Early bedtimes and working

Janimal · November 2008

DD is just 6 weeks old, and not on a "schedule" yet. But I have been reading about different sleep training techniques and schedules to start working on, and everything I am reading seems to say my baby needs a very early bedtime.

I will go back to work in January fulltime. The thing is, I figure I am likely to start getting home after picking her up around 6pm. DH doesn't get home til 6:45-7. I feel like by the time I feed DD and soothe her to sleep for an early bedtime, we will have hardly any time with her and how the heck do we have time to give her a bath? I feel like DH will have so little time with her during the week.

I would love to hear from working Moms how they handle their schedule...

ali-1411 · November 2008

I'm not sure why she needs such an early bedtime...DD doesn't go down for the night until after 10pm and she just makes up for it by lots of naps during the day.

senecamom · November 2008

DD has a late bedtime, usually 10pm. We don't use daycare, so she doesn't need to be up early. This doesn't work with all babies, but ours is a night owl.

Geb · November 2008

My kids both set their own bedtimes and by 9-10 weeks old were going down between 6:30-7pm each night. I don't mess with bedtimes, I feel like if they're falling asleep for the night at that time then they need it. They both get incredibly cranky too if we try to force them to stay up. The bedtime got later as they got bigger, my 5 year old goes to bed at 8pm and my 1yo goes at 7pm. I WAH a lot and so I don't have to wake them early for daycare. My youngest wakes early on his own, oldest up around 7:30pm.

jennie13 · November 2008

When I was on leave, DD went to bed around 7:30/8 and got up at 6. Daycare wears her out, and sometimes it's a struggle to keep her awake until 7. She still gets up by 6 (sometimes as early as 5:15.) We make this work by working early schedules. (Both of us have flexible hours and we've been doing an early schedule for years to beat traffic.) I get her fed and dressed and have time to play with her if she wakes up early, then my husband brings her to daycare. She's there around 6:45 to 3:45 when he picks her up. I try to get home by 5 so I can have a couple hours with her before bed.

Angela814 · November 2008

DD's bedtime has never been earlier than 8:30pm. I also don't believe in sleep training. We just did a bedtime routine, and depending on the day and how tired she was, it would end between 8:30-9:30pm.

luvmagoldn · November 2008

We get home just before six. Then we eat, do baths and they are in bed by 7:30. Honestly, it used to bother me that I only had a short amount of time with the boys after work. Of course I want to spend more time with them in the evenings but they really need to be in bed early. Children grow while they are sleeping and they need that solid, predictible down time. I had to put my guilt aside and do what I thought was best for my boys.

My SIL always let her kids fall asleep whenever they wanted and they turned in to night owls. That worked fine when they were small but now that her daughter is in kindergarten and her son started preschool, getting them up in the morning is a nightmare for her every morning. Just something to keep in mind.

You mentioned sleep training methods. We used Suzy Giardano to get our boys sleeping through the night. I cannot say enough wonderful things about Suzy as a person and her method. My boys are almost two and they still go to sleep at 7:30. They are in toddler beds now and we don't have issues with them getting out of bed, fighting bedtime, etc. We do our bedtime routine and they go right to sleep. I give Suzy's method all the credit for that. I am a big proponent of sleep training so I wish you luck which ever method you choose.

shouldbeworkin · November 2008

When my DD was taking 2-3 naps a day, she actually went to sleep later. It worked out well b/c she would sleep in until 7:30, allowing me to get up and get ready before she was up. Each time she dropped a nap she would need to go to sleep a little earlier for a few weeks to adjust. But, she was never in bed before 7:30am. Usually that meant she was up earlier in the morning, so we could spend time together then. I would take advantage of flex time during those periods and get in a little earlier so I could leave earlier.

Taylor44 · November 2008

The bedtime will depend on your routine. What time do you want your child to wake in the morning? For me, when I first returned to work, my son was around 10 weeks old. I would wake my son around 5:30 am, feed him, then he would go back to sleep until just before we were ready to leave the house, which was around 8:00 am. Since he was always a good sleeper, he was going to bed pretty early during that time; around 7:00 pm. It was really tough because I felt like I didn't get to spend much time with him. However, sleep is more important for them at that age. I would let him fall asleep in my arms, so I could have some cuddle time anyway. However, as he grew, we settled into an 8:00 bedtime, and he sleeps until 8:00 am, just before we are ready to leave the house. I think you have to evaluate your routine, and pay attention to your childs cues, and then make a plan from there. You don't want to put your child to sleep too early, and then have them wake up while you are still getting ready in the morning. Unfortunately, part of being a working mom requires missing some time with your child.

madhatter2003 · November 2008

I think you have to evaluate your routine, and pay attention to your childs cues, and then make a plan from there. You don't want to put your child to sleep too early, and then have them wake up while you are still getting ready in the morning. Unfortunately, part of being a working mom requires missing some time with your child.

Ditto this. You'll just have to figure out what works for you. I put my DD to bed around 7:30 or 8, but when she was little she still woke up to nurse a couple times a night and that was our 'bonding' time to a large extent. It does suck that some nights you barely see them it feels, but that's just life. And you'll get time on weekends and in the morning, etc.

Shaina · November 2008

JANIMAL!!!!!!!

First of all--SO GOOD TO SEE YOU and MAZEL TOV on your beautiful daughter!! OMG!!!! How do you love being a mom??? I have missed you and was thinking of you! I am not on the boards so much anymore but so so glad to see you and hope we stay in touch!

So, I felt the same way you did before I went back to work--I am back now a month. Actually, I really like being back--I miss my girls but the 'break' is GREAT! LOL So, ditto to a lot of what pp's wrote. First, you have to try to read your baby's cues...my girls also get really tired and cranky around 7/7:30 so we start the night routine around 6. We have a live-in nanny so they do not have to be up at a specific time but they are now starting to wake up at 6/7 am on their own. (Tomorrow they are 16 weeks old!!!!!!!!) I get hone around 5:45 and DH gets home anywhere from 6-7:30. Yes, it does suck not to have much time with them during the week at night...but it is part of being aworking mom. I try to make up for it on the weekends big time! So, we do bath, bottle, book, bed from 6-7:30 pm. As they have gotten better with schedules now that they are 4 months old. We actually 'put' them on a schedule early on b/c it's twins and I knew I was going back to work and boy was that a great idea b/c by the time I did go back to work, they were familiar and comfortable with it. Basically, they get up anywhere from 6-7 am. Eat, play for an hour or so on playmat or with other toys, then nap--they eat every four hours. They don't have a prob usually going down by 7:30 pm. We wake them up at 11pm to eat again and then they both usually sleep through the night already. I am getting used to this schedule. Yes, there are some nights that DH doeasn't see them. It sucks but you do the best you can and again, make the most of your time on the weekend!

SO good to 'see' you! :-)

Jaylea · November 2008

Just follow your baby's cues. If she starts getting tired, put her in bed. There's no need for a set time at such a young time. As it is, my daughter's bedtime varies within about a 1/2 hour.

mrsmikey · November 2008

It is hard, but that just goes with the territory of being a working mom. DS is in bed by 8 at the very latest. It depends on his naps. Sometimes he needs a nap as soon as we get home, other times he doesn't. If he doesn't nap, then he's in bed by 6:30 or 7. It does suck, and is really hard to get him dinner and a bath before he passes out. So alot of nights he just doesn't get a bath. You will learn quickly that it does not pay off to try to keep them up longer. You just have to learn to deal with whatever bedtime works for them.

lbw05 · November 2008

I'm no expert, it's only my 3rd day back at work and we've only had 2 nights of an attempted "schedule". DH picks the baby up from daycare at 5:30 and then I'm not home until 6:30. I breastfeed right when I get home, during which time DH cooks dinner (which is perfect because he is the cook anyway.) Then we eat dinner, and DC is still at the "fussy in the evening" stage so we either have to trade off eating/holding the baby, or he will entertain himself in the bouncy chair or whatever. Then when dinner's done we attempt to play or read books, but again it all depends on his mood. (looking forward to when this fussy time will go away!) Anyway, last night we did a bath at 8, then hung out for a bit, then I breastfed him at 8:30 and he was asleep by 9. It works well for us. But again, it's only been 2 nights so we'll see what happens!

molldoll71 · November 2008

That's why we picked 8:00 and he generally goes down between 8 - 8:30 each night. It worked for us. In the beginning he was all over the place - I wouldn't worry toomuch until he gets closer to one about picking a bed time.

bridetobe0jb · November 2008

While on leave and went I first went back to work 3 days a week, DD went to bed about 7pm. Once I went back to work 5 days a wk (she was about 9mos), we slowly (in 15 min increments) pushed her bedtime back to 8pm to get more time to get in the bath, etc. every night.

Melissa2004 · November 2008

I wake dd up at 5:30a so I can get to work on time at 7a. In order for dd to get enough sleep, we put her to bed at 7:15ish. I pick her up from dc at 5p and we eat dinner as soon as we get home. We eat early b/c if we want closer to her bedtime, she is more tired and fussy.

We start her bath at 7p and put her to bed right after that. It is hard sometimes because even something as quick as running to the store for something quick messes my schedule up.

The important thing is that from 5p - 7p it is all about dd. We don't worry about anything else except playing with her and having time with her.

It's hard but it gets easier over time. Just remember - It's quality and not the quantity!

GL!
Melissa

LanaM · November 2008

My DS2 can't stay awake too late. He gets cranky, tired and I feel bad keeping him up. I pick him up around 6pm and he's usually done with his dinner, bath and evening bottle by 7:15 and sleeping most nights by then or 7:30pm. DH gets home at 7. He sees him in the morning, but most nights DS2 is already sleeping or 1/2 asleep when DH gets home.

I see DS2 even less probably. I leave when he's still sleeping and see him at night for an hour, of which most of the time is spent getting him to bed.

sucks.

Ethan always had an early bedtime too, that's how he was. Not until a year ago or so did he start going to bed at 8:30-9pm.

Want a personalized experience?

Early bedtimes and working

Re: Early bedtimes and working

Choose Another Board

Search Boards