TTC After a Loss
jenn0021
member
Options
Think Out Loud Thursday
jenn0021
member
I don't know who usually posts this so sorry if I'm stepping on any toes. There was just a request and I'm following through...
Tell us what you're thinking but wouldn't normally say out loud. And go!
Started TTC June 2010
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
BFP #1 07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
TTA for 7 months
Jan-Mar 2014 - RPL, SHG, karotyping: all results normal
TTC Again May 2014
Progesterone & baby aspirin combo for 5 cycles - All BFN's
SA with DNA fragmentation = Perfect results
Diagnostic cycle monitoring = Polycystic ovaries leading to premature egg release
TTA Oct 2014 - Jan 2015
Jan 2015 - Medicated cycle with timed intercourse
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Think Out Loud Thursday
:: Dear friend..
I really am happy for you, and I really do like to hear your updates...like the one you gave me today about everything measuring on track and the heartbeat being 117. But..it still feels like a knife twisting in my heart ::
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Oh my god this. Got an email today from a friend about her "big ultrasound" and it's a girl, and while I'm so happy for her, I wish she would have waited till Monday when AF is gone because it feels like a knife. And I tell myself "how could she have known I got AF yesterday". But damn, why does it have to hurt so bad when I really wish I could just be happy for her.
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
mmmm....
נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
TTC Since September 2011
BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
Oh.My.God. How do you handle it? I think I would have to shut off my phone and become a hermit. Or move to a deserted island. Or get therapy...I'm thinking I should maybe do that anyway. But damn that has to suck so bad
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
Thanks, I'll try to remember that! I should maybe get it tattoed on my forehead or something. *sigh*
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
I just have ONE friend preg. and I'm avoiding her like the plague - I couldn't even imagine that many!! = I think I even said to DH, "at least we don't have a bunch of friends who are having kids yet..."
and to this friend who's preg - "yes I'm excited for you, but right now my loss is more important to me than your pregnancy, so I am putting myself FIRST until I feel ready to deal with you."
ETA - wording, spelling - and that actually felt really good to get out
Marriage: 10/02/2010
BFP#1 : 03.2012........MMC + D&C : 05.2012
The Buggy List blog
Dear DH:
I am mad as hell that you are leaving for the first 6 months of our marriage. I am mad as hell that it will be that long before we really get to try again to have a baby. Since AF has yet to show up and I'm scared to take Provera as we haven't exactly been TC/TA on the off chance some miracle happens. I hate that if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again, I won't be anywhere near my family and friends. I'm mad as hell that you would rather spend time with everyone else BUT me before you leave. Basicially, I'm just mad. And I don't know what to do or say about it. I can't tell you any of this because I don't want to fight.
Love,
Your Wife
Dear Coworkers (whom I have worked with for almost 2 years, many of whom are female)-
Thanks for not pointing out the fact that my bra has been CLEARLY visible through my cami all morning. I admit I was sleepy and bleary-eyed when I got dressed, but a "hey, maybe you should button your cardigan" would have been appreciated before I met with our CFO.
Yeah...
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29
***All AL always welcome***
Dear DH: I'm truly happy that you finally found your birth mother, but I'm not emotionally ready to meet her. It's going to be stamped in my brain forever that the day you finally got to talk to her is the day I started bleeding and we found out that LO stopped growing. I will never be able to separate those two events. Ever.
Dear pregnant friend: Thank you so much for your support. Somehow you have found the exact balance between being there and giving space. I want to hear all about your pregnancy when you start talking to me about it again, but I'm scared I will always look at your LO and hurt b/c I'm trying to picture our LO at that age.
Dear employee -
When I asked you today to run a meeting for me because I had an urgent issue come up, I lied. I just didn't feel like going to the meeting and frankly, I'm in charge so that's how it works. Sorry.
PS - At least you're getting brownie points for it.
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
BFP 07/27/2012 - Beta 1 - 169 @ 11 DPO, Beta 2 - 419 @ 13 DPO, DD Born on 04/04/2013.
AL Always Welcome
And cue the high five in the face with a chair...
Sorry--fluck off for reals!!
((hugs))
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29
***All AL always welcome***
Oh jeez. Apparently she has no clue what a miscarriage entails if she thinks it's something you could be confused about having had or not had. I would have said something snarky like, "Hey you're right! Maybe I am still knocked up! Let me go buy some nursery furniture right now! So glad you're here to set me straight."
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
That deserves a throat punch.
BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12
BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13
That deserves a throat punch.
BFP#1 11/12/11 ~ No heartbeat 12/12/11 ~ D&C 12/19/11
BFP#2 3/25/12 ~ Heartbeat 141 4/16/12 ~ No heartbeat 4/25/12 ~ D&C 04/30/12
BFP#3 7/16/12 ~ EDD 3/26/13 ~ It's a BOY ~ DOB 2/26/13
Oh, my God. This takes the cake. I'm sorry she's so stupid.
BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
Dear body -
For the first time is almost 5 months, I woke up wanting to be pregnant again and not fearing the possibility of another loss. So, seriously, this lack of AF needs to stop and you need to get your $hit together. I have 2-3 months left of my forced TTA time, so you should have plenty of time to start acting right. If not, we are going to have some problems.
Sincerely,
Your Owner
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
Dear BFF who is currectly 15 weks pg-
Yes I think you are stupid for snorkeling in Belize while pg, but I think you are even more stupid for not calling your OB about the huge rash on your leg that appeared the morning after snorkeling. It's been over a week, the rash has gotten bigger and you still haven't called about that. And please do not complain to me about having to have more bloodwork done next week at your OB's office. I just had a fallopian tube removed, 3 liters of a stranger's blood pumped into my body, multiple IVs and will be having blood drawn for the next who knows how many weeks to make sure they didn't miss anything during surgery, you know since it's very difficult to see everything through 2 liters of blood pooling in my abdomin.
BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
My Blog
My Sweet (and Spoiled) Furbaby Cali
PgAL/PAL Welcome
Is she stupid for snorkeling generally or stupid for snorkeling in Belize? Just curious as I was born and raised in that country!
BFP 07/27/2012 - Beta 1 - 169 @ 11 DPO, Beta 2 - 419 @ 13 DPO, DD Born on 04/04/2013.
AL Always Welcome
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***
Dear second cousin,
Get a suitable apartment, get a job and take care of your baby. Visiting it in foster care is not enough. That is your baby, not the government's. It's your responsibility, no-one else's. By that baby's first birthday, they will take your rights away and adopt him out. Smarten up!
(I know, I have so rage right now)
BFP #1 - 01/12/12, EDD 09/12/12, Medical Induction @ 21 weeks 05/03/12
BFP #2 - 10/30/12, EDD 07/04/13, Natural m/c @ 5 weeks 11/01/12
BFP #3 - 02/07/13, EDD 10/12/13
Dx: Incompotent Cervix
I have no issue with where she was snorkeling, I just have an issue with the snorkeling...and then complaining to me about the rash. Don't freaking complain to me while I'm busy recovering from emergency surgery where I almost died.
BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
My Blog
My Sweet (and Spoiled) Furbaby Cali
PgAL/PAL Welcome
Dear Hater,
I will admit...I do get down sometimes when I think about certain things in my life. And for a while I was suicidial, I won't front. And then I think about my husband and how I couldn't leave him. And I think about my close friends and family, who would be devastated and I couldn't leave them.
But most importantly, I think about you, Hater. I think about how you would show up to my funeral and act like we were best friends and shiiit when you know that's a damn lie. And then I think about how you wouldn't return calls or texts but all of a sudden, you're sitting around my family acting like you and I go way back. And then I think about all the times I told you about my plans and you brushed them off like they weren't anything.
So Hater, sorry to burst your bubble but I'm staying alive. Not for religious reasons, not because of the love for my husband. No. I'm staying alive solely JUST TO PISS YOU OFF. And what's awesome about this, Hater...is that I'm going to be so successful, you'll be furious at the fact you let our relationship slip through your fingers.
Fcuk you,
foxxy.
Completely agree with ya!!!
BFP 07/27/2012 - Beta 1 - 169 @ 11 DPO, Beta 2 - 419 @ 13 DPO, DD Born on 04/04/2013.
AL Always Welcome
My DH is military and left on a 4 month deployment a couple of months after our wedding too. The bright side was we BDed ALOT when he came home and I got pg pretty quick. It didn't stick though, but I was so happy he was home for all the crappy stuff!
He's been on 3 deployments in the past 2 years and both of us are so stressed right before he leaves that we end up being really snippy with each other...the booklet I got says it's normal apparently...lol
D&C: 03/08/12 Waited for AF for 146 long days!
Hysteroscopy/D&C on July 10th to fix blocked cervix (DX: Cervical Stenosis)
BFP #2 12/8/12, EDD 08/21/13 Our rainbow arrived 08/24/13!
Dear Ute,
Isn't it about time you figure your shiit out? You are not 10 years old, you are 30. You know how this deal works. Release egg. Build lining. Shed. It's not rocket science. Don't make me come in there.
D&C: 03/08/12 Waited for AF for 146 long days!
Hysteroscopy/D&C on July 10th to fix blocked cervix (DX: Cervical Stenosis)
BFP #2 12/8/12, EDD 08/21/13 Our rainbow arrived 08/24/13!
This. Totally. Love the way you put that!
And thanks for the input. I knew going in to this marriage it would be difficult. I just didn't realize I would have such a hard time dealing. It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
)
I am a school social worker and work a lot with pregnant teens who think getting pregnant is not a big deal and often ask me why I dont have any kids... I just want to yell at them and slap them all!!
BFP #1: January 2012, MMC/BO February 2012; BFP #2: June 2012, MMC July 2012; BFP #3: February 2013
::gigglesnort::
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29
***All AL always welcome***