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Artemis0685 · June 2012

Hey ladies!

My DH and I are expecting our third and last baby this November, I am almost 15wks along. We've had hospital births for our girls and always wanted a natural experience, we both strongly believe in the benefits of it and he's always encouraged me but hospital births make it very difficult to have a NB.

With my first I was completely scared into getting an epi, OB was telling us that I'm putting my baby at risk by not getting one because I could possibly need an emergency c/s. Everything up to that point was going smooth, so I have no idea why he would say that. When hubby tried speaking up for me he was scolded because "he's not the one going through this".

Second baby I was induced at 38 wks because my BP was going up, but no preeclampsia though. At 8cm I asked for the epi because it seemed like my contractions were one constant, never ending contraction. I was hooked up to every machine possible with an IV and I couldn't move from the bed and it ws just torture. If I got into a comfy position they would have me lay down again because the machine couldn't pick up my DDs heartbeat....GRRR!!! I dilated to 10cm while getting my epi and started pushing as soon as she was done, so I felt everything and was completely numb after the baby was born.

Well, today we have a tour at my local birthing center. My DH is all for it but I did ask him about a home birth and he said he's not comfortable with it because it doesn't seem as safe as the birth center. He feels like the birth center is equiped for this kind of thing and our home isn't, plus they're close to a hospital in case we need a transfer. I hope that the MW can educate him enough so he's comfortable with the idea of a home birth, but I'll be happy with a birth center as well.

Anybody else's DH nervous about a home birth?

bornmommy · June 2012

I just had my baby naturally in a hospital I wanted to tell you that my experience was amazing. I think the most important thing for a natural birth, whether in the hospital, at home, or in a birthing center, is your birth team. I was thinking that the next would be a home birth but after my experience, If we are still in the area for our second child, it will absolutely go back to the same hospital.

LaurelBee · June 2012

If you are truly considering a HB, make an apt to meet with a HB midwife. We just met with ours yesterday and my H went from "No, absolutely not." to "We can talk about it." to "Yes, as long as you have a normal and healthy pregnancy."

But a birth center would be a great compramise too!

lilyaster · June 2012

I think it's completely normal to be nervous about trying a home birth- DH and I felt the same way the first time, wouldn't consider home birth but an out of hospital birth center seemed like a good choice, and it was. With our second we had to choose between home birth and hospital, and after interviewing the midwife and educating ourselves, we learned that the HB midwife carried all the same drugs and emergency supplies that the birth center had, and we felt comfortable birthing at home knowing they are trained to look for any signs of things going wrong. I was so relaxed at home that it was a quick and pretty easy birth. Even though I started to hemmorhage afterwards (didn't actually, it stopped quickly but still scary) it was handled and treated very well and I had no problems. This time we're in a different state and going for another homebirth. My mindset this time is that we'll stay at home as long as we're comfortable and things are going well. If that's for the whole birth, great, and if not, that's what the hospital is there for. Good luck whatever you decide!

jandb2011 · June 2012

If our insurance would cover it, my husband and I would be all for a home birth. Since it doesn't, we're doing an in-hospital, birth center with a CNM. I'm perfectly okay with it...especially since I still get my waterbirth. The only thing I'm a little bummed about, is that I will have to stay for 24hrs, after she's born. My MW knows I want to leave as soon as possible though, so as long as everything is good, she's willing to work with me a little on that.

Most out-of-hospital birth centers only monitor you for a few hours after and then you get you head home to rest and recover. I would say it's a good compromise, if your DH isn't willing to consider a home birth. In reality, if he's comfortable with a birth center and you don't live too far from a hospital (in case there's an emergency), he would probably be fine with a home birth, once he got more information and realizes that everything you would have at a birth center, you would also end up having at your home.

vintagejjane · June 2012

My husband was nervous when I mentioned home birth. Then we watched Business of Being Born and met with a HB midwife and then he was sold. We talked about it now and he said he loved that I was at home and able to move around during contractions and pretty much do what I want, because it made me more relaxed which made him more relaxed.

J <3 D · June 2012

I would definitely have nervous family members, but we are all in the medical field and tend to go to the what ifs. Ultimately I asked myself if I could live with myself if something went wrong at home and it could have been different in hospital. Good luck in finding peace with the decision you make

pinksweetpea2 · June 2012

I would have him meet with a HBMW. There is nothing at a birth center that they won't have with them at a homebirth and birth centers are no safer than homebirths attended by qualified MWs.

If you really want a homebirth, then make sure your DH is provided with all the information and has all his fears addressed before giving up on the idea.

GL

kimberly422 · June 2012

My husband is iffy about a birth not in a hospital. At the same time he supports my decision to have a natural birth. I would really like to be in a birthing center. Hopefully the more we prepare, the more he will see how the birthing center will make things allot easier. *fingers crossed*

Artemis0685 · June 2012

UPDATE:

I hated the place so did DH. As soon as we got there our first impression wasn't the greatest, the place looked like a tiny, really really old dirty house. Walking inside it didn't get any better and the staff was so cold. I just got a really bad vibe. It sucks because this was the closest birthing center in our area and it's a 30min drive, the others are twice as far and I don't want to drive for an hour while in labor.

Now I just have to educate DH a little on HBs and try to find a MW in our area. If not, I'll go with a natural hospital birth and have a very serious talk with my OB about having as little intervention as possible.

I've been reading a lot of good natural hospital birth stories here and that's giving me hope

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