and 5:30...ugh!)
I don't think formula is going to make a difference. I never tried it so I can't say for sure, but formula is not any more nutritious or calorie dense than BM. And from what I've read on the bump, many moms who do try formula (or rice cereal) in the hopes of getting their kid to sleep more are often disappointed!
Also, it may just be her age. There's a 4 month sleep regression, and your DD is probably hitting that as well.
Good luck!
I guess there's just very little hope then. Thanks anyway...
I would like to go to bed earlier, but there are many other things going on that I can hardly do so, but when I can I go to bed around 9:30pm but sometimes not till 11/11:30pm. Maybe it just sounds like I'm complaining, sorry. We're in a very difficult and on-going legal battle with DH's former employer, preparing a cross-country move, DH's grad school and trying to graduate, barely surviving financially, and of course adjusting to parenthood. We have no family where we live (and nowhere near), so very little local support at this time. I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed, and just hoping I can make it through this next month so that we can move, get away from our frustrating legal situation and maybe have more ability to cope with lack of sleep in our next destination. This year has been very different than we expected when I first became pregnant one year ago...life's so unpredictable!
Two things:
1. It is developmentally norma/common to experience more frequent night wakings at around 4 months and it is referred to as The 4 Month Wakeful.
2. Sleep is not linear and there will be regressions in the future. Letting go of your expectations regarding both sleep and your domestic duties may relieve some of your stress.
My 11 month old is around 30 pounds. She is off the charts for height and weight and always has been and is EBF. Your baby is doing AMAZING if she's sleeping that long. Mine used to sleep that well at 3 months, too. Now she wakes up every couple of hours to nurse.
I think a change in perspective might help. Your job right now is feeding and caring for your baby. Make a simple dinner that you can accomplish with her in the moby in 15 min or less. I used to (and still do sometimes) cut up things in the morning and then cook them quickly at night. As far as cloth diapers, it takes 5 min, throw them in the laundry, turn it on and walk away. If hanging them to dry is taking too much time, then just hang up the covers and throw everything else in the dryer.
Your house is not going to look perfect right now and it's o.k. It's alright if the bathroom is gross, the trash needs to be taken out, then laundry is piled up. We've all been there.
One wake up is totally normal. I do supplement at bedtime because I am consistently low of milk by the end of the day and it didn't change a thing. Still one wake up for us.
You could do it so that your husband could do the bedtime routine and that could give you a little extra time to get things done but you'll still be waking in the early morning.
This!! ((hugs!))
Not to be rude but LO wakes every 3 hours during the night to eat still and DH and I both work full time jobs! He will sleep longer some nights if I am really lucky. I'm still the one who nurses LO after DH attempts to comfort him to go back to sleep. If he doesn't go back to sleep, I nurse LO.
1. I can't take naps during the day with LO because I'm working.
2. LO takes 20-30min cat naps too.
3. We do what we can to keep the house manageable but by no means is it clean like it used to be.
I wish I was a SAHM to at least pick a few things up around the house during those 20-30 min! We have to both be at work by 7am and get LO to the sitter....
I was going to say this, well # 1 specifically. #2 is a very well-worded bonus.
Sleep disruptions frequently happen around times when LO is mastering new skills, ie. rolling, crawling, cognitive things we can't actually "see," but that make a big impact on how LO relates to the world around her.
And they will continue to happen as LO grows and encounters new things in the world around her. My DD is generally a great sleeper, and even when she wakes up now, she will generally just play with her dolls in bed or get up and go to the bathroom on her own without bothering us. However, when we moved at age 3.5 (about 5 months ago), her sleep was a disaster. She was so overwhelmed by the new city, new school, and new language that she was only sleeping in 2-3 hours chunks at night and wanted us to come in and hang out with her each time she woke up.
I was rather miserable in my new city as a result for the first month or so, so I can completely relate to how crappppy not sleeping makes you feel and how you're looking for any solution to return to normal sleeping patterns. But, if it helps at all, just think that the messed-up sleep is going to result in some exciting new skills for your LO!
Did anyone suggest dream feeding yet? Before you go to bed, try to pick up your LO and feed her without really waking her up. That way she is getting food later at night and maybe she'll sleep better.
It does sound like your LO is an excellent sleeper...I know what you are going through as far as expectations. DS was a great sleeper until 4 months. However, he went from sleeping 5-10 hrs a night to waking up every 1-2 hours for months. He is two now and sleeps from 8-8:30pm until 4:30-5:30am without waking up, and that is miraculous for us. Hopefully you'll just have this one waking and it won't get worse than that.
FWIW, a 5 hour stretch is considered "sleeping through the night" so your LO is still doing that. Babies just wake up at night. It sucks, but we survive it somehow.