My BFF is Prego and she wasn't even trying sorry if the news isnt making me jump for joy! (long)

OLIVEGIR0610 · June 2012

Sorry all i need to vent and ask for some words of wisdom. A little quick history me and DH have been having TTTC for 4 years and this has been no secret from my BFF. My BFF has been married for 2 years and has been quite verbal about not being ready for children for a long while. She has stated this over and over again due to her not being where she wants to be career wise yet she wanted to wait a couple years.

Lets fast foward to Monday (memorial day ) BFF her DH and me and my DH are cooking out and sharing the day together. I happen to notice she isnt consuming an alcoholic beverage , which is out of character so i ask "why arent you drinking today " Well the look on her face gave me my answer right away. I said " your pregnant arent you"? So that was pretty much an awefull day of me crying in hysterics and taking a good mood and shooting it right down the tubes.

Heres where i need help...... Come to find out she and her DH have been TTC for 3 months and never told me that she went off the pill 6 months ago and that she and he have been trying for 3 months. Now some of you who are more private and tight lipped about personal things such as TTC might think this isnt any of my business but......She and i have no secrets! The four of us are inseperable and share every thought or next move. She didnt tell me because she was scared to but now i find out by accident this way which was a SHOCKING bad way to find out. I'm bitter now I feel that if she loved me she could have told me they where trying and this news would have been anticipated. Now I'm left hurt. Can someone tell me , would you be hurt too in my situation or am I being completely wrong here to feel upset. Just looking for some other takes on this.

The friendship will not be ruined and I will get to the happy joy place of a supportive friend soon i'm sure I just need space and time ....

kmc84 · June 2012

Well that's a kick in the crotch alright! I'm sorry she kept TTC a secret from you. I guess I can see where maybe she really didn't know if it was better to tell you or to keep it to herself. If your relationship is how you describe it I think she should have told you they were going to start TTC. I'm sorry you were hurt by a friend but I guess no one is perfect and we all make bad judgement calls sometimes. Take some space but try not to be bitter; it sounds like you already know that though:-). ((hugs))

OLIVEGIR0610 · June 2012

THANK YOU! esp. for the (hugs) i appreciate your insight

Laurakat81 · June 2012

Ugh, that does suck. I prefer for my friends to just give me a heads up too. I know they don't "have to" but it helps to just be mentally prepared for it when they start ttc. I've also told them that I want them to tell me via text when they do get pregnant...that way I can have my meltdown.

I'm sorry you had to find out that way. I'm going through something similar with an old friend. Right after she was married we were discussing my losses and she mentioned that they planned on ttc at their one year anniversary and I just used that as the perfect time to tell her that when she got that BFP to just text me when she was ready and explained why. She 'was very understanding. But truthfully being that it was a year ago I truly thought I'd beat her to it and it wouldn't be quite a big deal anymore. Yeah, not so much. They started TTC in February. She's about 11 weeks now. And I'm still not pregnant.

She did text me but I still found out just like you weeks before that when she wasn't drinking at a bachelorette party. It pretty much ruined my evening just thinking about it that night. A few weeks later I got the text and I still had a long, ugly cry.

I'm so grateful she has a healthy pregnancy and baby and that she didn't have any trouble conceiving but I'm so heartbroken that I don't have those things. (((HUGS)))

OLIVEGIR0610 · June 2012

Agreed! That will be the discussion once I'm over this shock hump. I believe HONEST is the best policy even when it comes to hurt feelings and real life issues so i will be getting deep down to it with her soon ...Based on my initial reaction and me being distant this week while she texts me hugs and love you everyday I'm thinking she knows she f-ed up and feels bad..... I am happy for them , i really am! babies are a blessing and exciting but i am sad for me and my dh....:(

thanks a bunch for taking the time

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My BFF is Prego and she wasn't even trying sorry if the news isnt making me jump for joy! (long)

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