When you say how old your baby would have been (siggy warning)

MrsRiceARoni · June 2012

What do you start counting from? When I talk about when I lost my son I talk about from when his heart stopped. But I'm never sure what to say how old he would have been now. Sometimes I count from when I delivered him so I say if he had been born living he would be X months old now, somtimes I say if he was born on his due date. I'm just curious when you ladies count from. I'm also curious to see if it differs based on how far you were when you lost your baby. I'd imagine if you lost your baby sooner (like before Vday) that maybe you'd count from EDD?

whiteroses05 · June 2012

I say from when I gave birth to my little one. Which it is hard to believe it has been 2 months already!! However no one had really asked me about our lo. I think alot of people around us found it easier to just pretend it didn't happen. Well sorry it did for us!!

lrichmond86 · June 2012

I always count from the day I delivered. Baby Gary was at 31 weeks gestation and wasn't due until February. Sometimes when I think about how old he "should" have been I count from his EDD. But when I talk about him it's always from his birthday. As time goes on, I find that I'm the only one who keeps track of how long it's been. DH and my mom recognize the big milestones (his upcoming 6 month birthday, for example), but that's about it. I, on the other hand count the months, weeks, days, and hours since I last got to hold my precious son. After a while it becomes such a private remembrance...

MrsRiceARoni · June 2012

whiteroses05:
I say from when I gave birth to my little one. Which it is hard to believe it has been 2 months already!! However no one had really asked me about our lo. I think alot of people around us found it easier to just pretend it didn't happen. Well sorry it did for us!!

I know what you mean! I think this is a common problem, but I've found in my experience the more I talk about him the more others seem to feel comfortable saying something. I think if I show them that I'm ok talking about him others find it's ok to talk about him to me. As far as I'm concearned I have as much right to talk about my son as any other mother!

carrotsoup70 · June 2012

I also count from the day he was born. Since Ian was only born 2 weeks before his due date, it makes more sense to me than his due date.

cherrycobbler · June 2012

I don't think anyone has ever asked me that. He was born at 33 wks and lived for 6 days. In my head I count from his birth date, so he would would have been just over 9 months. Unfortunately in my head also, I will always think of him as a 6 day old. Sometimes my brain feels a little scrambled with thoughts. I like thinking of him as growing up, but I just can't picture it. So my final answer is: from the moment he was outside.

LoveOfMikesLife · June 2012

***** SIGGY warning****

Addison was only 3 days away from her due date so I go by the day I gave birth to her.

magdalina.h · June 2012

He would be almost 2.5 yrs old. I say from his date of birth

johnnys june · June 2012

I say from the date of his birth as well. Logan would be 2 in October.

weddedwife · June 2012

My son was born SO premature, honestly no one even asks how long ago it was. I would say how many months ago he died. I might also mention how old he should be now, based on his EDD. I'd say he should be "about 3 months old".

mrssoprano · June 2012

Since she was born so early and we're not sure exactly when her heart stopped, I go by her due date. I think I am the only one who thinks about it every month, though.

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