Is it just me?
DH and I haven't really been very intimate lately, yes maybe once every OTHER week, and my hormones are still CRAZY and my sex drive is BEYOND overwhelming.
DH just seems to be very selfish recently, all he does is come home from work and sit around on the couch, I feel like I'm doing everything alone and that DH and I are just not seeing eye to eye. Even when I try to initiate sexy time, he seems disinterested and that really just makes me feel unattractive.
I guess I feel like he isn't helping at all. I yelled at him today about leaving his f'ing socks in the living room floor, there's a f'ing hamper in the bathroom, its not like I expect him to do the laundry or wash the dishes (since that would take an act of god).
I don't ask him to do alot because he doesn't do it the way I want him to, he does it the wrong way..or a way that rakes on my nerves... (I'm OCD but it's getting better)
Anyone else's hubs not helping out as much as you would like?
How about your love lives?
Please tell me I'm not the only one.
((REVISION:: I don't YELL at my husband all the time and I sure as hell don't put him down. Today was the FIRST time I have yelled at him over something small, I was irritated because I had JUST cleaned the house so that my MIL wouldn't make snide comments the whole time she would be here. So yeah I think I will "rethink" the way I speak to him.))
Re: Is it just me?
Maybe he isn't interested in sex because you tell at him to pick up his f'ing whatever. And maybe he doesn't help out around the house because he doesn't do anything the right way. Maybe try approaching things a different way. Instead of yelling at him and putting him down try some positivity FFS.
Just a thought.
Georgia 3/15/2012 Matilda 6/12/2014 TWINS!! Babies 3&4 EDD 11/22/2016
Having a baby is an emotional time not just for moms, but for dads as well. Is he no helping with baby related things? If not, he may feel like he doesn't know how to take care of a baby.
I would ask a friend to watch baby for an hour while you and DH have a heart to heart. Calmly state that you are feeling overwhelmed and need his help. Think of some positive things DH can do that meet your standards. Discuss ways in which DH Take care of certain responsibilities.
Thank You, and he helps, he just doesn't help as much as he did when DD was first born. I've been struggling with PPD since 8weeks after DD was born, and I try not to be overly judgmental with DH when he does help, its when I've already done something and he goes back and messes with it that I get upset. Everything has its place and everything in its place. I'm not so OCD that I get manic or anything, I just need some organization when it comes to certain things. (Like my literature, its in order by Author and by series, his friends think its hysterical to come over and rearrange my books and see how long it takes me to realize that they have moved them around.)
But I agree, DH and I need to sit down and have a heart to heart so that I can tell him he does do a great job and he is a fantastic father, but that I do need more help around the house during the week when I'm in class and he's off work.
I just wrote about this same thing yesterday but not in as much detail (see post Am I normal?)
I think it is just hormones because sometimes he doesn't bother me at all. And I can also tell that if I'm frustrating at other things (like his mother coming to babysit or visit) then I take it out on him. He and I planned a date night without the baby so we could hang out and talk. We went for a walk downtown to a restaurant. The walking helps increase endorphines and gave us more time to talk.
I realized after talking to him, that it's a big change for him too and I just needed to be understanding with him. Also, about the sex thing - Lord knows it's completely different than before. Don't stress about it and maybe plan something special for him during your date night. And tell him what you're going to do early that morning (the anticipation is killer)
Hope my situation helps you too, because I feel your pain! Hugs and much love!
At least your DH will touch you. Mine won't even consider sexy time.
I also feel like I have to do it all. I asked him this week to please skip playing hockey so that I can get some stuff packed for our trip this weekend and he gave me crap. He gets Adult time with the guys every week and I have yet to have any girl time since my lo has been born. I fing do it all. To top it all off I am the bread winner in the family. UGH!
One of my closest friends and I have babies 1 week apart. My sister's first LO is 2 1/2 months younger. Not a week goes by that both of them don't call me to "discuss" our husbands, who are all good guys.
Still, they do goofy things like complaining about how tired they are when all of us are breastfeeding so none of the dads are doing nightly feedings. I see/hear about lots of guys who again, while are good husbands and dads, they just don't have the attention to details that most women do.
I'll come home, jump over a pile of laundry, walk past the stinking tower of trash, and open the cabinet to find no clean cups, and DH is zoned out in front of the tv. I can be like, could you fold some laundry/take the trash out/unload the dishwasher and he'll say "I didn't notice it needed to be done." For so many of the women I know, it seems to be universal!
I think striving for good communication and discussing expectations save lots of stress right now. Good luck!