My own baby hates me

ssumargo · June 2012

Each time I pick her up to soothe her or feed her, she fusses and cries even more. It's almost impossible for me to even put a bib on her because she's constantly jerking away from me. Yet when her grandma or dad picks her up, she instantly stops crying and keeps looking at their direction. Even just hearing their voices seem to soothe her. What am I doing wrong? Could it be possible that she doesn't like me? Anybody else experiencing the same behavior?

FyreFlyeRush · June 2012

It's probably anxiety. She can sense and pick up on it. Contrary to what Hollywood shows, mom and baby aren't always BFFs right at the get go. You both are getting to know each other. Skin to skin time can help that along. Strip her down to her diaper and snuggle her bare skinned to your bare chest. Cover both of you with a receiving blanket. Stay that way as long as she lets you. If your BF, do a few sessions skin to skin. Talk to her while she's on your chest. She'll hear your voice, heart, breaths like they were in the womb. It could also be "baby blues". Lean on others for support and make sure you're resting and relaxing as much as possible. Take a hot bath. If she FF, have someone take you to the mall or something to get out of the house for a bit. It takes time, and being a new mom for the first or even the 10th time is hard and takes adjusting. Don't be afraid to talk to your family about it.

stemms8810 · June 2012

I agree with PP, she may be picking up on your anxiety and frustration. Sometimes it takes me awhile to soothe my baby too. Have you tried putting your face close to hers and making a "shooshing" noise repeatedly? I have found that usually works for my LO while bouncing up and down gently.

tjkdlhb · June 2012

ditto PPs... do you have a glider or rocking chair? That usually helps when nothing else will.

bornmommy · June 2012

In total agreement with PP and just to let you know, you are not alone! When your LO gets crazy, it helps to have someone relieve you while you go take a shower or a walk and get in a better frame of mind then go back and comfort your baby. Skin to skin is a great way to get the bounding process going.

k8edgerton · June 2012

FyreFlyeRush:
It's probably anxiety. She can sense and pick up on it. Contrary to what Hollywood shows, mom and baby aren't always BFFs right at the get go. You both are getting to know each other. Skin to skin time can help that along. Strip her down to her diaper and snuggle her bare skinned to your bare chest. Cover both of you with a receiving blanket. Stay that way as long as she lets you. If your BF, do a few sessions skin to skin. Talk to her while she's on your chest. She'll hear your voice, heart, breaths like they were in the womb. It could also be "baby blues". Lean on others for support and make sure you're resting and relaxing as much as possible. Take a hot bath. If she FF, have someone take you to the mall or something to get out of the house for a bit. It takes time, and being a new mom for the first or even the 10th time is hard and takes adjusting. Don't be afraid to talk to your family about it.

I agree... Skin to skin may be what you need to build up that bond. I do it every day... I think more for me than her. I love the one on one cuddle time.

tbmadeamistake · June 2012

I agree with what PPs have said. Also, are you using anything with a heavy scent (shower gel, deodorant, perfume)? I found that the first time I showered after birth, LO had the same reaction to me. I didn't smell like Mom anymore. Now I use only lightly or non-scented soaps and deodorant and she's fine.

christinaa722 · June 2012

FyreFlyeRush:
It's probably anxiety. She can sense and pick up on it. Contrary to what Hollywood shows, mom and baby aren't always BFFs right at the get go. You both are getting to know each other. Skin to skin time can help that along. Strip her down to her diaper and snuggle her bare skinned to your bare chest. Cover both of you with a receiving blanket. Stay that way as long as she lets you. If your BF, do a few sessions skin to skin. Talk to her while she's on your chest. She'll hear your voice, heart, breaths like they were in the womb. It could also be "baby blues". Lean on others for support and make sure you're resting and relaxing as much as possible. Take a hot bath. If she FF, have someone take you to the mall or something to get out of the house for a bit. It takes time, and being a new mom for the first or even the 10th time is hard and takes adjusting. Don't be afraid to talk to your family about it.

This. Please don't feel alone.im definitely experiencing some of the woes of motherhood. I thought I would become a mom nd have this immediate bond but it just didn't happen. It really takes time, and please learn to ask for help. I've learned this the hard way and I almost had a total breakdown one afternoon of dealing with DS screaming for hours on end. GL....thoughts and prayers!

Yevettemarie · June 2012

It will get better I promise. I felt the same exact way but after a few weeks we bonded and it got better.I def think it could be just the vibes that you are giving off babies can sense that, not that it is your fault just ask for help please. I had a break down and cried to my fiancee because I thought they had a better bond. I cried for days off and on it was the emotions getting the best of me. Just hang in there:)

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My own baby hates me

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