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Natural Birth
abbyful
member
Very little support? - vent
abbyful
member
Does anybody else get a little down because it seems everyone thinks they are crazy for wanting a natural birth?
DH is very support of me wanting a natural birth, and has gone to all my doctors appointments, Bradley classes, etc.
But everyone else? I try to avoid the subject the best I can, but when it does come up, people just tell me "oh, you'll change your mind once you're in labor" and stuff like that. My mom, who had my sister and I with no pain meds, told me "don't be afraid of the drugs, that's why I waited so long between having you girls, because I was scared of the pain!". DH's mom (who has only had c-sections) told him "at least she can change her mind at the hospital". DH's friends won't tell me to my face they think I'm crazy for not wanting drugs, but they've told DH that.
The only person who has been supportive at all, other than DH, is one woman I work with that has had 4 kids with no pain meds.
Really, why do people automatically start telling me I can't do it? Why can't they remember the line from the movie Bambi "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?
Anybody else feel the same way?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Very little support? - vent
I feel like I could have written this post. I know exactly how you feel. It's really frustrating. I avoid telling people about my plans too because I know they'll think I'm crazy. I'm doing HypnoBirthing and all of my husbands friends/coworkers have told him that it's a big waste of money.
It is really frustrating. Other people can have their babies the way they want, why can't they just respect that I'm going to have my baby the way I want? And stop telling me that I'm going to change my mind. I'm not.
I'm just really looking forward to when I've done it med free and I can say "I told you so!" to the non-believers.
I'm in the same boat as you and PP. I couldn't have written it any better.
I've LOVED the idea of a natural birth since I first founf out I was pregnant. Boyfriend has been very supportive of my decisions, but both of his parents and my mother all judge me for it. They accuse me of putting myself and the baby in some sort of make believe extreme danger. My mom is very much an "I told you so" type of person, and is waiting for me to "change my mind" about the drugs.
I've always been the black sheep (no pun intended), and I know that. Eh, oh well. I look forward to having MY baby MY way with just me and my BF anyway
TBH, those exacts comments helped to motivate me. My SIL and MIL both told me I was nuts and that I couldn't. Guess who got to say "nope, not nuts. It was amazing." And guess who also felt just a little bit bad a** after actually doing what no one believed (except DH and I) that I could?
You can do it.
I get the same kind of comments all the time! When I tell people (MIL, SIL) we are doing natural they always ask me "why would you not want to enjoy your birth and be in pain?" Hello-birth is painful, but it is a pain you can bear if you are emotionally and physically prepared for it. At this point their negative comments just fuel my fire more to have a natural unmedicated birth. My DH fully supports a natural birth and is really into our bradley classes. Plus we hired a doula to help support our birth. Those are the people who will be there during the birth and if they are on board, I know I can do it!
You can do it and once you have you can tell them "It was wonderful and I don't know why people are scared of it."
I often lurk here. I had the exact same situation! My mom had all three c-sections. She didn't really say much one way or the other but my MIL had one vaginal birth with meds and two c-sections. She kept telling me that I had options at the hospital just in case. I think she thought DH was telling me to do it natural. I kept telling her I want this. But the worst of it came from my dad and coworkers. Like PP said, I used as motivation. I had a lot of people to prove wrong. You can do it! In the end it was probably the best thing I have ever done in my life. Giving birth was very memorable and has changed my life in so many good ways. Going natural is just part of the big picture.
Society makes birth to be this horrible experience only bearable with meds. That is a big lie. Good luck!
I'm so sorry to hear that yall are getting so much negative feedback about natural birth. I'm not surprised, my own mother (who birthed me med-free) said I should schedule a c-section if I wanted to have a sex life after baby.
But I digress.
I honestly think a lot of people don't believe in themselves and so they can't believe in others. They don't think they could do it or they had an experienced they weren't prepared for and are scarred from it.
Focus on yourself, believe that other women have done it ( I did it and I'm a woman! ), and remember that if you reach a point where the plan has to change, it's okay and you just do what ever needs to be done to have your baby.
I believe every woman CAN birth med-free, I just don't feel that every woman WANTS to birth med-free and sometimes other peoples choices obscure their ability to support you.
I definitely get where you are coming from. I have experienced a lot of doubt as well and it is frustrating. I do think it's motivating me to want to do it even more though, as other posters have said. My midwife and doula are completely on board, my husband is getting very close, and the rest of them are just...probably never going to come on board. But, you know, they won't be there during labor, so having the three people who do support me there will make all the difference!
I say the same thing, and people usually leave me alone.