Dreading sharing the news??

shea5711 · June 2012

Is anyone else not looking forward to making the news public? Don't get me wrong, my husband and I are thrilled to be pregnant...but for some reason I'm not looking forward to letting anyone in on our little secret. I think it's mainly for superstitious reasons, but if I had my way I probably wouldn't tell people until I was REALLY REALLY showing. This can't happen because I really should tell people at work once I'm about 10 weeks. I'm also kinda dreading telling our families....mainly because I know it will spread like wild fire and don't wan to be asked a million and one time "how are you feeling?"

It all sounds kind of silly but I really wish I could just fly under the radar on this, but it's unavoidable. Thanks for letting me vent and hopefully I'm not the only one feeling this way!

rjade9 · June 2012

I wouldn't say I am dreading the news, but I am very nervous to tell more people. I had a post on PAIF about how I had to share with too many people at work about our treatmets. Well now I work tonight and everyone knows I had an u/s this week so I will have to tell people.

I am very happy to tell but so nervous because it's so early!

dinonugget1517 · June 2012

I am not having this problem! I can't wait to let people in on the news (which will be happening in a few days!!)

spartyparty · June 2012

I have mixed emotions about it. Mainly b/c we plan on telling our parents all together, and I think my mom might get petty and mad that I didn't tell her first. But to us it's important to share it with both sets of parents at the same time. So we'll see how it goes!

MommaWest11 · June 2012

Yep... I am. We already told everyone, save Dh's family. I also did not directly tell my mom's father, or his wife.

We were torn into with baby number 1. Neither one of us want to deal with the drama of telling his family about our surprise baby. I have no idea when we will tell them... I am sure they will figure it out eventually.

As for my grandparents... there is too much childish drama and they hurt my feelings very, very badly last time I saw them, about 2 months ago. I know my grandma knows, she is on facebook, but she will deny knowing up and down. I will be wrong either way, so, she can talk behind my back, like she will anyway. I don't need to hear her nags and whines and pouts. Less stress, the better.

BLPL101 · June 2012

I just told my brother today and I was scared! I felt like a 17 year old telling their dad that they are pregnant! There is no reason I should feel like this! DH and I have been married for almost 4 years, we own a house and we are doing good financially. He was really excited for me, but I was so nervous telling him!

Schrodinger · June 2012

I'm kind of dreading it. A few years ago my brother and SIL didn't tell me or my sister until they were more than 20 weeks along. Both of us were pretty hurt over that and felt really left out. Then, last year my sister told half the family but not the other half. Lots more hurt feelings.

I live 2500 miles away from everyone, so it will have to be phone calls and emails, but I'm nervous since my family as a history of having hurt feelings over announcements.

dkmc4ever · June 2012

BLPL101:
I just told my brother today and I was scared! I felt like a 17 year old telling their dad that they are pregnant! There is no reason I should feel like this! DH and I have been married for almost 4 years, we own a house and we are doing good financially. He was really excited for me, but I was so nervous telling him!

This was me telling my dad. I felt the same way I felt telling him DH and I had moved in together back in college. At this point, we've been married 3 years and I still don't like him knowing I have sex!

And yes, I am absolutely dreading telling work. I thought I could wait until I was well into the 2nd tri and starting to show, but there are some scheduling issues coming up and I'd like to inform them that they'll need to extra coverage around Christmastime.

Doesn't help that the running joke/truth is that my boss has terrible luck filling my position because everyone who's had it gets pregnant and end up not coming back.

tkdchica · June 2012

I really dreaded telling people too, but I don't really know why. My family is very excited.

I finally had to break down and tell my boss on Friday because of the insane amount of doctor appointments, and he was so great. He's even helping me hide it from the rest of the office until I'm ready. He shared with me that his wife had a couple of miscarriages so he completely understood why I wasn't ready to tell everyone yet.

So it's turned out great so far, but I completely understand dreading telling people.

ungraceful13 · June 2012

The only thing I worry about regarding telling family is that I'm scared my IL's will be hurt if they find out we told my parents much sooner than we told them. We told my parents at 5 weeks and will tell my IL's at 11 weeks. I really wanted to tell my IL's I was just scared of how could I untell them if something happened so we decided to wait. Hopefully they will understand.

bearkatjen · June 2012

I'm dreading telling work, but that's because I'm new and due at a busy time in the year. We have to work out something leave wise, and I'm worried about job security.

My parents, siblings and in-laws know, and I'm looking forward to not hiding it anymore from all my friends and extended family. I'm not really excited to share the news like I was with DS, but that's because I'm not as excited about this pregnancy.

lcunningham · June 2012

I am. Only with certain people though as to hear the reaction...oh 3...oh my....you'll have your hands full. Why three? stop at 2. Grr.

ebyardley · June 2012

My concern is largely because this is my first pregnancy. I am about 5.5 weeks and haven't gone to my first prenatal appointment. I just told my mom today, but was hesitant to even do that for fear that I could lose the baby. Much of what I have read indicates that it is common to miscarry during a first pregnancy. So for that reason, I definitely understand--and somewhat dread--giving the news. I'm just scared to fully embrace this reality and share the excitement with others, only to then maybe have to let everyone know the worst. I pray that isn't the case, but I'm just so nervous.

tombomb84 · June 2012

I thought I was going to be really excited to tell people, but for the most part I am not. After going through so much with infertility it doesn't even feel real yet and now that we know we are having twins I think I just need more time for it to sink it before I am ready to share.

LaurelBee · June 2012

I am glad we didn't share right away. We told our immediate families right after my bfp with Ds. That was disasterous, like pp said, it spread like wildfire even though we asked them not to tell anyone yet. It was really awkward and I cried about it a lot. This time we've told our good friends and that's it so far. It's nice to enjoy it, just us 3

I will be traveling in July, so we plan to tell family at the end of June.

bstengler · June 2012

Totally understand what you mean!! I've kept my mouth sealed. After having a m/c and having everyone know I was pregnant. I'm not chancing anything again!!

StarrSquared · June 2012

Im not looking forward to telling any of my family (my parents excluded because they already know) But i know everyone is going to be all :I about it. Mostly because DH doesnt have a job right now and i havent been able to find one either. but he wants to go back to school but still. he needs a job too. his parents im sure are going to go "what are you thinking what are you doing with your life" and im kinda scared to tell them because i dont want them to kick us out of the house we are living in now (Dh's dad's old house) my sister will have a *** fit because she's *** nuts. my grandparents (on my father's side) are going to give us the "you're ruining your lives" speach AGAIN like they did when we were pregnant with DD. my mom's mom i know will be excited despite any situation because, as my mother said "It's a beautiful new life and you have family to help you when you're in hard times just dont be afraid to ask. what is more beautiful than our family growing?"

just think im going to tell people around the 4th ish... still super undecided. i really want to wait till the anatamy scan

==N== · June 2012

So bad. I really dont want to tell work. I dont want to have to tell every single person in the company individually, but I also dont want to hear, "OMG youre pregnant? You didnt even tell me!" I dont want to be asked how Im feeling 17000 times a day by each person I see, or any of the other questions that go along with it for the next 7 months. I dont really like being the center of attention so I dont want to just walk up to people and say "Im pregnant!". Im hoping to tell one or two people and let it travel through the grapevine. My work is pretty gossipy anyway.

Then theres some of my family Im not really close with but I feel like when I tell my extended family I cant pick and choose which ones I tell so thats kind of awkward to be like "Hey, I know we dont talk but I just want to tell you..."

mjhunhoff · June 2012

Could agree with you more. I get anxiety every time the convo comes up about how we're going to tell the parents much less everyone else. I don't want the glances; the constant question "how are you feeling?". I know people will overshare (bc they're excited) but I want to keep this as low profile as possible. But the DH is super excited and comes home every day saying "we need to tell people. I almost slipped to ..."

TKtravels · June 2012

I too am not keen on telling anyone, and DH backs me up on that.

A lot of family drama will come up when we out ourselves, and I just prefer not to deal with it until we absolutely have to.

And like a few of you have mentioned, I also just don't want to respond to questions of "how are you feeling?" by well-meaning people, or worse yet be forced to listen to "advice" or reminders from people.

I like to keep my business private, and I have a very low tolerance fr what I perceive to be the ignorance of others (eg. telling me I should start eating meat now because the baby needs it, or that we should get rid of our cats because I'm certain to contract toxoplasmosis and the cats will smother the baby after it is born).

It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who prefers to keep silent on this for as long as is possible. Thanks ladies!

OliveBeckett · June 2012

I want to tell family really, really badly but I want to wait till I'm sure it's a sticky baby.

Still haven't seen the baby on u/s so this still doesn't seem real!

On work: I am my boss's first employee ever and he JUST promoted me. There is another woman in my department who has the same job as me but has young kids and we sort of work with her a lot. Anyway he complains about the fact that she arrives late and leaves early (even though she is great at her job and gets things done and her boss doesn't care) because of her kids. So now I'm hesitant to tell him lest he think that the same will be true of how I work after kids!!!

I really like my boss and my job so I'm worried about how and when to tell

jenn248 · June 2012

I hear you. We will be telling both sets of parents in two weeks (I'll be almost 11 weeks then) and I am not particularly looking forward to it. It's not that they won't be excited; the problem is that my mom will be so excited, she is going to drive me nuts with endless questions and comments for the next seven months. I've enjoyed the relative peace and quiet thus far.

NativeFloridian · June 2012

I'm dreading it mostly because this baby was a surprise. I was tracking as a way of preventing, but I guess when I started my new job and breastfeeding slowed to a crawl, things changed really quickly and I'm apparently a Fertile Myrtle. And FI recently lost his job and hasn't been able to locate a new one, so we're going to get a lot of, "Don't you know what causes babies," and "How do you plan on paying for everything," etc.

It's also worth mentioning that I had my first when I was 19, so nobody was excited, and FI and I got pregnant practically right after we started dating, so nobody was excited. And nobody will be excited this time. And since this is our last baby, we pretty much never get to announce a pregnancy to an excited family. I just kind of want to skip the part with all the head-shaking, you know?

bundymommy · June 2012

I don't like to tell people either. I get all awkward and nervous. We have told our families, but that's it. I'm DREADING telling work I'm pregnant again. It's kind of the thing there to have your kids far apart, and I think I'll get some comments about how close mine will be. I'm not sure what to do about all the doctor's appointments though. My boss is kind of nosey. If I say I'm going to the doctor he'll ask why. It's SUPER awkward.

Want a personalized experience?

Dreading sharing the news??

Re: Dreading sharing the news??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards