daycare - do you think this is rude/strange

KathrynMD · June 2012

DD has been at the same daycare for 3 years. Today, when I dropped her off, none of the regular early morning teachers were there. I recognized a few of the teachers from other rooms and one woman who's some kind of administrator from another location. So, as I brought DD into the room, a totally new teacher talked to DD and said "Oh I love your dress today" and gave her a big hug/tickle/something. DD was happy and comfortable, but the woman didnt' even look at me, make eye contact, nod at me - nothing - let alone actually introduce herself or say hi. And, when she started talking to DD, I paused and looked right at her, waiting to say something, start a conversation.

I don't understand why anyone talks directly to my kid, right in front of me and then doesn't acklowedge me in the conversation. I don't know if she just has shittysocial skills or is jsut rude or if its normal to totally ignore a parent.

mplesset23 · June 2012

This happens all the time at DC when there is a different teacher than usual in the room. It happens every so often when the main teachers are on a break or something. I find it kind of rude, but the important thing is that they treat my LO well. As long as they are doing that, I don't stress over the other stuff as much. Plus, I'm someone who would just start talking to the teacher anyways, I wouldn't wait for her to talk to me if I had something important to tell her.

megann831 · June 2012

it's odd, but you could have just as easily initiated a conversation or introduction

wychets · June 2012

Totally rude. Especially because you do not know her. Should be human nature to speak to someone who is leaving their child with you.

Pesky · June 2012

Okay, I have to vote in the weird/strange/rude camp here. All the teachers talk to me as well as my kid.

KathrynMD · June 2012

megann831:
it's odd, but you could have just as easily initiated a conversation or introduction

I would have - I was waiting for her to look up from DD, but then she turned to someone else and walked away w/ another teacher. It was just odd and I felt dismissed.

financialdiva · June 2012

Odd to me b/c I am a talker BUT I notice a lot of parents at my daycare that just drop off their LO's and take off. Don't even acknowledge the teacher or anything. Same thing with pick up. I like to talk to the teacher and hear about DS's day. But other parents will walk in, pick up their LO, grab the paper and not even say thank you or good bye! So, maybe she thought you were a drop off and bolt type of parent?

NativeNyer · June 2012

I think it's very rude.

This guy at our church does this with my 17 year old son. Totally bypasses me and started talking to my son about mission work, and I'm right there. Has never introduced himself. I felt like saying "he's not going anywhere unless you talk to me first". Weird.

Ms5586 · June 2012

I think it's rude that they don't at least make eye contact, say "Good Morning" and introduce themselves.

The most important part is how they treat LO, but that is a little odd.

SilliRy · June 2012

I would normally think it's rude (and strange) but in thinking about it, the same thing (kind of) happens at drop off for me. In my case though, I think it's because the teachers know that DD will freak out if I hang around, so I just bring her in the room, the teachers engage her right away, and I slip out. Every time I've chatted with the teacher(s) it's made drop off much more stressful for all of us. Maybe the teacher was thinking along those lines?

But yeah...for someone who is new or different in the room, I think it's strange, although maybe not intentionally rude.

madladybride · June 2012

Yes, I think it's strange and rude, especially if you don't know this teacher.

ridesbuttons · June 2012

meh. If it was her first day in the room (first day on the job?) then directing her attention towards her charge instead of you seems ok. Maybe a bit odd, but not rude, IMO.

NBD.

semdkm · June 2012

Thank you for posting this because this has been a big issue for me in the past and others thought I was crazy by being bothered by it. I do have a problem with someone being new and her not making an effort to acknowledge the situation--that you are a new teacher being entrusted with the care of one's child-and introduce yourself to both the parent(s) and child(ren). Our old daycare used to switch caregivers all the time and act like it wasn't a big deal, when it IS. You have my child, she doesn't know you, I don't know you, etc. Introduce yourself! (That said, as soon as I notice even a part-time/"fill in" caregiver at lunchbreaks, whatever, I introduce myself and ask the caregiver's name, which room does she usually supervise, is she new, etc. Yes, I think it's important to know the name of the person caring for my kids, even for 5 minutes).

MrsBalletStar05 · June 2012

ridesbuttons:
meh. If it was her first day in the room (first day on the job?) then directing her attention towards her charge instead of you seems ok. Maybe a bit odd, but not rude, IMO.

NBD.

This is how I feel too.

groovygrl · June 2012

I think it is odd too but noticed at both my last & current daycare (especially the current one) I always have to be the one to ask teachers their names & introduce myself when I really think it should be the other way around. Or I think the lead teacher if present should go out of her way to introduce a new teacher or floater or something but it doesnt seem to happen too often.

Mylittlebee20 · June 2012

Rude. If you didn't know her I would have thought that she would at least introduce herself.

DoughGirl · June 2012

I find that I'm always the one to initiate conversation when there is a new teacher at DS's school. It used to bother me, but after meeting most of the parents, it doesn't surprise me. DH and I have always been the ones to make introductions at the open house nights. It seems like many of the parents just don't care to know their childrens' friends' parents. Strange, but whatever. I just chalk it up to most people having no social grace.

MrsSR · June 2012

It's rude that she didn't say good morning to you, but I don't think it's odd that she didn't introduce herself.

She's probably a floater and have met so many parents she can't keep them straight. Maybe she thought that she's met you already and didn't want to look foolish introducing herself again.

But yeah, she should have greeted you.

twigmommy · June 2012

I think its rude, and a bit unprofessional. At our DC anyone new to us in the room always introduces themselves. They also chat with us a bit about DD. We fill out the top of her day sheet on drop off, but we always talk with her caregivers.

jamdv3 · June 2012

I would find it rude too, but to be honest, I have had a few instances where I felt like my DD's DCP was socially awkward/rude, but it was only towards me, never towards my DD. I think sometimes the best DCP's are so good because they're great with kids and love their jobs, probably because they don't HAVE to interact/work with adults since they're not too great at that. I wouldn't worry too much about it, to be honest.

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