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2nd Trimester
Off of the "Bratty/Misbehaved" Post...Parents
When I see bratty or misbehaved children my first thought is the lack of parenting skills of the parent(s). However, I do understand that a child's behavior could be caused be their medication, metal issues etc... I am just saying that my first thought unless I can spot some other reason for the bad behavior is that the child's bad behavior is the parents poor or lack of parenting skills.
What are your thoughts...
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Re: Off of the "Bratty/Misbehaved" Post...Parents
I agree, my dad's sister and her husband were not good parents. They'd just yell at the kids, threaten them, but never follow through with the threats, so the kids learned over time that they just yell threats but do nothing. It carried over with them through the years and the kids are now adult brats. I think there are a lot of parents out there who are either too lazy to parent properly or just don't care because it is just easier to let them do what they want rather than put up a little fight with the kids. Sometimes I want to say, HELLO your 30 years old the kid is 2!!! Your going to let a 2 year old win!! And there are other cases where the kids just have behavior issues period that require more than just stern parenting.
I still think in most cases of bratty kids you can put the blame right on the parents themselves.
We all (forgive me for speaking for the group) understand that some mis-behavior is just going to happen, but I don't think kids who act like little monsters all the time are going through "the natural process of learning". That's just poor parenting. Period.
Your right, I have no children and maybe my thoughts will change then.
BUT, again, kids that are more of a challenge just need more work and I don't think some parents take the time to deal with it.
No, no kids yet. However, some of my work is dealing with young kids with behavior problems and with working with parents on how to develop stronger parenting skills. A lot of my clients are great parents and mean well, but for what ever reason (low education, the way they grew up, just life) they lack certain parenting skills.?
My point was that outside my office just walking around a mall I see some kids lash out/misbehave. Sometimes you can tell that it is because the child is tried or needs to eat etc...but some parents such as the poster who said that the parents child was just free running around a store is a sign of low/lack of parenting skills.
If I see a child hitting a parent or calling her a biotch and the parent does nothing to stop that behavior you cant help but look at that and think that the parent has some parenting issues. ?
I think it all depends on the day, the age of the child, the atmosphere and the current health/nap/feeding schedule....and also sometimes the parenting. One day I can go out and my DD will be a perfect angel...the next? A MONSTER. I do the same things each shopping or dining experience...just depends on her mood.
I too hate when parents do nothing or what we perceive as the wrong thing and their kids look like brats. My biggest pet peeve is whne we are out at a restaurant and they do nothing to keep them quiet. If they made 1/2 an effort i'd totally feel for them. I know that when i'm out w/ my DD people probably have their own thoughts and opinions, but at least we make the effort and even remove her from situations for the best of the other patrons.
But, you have NO idea until you have a toddler!!!!! Sometimes discipline works, sometimes ignoring works, sometime diverting works. SOMETIMES NOTHING WORKS!!!
OMG! I heart you!! Very well said!
If a parent is obviously making an effort they get nothing but sympathy from me. It's the ones who don't seem to give a damn that their kids are being obnoxious that I question.
There will come a day when your toddler will go through some hellish stage and you get so tired and fed up with it you just give up. And you ignore the child and their annoying behavior. Every mother has their off days and every child has their off days, it's just not good when they both fall on the same day.
And when that happens, you won't care what other people think of you and your parenting skills.
LOL, like the other day wehen I was out w/ DD and she was AWFUL (little did I know she was coming down w/ a cold and felt miserable on the inside!)....she had a meltdown and was screaming in the middle of the store and was swating at me...biting,..you name it. Some lady just stared at me like I was the worst parent ever. I asked her if she wanted to take her from me and make it all better...LOL LOL. Let's just say she kept walking.
I think if a parent has one bad child, its probably the child, but if a parent has 2 or 3 children who are all badly behaved, it's probably the parent.