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Auntie-Bullying

mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
in Special Needs

Do you have any resources to help a child being bullied?  We've been dealing with a kid for all of Matthew's preschool experience and now his entire kindergarten year.  I have talked back and forth with the principal and filed the official "bully" form.  The principal is being a bully himself (IMO)and telling me that I'm asking for too much when what I am asking for what is going on to be called bullying, Matthew to have a shadow during the bus dismissal time, for the child to apologize and get the help he needs.  This child has called Matthew a "sh-ithead" told him to have a "sh-itty day", told him he has "diarrhea breath" and the newest one was to get nose to nose with Matthew and scream in his face that he was stupid.  There are many more examples than that but it is happening every several weeks.  The school has had documentation based on the bus aid's write ups, my e-mails back and forth to the principal about it, etc.

I told Matthew to walk away and tell a teacher but if the school won't do anything about it what else can I tell him? 

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Re: Auntie-Bullying

  • mommyof4boysmommyof4boys member
    image-auntie-:

    I am so sorry you are living this.

    This can be a really hard one to finesse in the primary grades. Nasty trash talk is bullying to be sure, but at this age the bar is low for compliance around better behavior. Especially if the bully in question brings his own issues to the party.

    Ideally you work with your district's SEPTA or a local support group to bring your concerns to the principal and work up the food chain. Bring a group or an advocate helps. One strategy is to cite their own policy on diversity/anti-bullying on them. You can usually find this in a student handbook or on their website when looking for a definition.

    It would be useful to lobby for a more effective anti-bullying curriculum. This one is considered the best out there by a lot of people-

    https://www.clemson.edu/olweus/

    Our elementary school is also doing "restorative practices" as well.

    https://www.iirp.edu/

    Teachers I know and respect favor the restorative practices.

     

    I am co-president of our Parent Advisory Council so I did write letters today to the director of special ed and the supervisor of elementary schools with special ed.  I also addressed the superintendent and school board.  I cited the NJ state law on bullying and asked them to provide the documentation as to how they came to the decision that this was a code of conduct issue and not a bully issue.  According to the law, it is a bully issue.  

     The bully in question is typical.  I know we have a lifetime of this but I really didn't think it would start this early :( I am going to be going to the next school board meeting and was told we were to go to a private school board meeting to discuss this with them as well.  I am going to be asking revamp their Life Skills curriculum to include more bullying help within it.  They use "Life Skills" as things like friendship, not smoking/drinking etc.   

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