Moms who have babies who have only ever fallen asleep by nursing, being held or otherwise needing Mom to get to sleep will understand this feeling. I have never been able to put DS to sleep without nursing him at night (up to 45 minutes, even at almost 5 months) and then waiting another 20 minutes for him to be so sound asleep that I can put him down and sneak out without him knowing and stay asleep at best for 3 hours, then repeat 2-4 more times throughout the night. His naps were always only successful if he slept on me after nursing.
I was open to CIO but ready to abort if it was too tough on DS. It was a total success right away. He cried less than a toal of 12 minutes the first night, less than 1 minute last night and no crying tonight. Naps were just as successful.
So why am I the one walking out of his room, him sound asleep on his own in his crib, crying? For 4 months, I dreamed of the day that I could put him down and he could sleep on his own. Now that he is doing just that, I'm missing all the time I held him in my arms while he slept so peacefully. The fact that I'm going back to work in 2 weeks I'm sure is making this harder, and I know that it's best for him that he can put himself to sleep. But it is SO bittersweet. If I'm so upset about this...I can only imagine what a mess I'm going to be at other maturing milestones.
This is the kind of stuff that no parenting book can prepare you for.
Re: CIO Success...But I'm the one crying...
Agreed! I always wear him when I'm out and about...that was another way he would nap, either on me or in the Bjorn.
I kept the entire bedtime routine the same, nursed him as usual and then laid him right down in the crib. I didn't separate nursing at all. I put him down on his side because that is the way he likes to sleep when he is in bed with us. He cried as soon as he realized he was in his crib, then he fussed until he finally got himself on his tummy. At that point, he was immediately silent and didn't move for 4 hours. Of course, I stared at the monitor the entire time and still went in to check on him 3 times just to make sure he was ok.