2nd Trimester

Off of the "Bratty/Misbehaved" Post...Parents

When I see bratty or misbehaved children my first thought is the lack of parenting skills of the parent(s). However, I do understand that a child's behavior could be caused be their medication, metal issues etc... I am just saying that my first thought unless I can spot some other reason for the bad behavior is that the child's bad behavior is the parents poor or lack of parenting skills.

What are your thoughts...


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Re: Off of the "Bratty/Misbehaved" Post...Parents

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  • Yup, absolutely.
    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  • Also agreed!!
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  • I agree, my dad's sister and her husband were not good parents.  They'd just yell at the kids, threaten them, but never follow through with the threats, so the kids learned over time that they just yell threats but do nothing.  It carried over with them through the years and the kids are now adult brats.  I think there are a lot of parents out there who are either too lazy to parent properly or just don't care because it is just easier to let them do what they want rather than put up a little fight with the kids.  Sometimes I want to say, HELLO your 30 years old the kid is 2!!!  Your going to let a 2 year old win!!  And there are other cases where the kids just have behavior issues period that require more than just stern parenting.

    I still think in most cases of bratty kids you can put the blame right on the parents themselves.

    Booze, it's what's for dinner imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Birth - 7 lbs. 7 oz., 20 inches 1 Month - 9 lbs., 5 oz, 21 inches 2 Months - 11 lbs., 4.5 oz, 23 inches 4 Months - 14 lbs, 1 oz, 26.5 inches 6 months - 16 lbs, 1 oz, 28.75 inches 9 months - 18 lbs, 6 oz, 29.25 inches 1 Year - 21 lbs, 6 oz, 31 inches 2 Years - 28 lbs., 37 inches
  • Do you have a child?  It doesn't sound like it.  A lot of misbehavior in children is just part of the natural process of learning.  Some kids take longer to learn the lessons than others.  Some kids are more tired, hungry, or distractable than others, all of which contribute to misbehavior.  Sure some people are bad parents, but most people I know are good parents, some just have more challenging kids than others.
  • imageJOEBunny:
    Do you have a child?  It doesn't sound like it.  A lot of misbehavior in children is just part of the natural process of learning.  Some kids take longer to learn the lessons than others.  Some kids are more tired, hungry, or distractable than others, all of which contribute to misbehavior.  Sure some people are bad parents, but most people I know are good parents, some just have more challenging kids than others.

    We all (forgive me for speaking for the group) understand that some mis-behavior is just going to happen, but I don't think kids who act like little monsters all the time are going through "the natural process of learning". That's just poor parenting. Period.

    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  • Your right, I have no children and maybe my thoughts will change then.

    BUT, again, kids that are more of a challenge just need more work and I don't think some parents take the time to deal with it. 

    Booze, it's what's for dinner imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Birth - 7 lbs. 7 oz., 20 inches 1 Month - 9 lbs., 5 oz, 21 inches 2 Months - 11 lbs., 4.5 oz, 23 inches 4 Months - 14 lbs, 1 oz, 26.5 inches 6 months - 16 lbs, 1 oz, 28.75 inches 9 months - 18 lbs, 6 oz, 29.25 inches 1 Year - 21 lbs, 6 oz, 31 inches 2 Years - 28 lbs., 37 inches
  • Lets also not forget overtired and bored.  DS is only 19 months old and he defiantly starts whinning when he's been in the cart for too long.  Has nothing to do with medication or mental issues. 
  • Right there with you.  I saw a mom in the grocery store the other day whose kid was screaming at her that she didn't love him because she wouldn't let him have candy.  UGH.  My kids know they could NEVER get away with that, and therefore don't even try.
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  • imageJOEBunny:
    Do you have a child?? It doesn't sound like it.? A lot of misbehavior in children is just part of the natural process of learning.? Some kids take longer to learn the lessons than others.? Some kids are more tired, hungry, or distractable than others, all of which contribute to misbehavior.? Sure some people are bad parents, but most people I know are good parents, some just have more challenging kids than others.

    No, no kids yet. However, some of my work is dealing with young kids with behavior problems and with working with parents on how to develop stronger parenting skills. A lot of my clients are great parents and mean well, but for what ever reason (low education, the way they grew up, just life) they lack certain parenting skills.?

    My point was that outside my office just walking around a mall I see some kids lash out/misbehave. Sometimes you can tell that it is because the child is tried or needs to eat etc...but some parents such as the poster who said that the parents child was just free running around a store is a sign of low/lack of parenting skills.

    If I see a child hitting a parent or calling her a biotch and the parent does nothing to stop that behavior you cant help but look at that and think that the parent has some parenting issues. ?

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  • I think it all depends on the day, the age of the child, the atmosphere and the current health/nap/feeding schedule....and also sometimes the parenting.  One day I can go out and my DD will be a perfect angel...the next?  A MONSTER.  I do the same things each shopping or dining experience...just depends on her mood. 

    I too hate when parents do nothing or what we perceive as the wrong thing and their kids look like brats. My biggest pet peeve is whne we are out at a restaurant and they do nothing to keep them quiet.  If they made 1/2 an effort i'd totally feel for them. I know that when i'm out w/ my DD people probably have their own thoughts and opinions, but at least we make the effort and even remove her from situations for the best of the other patrons. 

    But, you have NO idea until you have a toddler!!!!!  Sometimes discipline works, sometimes ignoring works, sometime diverting works.  SOMETIMES NOTHING WORKS!!! 

  • imagejenp02:

    I think it all depends on the day, the age of the child, the atmosphere and the current health/nap/feeding schedule....and also sometimes the parenting.  One day I can go out and my DD will be a perfect angel...the next?  A MONSTER.  I do the same things each shopping or dining experience...just depends on her mood. 

    I too hate when parents do nothing or what we perceive as the wrong thing and their kids look like brats. My biggest pet peeve is whne we are out at a restaurant and they do nothing to keep them quiet.  If they made 1/2 an effort i'd totally feel for them. I know that when i'm out w/ my DD people probably have their own thoughts and opinions, but at least we make the effort and even remove her from situations for the best of the other patrons. 

    But, you have NO idea until you have a toddler!!!!!  Sometimes discipline works, sometimes ignoring works, sometime diverting works.  SOMETIMES NOTHING WORKS!!! 

    OMG!  I heart you!!  Very well said!

  • imagejenp02:

    I think it all depends on the day, the age of the child, the atmosphere and the current health/nap/feeding schedule....and also sometimes the parenting.  One day I can go out and my DD will be a perfect angel...the next?  A MONSTER.  I do the same things each shopping or dining experience...just depends on her mood. 

    I too hate when parents do nothing or what we perceive as the wrong thing and their kids look like brats. My biggest pet peeve is whne we are out at a restaurant and they do nothing to keep them quiet.  If they made 1/2 an effort i'd totally feel for them. I know that when i'm out w/ my DD people probably have their own thoughts and opinions, but at least we make the effort and even remove her from situations for the best of the other patrons. 

    But, you have NO idea until you have a toddler!!!!!  Sometimes discipline works, sometimes ignoring works, sometime diverting works.  SOMETIMES NOTHING WORKS!!! 

    If a parent is obviously making an effort they get nothing but sympathy from me. It's the ones who don't seem to give a damn that their kids are being obnoxious that I question.

    image Don't argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level then beat you with experience. - Mrs. G
  •  

    There will come a day when your toddler will go through some hellish stage and you get so tired and fed up with it you just give up.  And you ignore the child and their annoying behavior.  Every mother has their off days and every child has their off days, it's just not good when they both fall on the same day.

    And when that happens, you won't care what other people think of you and your parenting skills.

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  • I used to think like you do pre-kids but now I think you are wrong to a degree....I think children's personalities vary widely & some children are MUCH harder than others...some kids just are more laid back & passive than others.  It's the "fault" of the parent's in that it's genetics but I do not believe a bratty 2yr old equals a bad parent.  2yr olds misbehave, some are more challenging than others.  I know this for a fact based on my own 2 children & from talking to my friends.  My oldest child pushed boundaries constantly from 18mo to 3yrs...She's a joy now at 4yrs old but it was VERY hard for a long time.  My younger one just minds better...she's passive, she's laid back, she's just different.  Now older kids, I can see that parenting/rules should reign in those personality issues but a 2yr old doesn't have the reasoning skills & understand like even a 6yr old.  If it was always parenting then all the kids in a family would be the same difficultness/in trouble but we all know that's not the case in most instances.    
    AKA Carol*Brady! IHO my upcoming 10yr Nestiversary--Back to old screenname. My own Marsha, Jan & Cindy... imageDesigning a Life Blog
  • imagejnealet:

     

    There will come a day when your toddler will go through some hellish stage and you get so tired and fed up with it you just give up.  And you ignore the child and their annoying behavior.  Every mother has their off days and every child has their off days, it's just not good when they both fall on the same day.

    And when that happens, you won't care what other people think of you and your parenting skills.

     

    LOL, like the other day wehen I was out w/ DD and she was AWFUL (little did I know she was coming down w/ a cold and felt miserable on the inside!)....she had a meltdown and was screaming in the middle of the store and was swating at me...biting,..you name it.  Some lady just stared at me like I was the worst parent ever.  I asked her if she wanted to take her from me and make it all better...LOL LOL.  Let's just say she kept walking.

  • There's a big difference between a small child getting cranky and loud in a stroller and the misbehaved kids I have in mind. I'm thinking more about the ones who are ripping up store displays, eating through the boxes of donuts as they go.
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  • I think if a parent has one bad child, its probably the child, but if a parent has 2 or 3 children who are all badly behaved, it's probably the parent.

  • I totally love it when people talk about what wonderful parents they're going to be and how well behaved their children will be when they don't have kids yet. It's hysterical. I did my best parenting before I had a child too. Now I have days when my daughter throws herself down on the floor in the middle of the aisle in the grocery store and screams because she wants dora popsicles. And I'm sorry but I can't always "pick her up and leave the store" because I don't freaking have time to go back. It happens. It will happen to you, too. I guarantee it. And know what? I'm a really good parent.
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