Advice for DH to help with night time wake ups?

aliska · May 2012

DD doesn't sleep. She wakes up every 2-3 hours. Sometimes it gets better for a few days, but then it goes back to being awful. I work 2 jobs, and DH works as well. I am losing my mind. I have a constant headache, I am nodding off at work, I am irritable and am yelling at DH all of the time for no reason, I get dizzy when I stand up, and feel sore all over. I am so afraid that I will fall asleep at the wheel. I'm unsure how to cope with the lack of sleep.

DD will only go back down if she nurses (sometimes it only takes 5 minutes), but if we try CIO or try having DH comfort her, then she is up for 2 hours. She falls asleep easily. We have a set bed time and set night time routine. She just won't stay asleep, and it is killing me. Have any of you found a way for DH to comfort your nursing baby back to sleep? DH wants to help, but DD only wants me.

arevans31 · May 2012

Im no help I have the same exact problem. My DD is a year now and I'm completely exhausted. I think I'm just going to have to deal with her CIO and see if she will figure out how to fall asleep on her own. Good luck.

pam1005 · May 2012

My DH works a ton, so I have been the one to deal with DD (he does help with DS a lot though). I say sleep train. At this age I don't feel that waking every 2/3 hours is appropriate. I swore I would never do CIO with DS, but at 8 months we had to. DD is more strong willed than DS, so we had to do it at 6 months and just did it again at 11 months. I read several books and chose the method that was best for us. DH and I did it both together, although if your LO is only used to you I am not sure what the best route would be (for you to just do it, or both of you). Good luck.

nbbride06 · May 2012

CIO does work. You just have to be consistent. And yes, the first night can be well over an hour. For us, the first was 1.75 hours, the second was 45 minutes, and since then we've been good. A couple weeks ago she was teething so I obviously got up with her. It took a few nights to get back to where we were but it is soooo worth it. You DD is just used to waking. You, DD and DH all need sleep. Sleep training...do it.

fcp1234 · May 2012

I dont breastfeed, so take my word for what's worth..

We used to have the same problem with the bottle, DS didnt go back to sleep without a bottle, day or night. We stopped giving him any bottles a few months ago and let him cry. The first week was horrible...I had to go outside so I couldnt hear him. It got better though. There are still nights he wakes up, like last night..he cried for 3 mins then fell asleep. We havent gone in his bedroom when he wakes up the past few months. We just listen to make sure that he is not throwing up or something, but we dont go in... Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. We both work full time and we were not the loving parents we are supposed to be when we were up every two hours...

BeatriceCat · May 2012

I had the same problem with DS, and was so opposed to CIO. That is, until we tried it. I know it doesn't work as well for all babies, and some people are opposed to it in principal (like I was). But, after months of no sleep somehting had to give.

We took one weekend a few months ago and did the Ferber method. It is not as bad as I thought it would be as you are still allowed to comfort your baby every few minutes (in ever longer intervals). Our first night was about 50 minutes of crying (much less than I expected, I was certain he would cry all night), second night 20 mintues, and after that just a wimper or two and he was asleep. We would rock him until he was very drowsy, and then lay him down. He is great at night now, with night wakings few and far between (no more night nursings at all), and when he does wake at night he can usually put himself back to sleep within a minute or two. It is worth it, and will make for a happier momma, daddy, and baby. Good luck to you!

aliska · May 2012

Thanks ladies! I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and tried it for a week. It was a lot of crying. DD was very frustrated. I picked up Ferber from the library, and it was like she knew it was in the house. She started only waking 1-2 times a night for 3 nights in a row! So I returned the book...and she went back to waking every 2-3 hours. Maybe I just need to keep the book on the shelf?

fcp1234 · May 2012

aliska:
Thanks ladies! I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and tried it for a week. It was a lot of crying. DD was very frustrated. I picked up Ferber from the library, and it was like she knew it was in the house. She started only waking 1-2 times a night for 3 nights in a row! So I returned the book...and she went back to waking every 2-3 hours. Maybe I just need to keep the book on the shelf?

I would still read the book, it has alot of good information.

camedowncrushing · May 2012

We have/had the same problem. DD would get so mad if DH went in to try to soothe her when she woke. It would backfire on us, and she would get so upset. I read Ferber. I decided I wasn't ready to actually ferberize her, but I did what the book suggested with cutting back night time feedings. Once she was down to once a night to feed she was willing to allow DH to soothe her if she woke up earlier than it was allowed for a feeding. I still allow her to nurse once a night, but not before midnight. All other wake ups get DH or I soothing her back to sleep by walking/rocking. Her sleep has really improved. It was tough the first couple of nights, but we got through it.

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