2nd pregnancy 1st baby shower?

jburdet1 · May 2012

Hello, I lurk here and occasionally post. I have an hypothetical question that I would like answered for future reference.

With my first pregnancy, everything was a complete whirlwind! I graduated, I got married, moved out of state, and had a baby. Moving out of state and other related circumstances, really made it impossible for friends/family to throw a baby shower.

With not being able to have a baby shower my 1st pregnancy, would it be tacky/inappropriate to accept an offer of a shower with a 2nd pregnancy? I am not pregnant as of yet and we are not planning to be for another couple years. TIA!

MelleTX · May 2012

Showers are for first time moms. So, since you are not a first time mom, then no it is not appropriate.

You can have a party to celebrate the baby after he/she is born, or even a small sprinkle (no registries), but a baby shower would be tacky.

If it is gifts you are looking for, then relax, people will give you things anyway. If it's the celebration you missed out on, see above sentence.

laurakaz13 · May 2012

I still think it's tacky.

jburdet1 · May 2012

Thanks, but no I'm not "looking" for gifts. My family helped buy the big items as they did with my sister when she had her first child. Yes, people did give us gifts without a shower for my daughter. I've had family/friends regretfully talk about not having a shower my first pregnancy and offering for the second. I just posted for opinions on whether or not to accept if that became an issue.

mdharris29 · May 2012

If someone offers you a shower to celebate your baby, go for it and have a blast. Really who cares if it is "tacky" it is a freaking baby and they bring joy no matter if you have one or 25.

danieliza1127 · May 2012

I think it depends on the gap between kids. If it's been 5 years or more and someone offers to throw one for you, if you know your family and friends aren't the types to get offended by it, then I think it's okay. If it's just been a couple of years and you know people might find it strange, then don't do it.

danieliza1127 · May 2012

Also, see the two posts directly below yours, they cover the same topic so you might find more answers.

Liz4444 · May 2012

I think you are putting the cart before the horse, here. I would 1) wait until you are actually pregnant again and 2) wait until someone offers, before I start worrying about this.

Carla6394 · May 2012

lol, wow OP you are really covering your bases... you aren't planning on getting pregnant for a few years and you are inquiring about baby showers?

I don't have an issue if someone offers to host a baby shower regardless of years between kids. I personally wouldn't side eye someone for accepting the offer.

My son is going to be 11 and I am pregnant with our second child. A family friend has graciously offerend to host a baby shower (small one) and I am really excited about it, but that being said dh and I have purchased the big ticket items and expect gifts will be small.

Good luck!

Carla

jburdet1 · May 2012

Liz4444:
I think you are putting the cart before the horse, here. I would 1) wait until you are actually pregnant again and 2) wait until someone offers, before I start worrying about this.

Thank you for your comment, but I would appreciate it more if you read the posts before responding.

No, I'm not pregnant. I was asking a hypothetical question for future reference. Also, I've had family members comment about not throwing a shower and casually mention one for "next time" and wanted to know how I should respond.

Liz4444 · May 2012

jburdet1:
Liz4444:
I think you are putting the cart before the horse, here. I would 1) wait until you are actually pregnant again and 2) wait until someone offers, before I start worrying about this.

Thank you for your comment, but I would appreciate it more if you read the posts before responding.

No, I'm not pregnant. I was asking a hypothetical question for future reference. Also, I've had family members comment about not throwing a shower and casually mention one for "next time" and wanted to know how I should respond.

Don't worry, I read your post, I went to college, my reading skills are quite comprehensive. I stand by my post, your baby isn't even a year old and you aren't planning on having another child for a few years... Enjoy the child you have now and wait to worry about this situation if and when it occurs. If, for some reason, people are asking you about a future shower for a hypothetical second child, that's just odd and I'd personally tell them to back off. In fact, when mil brings up my next child that's exactly what I tell her.

jparrish1 · May 2012

Where I live there's a shower every time theres a baby. I say go for it. Who cares if people on the Internet think its tacky. And who cares of someone thinks your asking way to soon:) GL!

Liz4444 · May 2012

jparrish1:
Where I live there's a shower every time theres a baby. I say go for it. Who cares if people on the Internet think its tacky. And who cares of someone thinks your asking way to soon:) GL!

We say to your "face" what your friends and family are saying behind your back.

ecblss · May 2012

My SIL has had 9 babies/7 pregnancies and a shower for each of them. Tacky? No. People love to buy gifts for babies/families and gather together. A shower is a celebration of life. If someone thinks it's tacky then they should not attend.

Liz4444 · May 2012

ecblss:
My SIL has had 9 babies/7 pregnancies and a shower for each of them. Tacky? No. People love to buy gifts for babies/families and gather together. A shower is a celebration of life. If someone thinks it's tacky then they should not attend.

How many cliches can you throw ino 1 post?

jburdet1 · May 2012

Liz4444:
jburdet1:

Liz4444:
I think you are putting the cart before the horse, here. I would 1) wait until you are actually pregnant again and 2) wait until someone offers, before I start worrying about this.

Thank you for your comment, but I would appreciate it more if you read the posts before responding.

No, I'm not pregnant. I was asking a hypothetical question for future reference. Also, I've had family members comment about not throwing a shower and casually mention one for "next time" and wanted to know how I should respond.

Don't worry, I read your post, I went to college, my reading skills are quite comprehensive. I stand by my post, your baby isn't even a year old and you aren't planning on having another child for a few years... Enjoy the child you have now and wait to worry about this situation if and when it occurs. If, for some reason, people are asking you about a future shower for a hypothetical second child, that's just odd and I'd personally tell them to back off. In fact, when mil brings up my next child that's exactly what I tell her.

Thank you, your last two sentences pertained to my situation and addressed my post Big Smile

jparrish1 · May 2012

Liz4444:
jparrish1:
Where I live there's a shower every time theres a baby. I say go for it. Who cares if people on the Internet think its tacky. And who cares of someone thinks your asking way to soon:) GL!

We say to your "face" what your friends and family are saying behind your back.

Actually NO my friends/ family is who usually gives shower. Pretty sure that wouldne like talking behind there own back.

KayaXavier · June 2012

MelleTX:
Showers are for first time moms. So, since you are not a first time mom, then no it is not appropriate.
You can have a party to celebrate the baby after he/she is born, or even a small sprinkle (no registries), but a baby shower would be tacky.
If it is gifts you are looking for, then relax, people will give you things anyway. If it's the celebration you missed out on, see above sentence.

This is not a hard and fast etiquette rule and is much more an issue of regional and cultural differences. I think typically white people in more red state/rural areas seem to feel the strongest about 2nd showers being tacky. In California and other more diverse areas, it would be very odd not to have showers for subsequent babies. In my region and culture, refusing a shower would get the gossip mill going about why you weren't excited about the baby. Bottom line is, people on the Internet can't tell you what is appropriate for your culture, area and social circle. I go to 10+ showers a year for women who already have children so I know what the custom is here. It is extremely ethnocentric and narrow minded to assume that your custom is an across the board rule.

2nd pregnancy 1st baby shower?

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