Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mnb311
member
I was already terrified of labor and having weekly meltdowns, now I'm even more scared!!! I've read on the 3rd Tri board about after care for your bottom area after vaginal delivery, but what sort of care is involved with a c-section? How long afterwards am I going to be in pain for?
Re: have to have c-section and very scared :(
Like others have said, take it easy and let yourself heal. Have your DH or SO take care of dishes, cooking, and laundry. All you need to do is take care of yourself and your LO. I only need pain meds for one week, maybe a week and a half. I probably took them a few days too long just to be sure I wouldn't need them.
Make sure while in the hospital you get up and walk once the Dr clears you to do so. The best way to speed up your recovery is to get moving (slowly of course). The nurses will make sure you are on top of pain meds. Each day getting up and down gets easier.
The surgery is a little scary and overwhelming but it will be over before you know it and you can be reunited with your LO.
Don't be scared!! I labored for 36 hours and then found out I wasn't going to be able to have my 1st, had an emergency section it wasn't terrible! I just had my 2nd section last week and it was great compared to my 1st section, is there pain? Yes but do you have pain with a vaginal yes! Really talk to your doctor about your fears you will do great! The nurses are so helpful and my husband is loads of help. The best thing to do is TAKE THE PAIN MEDS whether you think you need them or not! You have to stay ahead of the pain and you will be fine. GL
DH-34-MFI-motility+morphology.... Me-32-Hypothyrpid+LPD
7/8/11: Clomid100mg+Ovidrel+IUI#1=BFN
8/2/11: Clomid50mg+Ovidrel+IUI#2=BFFN
8/25/11: Follistim50iu+Ovidrel+IUI#3=BFP!!!!@14dpo
Beta#1 9/8 - 251 Beta#2 9/15 - 1622 Beta#3 9/22 - 12674
1st U/S; heard one beautiful HB of 129 - 9/29/11
OB visit; HB of 166 - 10/13/11
2nd US; HB of 163 - 10/18/11
A/S - 12/9/11 - It's a perfect healthy BOY!!!!
Our miracle baby boy - born 5/24/12
Stay calm, and ignore all the horror stories! Sure, there are bad c/s recoveries. There are also bad vaginal birth recoveries - it can go either way. Scheduled c/s tend to be easier than those that occur after labor or as emergencies, so you've got that going for you. I've had two scheduled c/s and they've both been really great experiences! I liked the controlled aspect of knowing we were going to the hospital at X time on X date, being able to set up care for pets (and with #2, our other child) ahead of time, etc. As for the c/s itself - it was not bad at all! I enjoyed the births of my babies, felt no less accomplished or bonded afterward, and gladly signed up for another c/s for #2 (and another planned for #3!)
The biggest thing you can do, and it's been said before - GET UP as soon as possible. My c/s with DS was at 11:30am, and by mid-evening they had me up and walking around. It was painful at first, but by morning I felt really good, got up and showered and blew my hair dry, put on make up, etc. With DD my c/s was at 7:30am, and I started asking the nurses to get me up by lunch time. The sooner the better! Stay on top of your pain meds, you don't get a hero badge for taking less than they offer. I took everything they offered in the hospital, and was fine with just ibuprofen once I went home. I was taking strolls around the neighborhood with the stroller by about a week and a half out and driving at two weeks.
Good luck to you!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I also had a planned c-section for my DD, who's also my 1st, and was pretty nervous ahead of time. But the nice thing about a c is that you don't have to go through labor, lol! Mine actually was not a bad experience at all. The most painful part of all of it was honestly the IV. They put it in my arm just above my wrist, which looking back was a good place, but it really hurt. The 2nd worst part was the spinal, but I had a great nurse who really helped me stay still.
I was in some pain for a couple weeks. The worst was trying to roll over in bed or sit up for the first time. Keep taking your pain meds, even when you don't think you need them anymore, and stay active. Get up and move around as soon as you can and drink plenty of water. The only care was just keeping the incision dry and clean.
Oops, the worst part of the c-s was the constipation afterwards. Not to scare you, but I was not expecting it to be so bad. The nurses give you a stool softener with your pain meds... take them!!! And be sure to drink lots of water, and I even ordered prune juice with my meals to get things moving. But after a few days I was completely back to normal.
As pp's have said, everyone's body takes it differently. My biggest suggestions (which have been mentioned): stay on top of your pain meds, hold a pillow to your stomach to cough/sneeze, take it easy when getting up (couch, bed, toilet, etc. It can be tricky because you don't know how much you use those muscles until you're in that situation and it starts to sting/burn/pull where your incision is), and follow your doctors orders.
Don't forget that it's major surgery and it's going to take some time to fully heal. Don't try to be supermom - accept help or ask for it when you need it. Wishing you the best!! It's not as scary once you are there and it's happening. You will pretty much be more focused on hearing your baby cry and seeing them than anything else.
Hang in there - it will be ok!
Other than taking pain meds and taking it easy all you have to do is keep it covered for as long as they tell you and then wear clothes that don't rub on it.
My doc said nothing special is needed. when you shower don't soap it, just let water run down on it. after showers lightly pat dry, then use hair dryer to blow cool air on the scar area.
if clothes bother you, put a huge band aid on or tape a maxi pad - my friend did that. I just lived in yoga pants for 6 weeks till I was no longer scared of clothes touching that area... haha...
It is really not terrible. No cake walk, but you will be fine! Mine turned out to be wonderful. Honestly in retrospect, I will take this over having my lady bits mangled and waiting for those to heal....
I ended up with an emergency hystorectomy after my c-section so it was way more involved than most c-sections are but even with all of that I didn't think my recovery was bad at all. The week after my pain never got over a 7 (I was on hydrocodone and Tylenol) but when I went home on day 5 I took three doses of Percocet and then just Tylenol for a few more days. The worst part ( and it was awful) was tryin to poop. Worst thing ever. Take all the stool softness you can and push lots and lots of water! If it was possible for me to have more kids I would have another c-section in a heartbeat. I was terrified too but all the worrying was for nothing. Try to relax and just keep doing research on what you want to know, you will be totally fine!
I was terrified when I had my c-section. I was told after 20 hours of back labor that is DS's heart rate dropped again it would be an emergency c-section. After another hour of labor, the doc gave me the choice to wait or go ahead and do the CS. I chose the CS because DH would be with us. About 5 min later, DS heart rate dropped and they moved me FAST!!! Dh did get to come back with me because we were already ready for it. I was exhausted after the CS and slept a little after DS was born. My only advise is to take the pain meds when they offer them. I waited for two hours and was in a lot of pain when I finally did take them. The first night was rough but after that it was ok. I stayed on top of my pain meds and was up the next day walking around. Take it easy though, don't push it.
This.
It honestly is not that bad assuming you take care of yourself afterwards. I felt great by day 6! By week two it was almost like I didn't even have surgery. I exercised by week three (pacing myself of course).
The first couple days suck but try walking a bit as soon as you can. It helps the healing process.
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p
bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks
bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks