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January 2012 Moms
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Trying not to resent Dh--Repost from 3-6mnth

wychetswychets member
in January 2012 Moms
Long story short.....My DH works 12 hours shifts but they are split meaning 7-3p and then 4-830ish so he gets home by 10p. By then DD is sleeping and everything is done (bottles, bags packed, etc.) I am exhausted!!!! I take DD to DC, I work 8hrs, I pick her up, We play, I prepare EVERYTHING for the next day for her, I get myself and things ready, Baths, Pjs, and bed. Not to mention she is teething and extra fussy!! DH walks in the door kisses us, showers, and lays on the couch to watch ESPN until he falls asleep. I AM SO PISSED I could cry...I am off on Wednesdays and I do not take DD to DC because I already feel like I don't see her enough but by the end of the day I feel like I've worked all day so I just can't win either way!! Any advice would be appreciated.
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Re: Trying not to resent Dh--Repost from 3-6mnth

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    wychetswychets member
    imageFarmBoysWife:

    I can understand how it feels, been there, done that :)

    So from my experience: He has no chance to do anything because you do it all for him before he gets home. When I was pumping at work I felt the same way, then I told DH that I was making the milk the least he could do was to wash my parts for me every night. DH was happy to help, and I was able to get extra sleep or do other things I wanted to do. Therefore, I think you should probably tell him you need to do x,y, and z for LO's bags tomorrow because I feel like I'm doing everything, and tell him it needs to be done every night when you come home. 

    Thank you! I'm going to try this. I feel like I am one of those "I want it done correctly so I do it myself" type of people and I need to let him learn for himself. We need to sit down and have a conversation before I go insane:)

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    OatoaOatoa member
    imageFarmBoysWife:

    I can understand how it feels, been there, done that :)

    So from my experience: He has no chance to do anything because you do it all for him before he gets home. When I was pumping at work I felt the same way, then I told DH that I was making the milk the least he could do was to wash my parts for me every night. DH was happy to help, and I was able to get extra sleep or do other things I wanted to do. Therefore, I think you should probably tell him you need to do x,y, and z for LO's bags tomorrow because I feel like I'm doing everything, and tell him it needs to be done every night when you come home. 

    This is what we do too.  It works out really well.

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    2BMrsMcW2BMrsMcW member

    Holy heck, DH and I just got in an argument about this same subject yesterday, only it had more to do with me feeling like I do EVERYTHING for the DS and him complaining that I don't do enough other stuff around the house. He is now washer of the pump parts!

    As far as your DC situation goes. Can you put DD in DC for a few hours on Wednesday and take some time for yourself?

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    wychetswychets member
    image2BMrsMcW:

    Holy heck, DH and I just got in an argument about this same subject yesterday, only it had more to do with me feeling like I do EVERYTHING for the DS and him complaining that I don't do enough other stuff around the house. He is now washer of the pump parts!

    As far as your DC situation goes. Can you put DD in DC for a few hours on Wednesday and take some time for yourself?

    Yes I can. I will be starting next week when I am off, that will allow me to get a small "break" :)

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    jnickers98jnickers98 member
    imageFarmBoysWife:

    I can understand how it feels, been there, done that :)

    So from my experience: He has no chance to do anything because you do it all for him before he gets home. When I was pumping at work I felt the same way, then I told DH that I was making the milk the least he could do was to wash my parts for me every night. DH was happy to help, and I was able to get extra sleep or do other things I wanted to do. Therefore, I think you should probably tell him you need to do x,y, and z for LO's bags tomorrow because I feel like I'm doing everything, and tell him it needs to be done every night when you come home. 

    We try to do this as well.  I have to try really hard not to correct him if he does it differently than I would.  Unless it's unsafe, I keep my mouth shut.  If I do have to correct him, I try to be very careful in my approach so that he doesn't give up and tell me to do it myself.

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