My counselor used the "m" word

hungryhippo · May 2012

"M" is for medication in this case.

We had to do my appointment by phone yesterday because I was having a meltdown just getting ready for the appointment and I didn't feel safe driving in between the sobs. She knows I'm not really open to regular medication but she suggested thinking about meeting with the doctor to talk about options for acute situations that seem to creep up occasionally, like yesterday.

Anyone have any experience to share?

Also, this counselor has very different views and suggestions for handling situations than a previous counselor I saw. Does anyone here have a good resource for explaining counseling styles/philosophies?

BootsOrHearts · May 2012

I've been on prozac since the m/c. I was averse to it at first, but it's helped A LOT. Don't be scared to try medication, it can make a world of difference. It doesn't mean you're crazy, and you don't have to be on it forever. It sometimes helps to get you past the worst of it so you can move on.

I hope you are able to get a plan together and that you start feeling better soon. Right Hug

Mmm79 · May 2012

I am really sorry you are having such a rough time.

I am not currently on any medication, but several years ago I had a bout with some severe anxiety and in addition to counseling (which did wonders), I had an RX for acute situations (i.e. I was having a panic attack). I never actually used the medication, but just knowing that I had it to take if I needed it was really helpful.

Are you concerned about taking medication in general? Or how it would fit into your TTC plans? If it's the latter, I would suggest checking in with your OB.

laurenli83 · May 2012

I would suggest getting opinions from your OB or RE.

BootsOrHearts · May 2012

I should have mentioned - my OB prescribed the prozac and she said if I need to stay on it while TTC (and while pregnant for that matter) that it should be just fine. She has lots of patients who do.

hungryhippo · May 2012

Mmm79:
I am really sorry you are having such a rough time.
I am not currently on any medication, but several years ago I had a bout with some severe anxiety and in addition to counseling (which did wonders), I had an RX for acute situations (i.e. I was having a panic attack). I never actually used the medication, but just knowing that I had it to take if I needed it was really helpful.
Are you concerned about taking medication in general? Or how it would fit into your TTC plans? If it's the latter, I would suggest checking in with your OB.

Thanks, everyone for your replies. I'll definitely check in with my OB before I take anything at all. Frankly though, unless there is lots and lots of sound scientific evidence that a medication is safe, I'm very cautious.

Mmm79, I'm concerned about medication in general (side effects, weight gain, the eventual weaning process) but certainly about ttc too. My counselor is the first person to validate for me that some of my emotional difficulty is caused by my current ttc situation and has encouraged me to consider becoming more proactive about seeking a fertility consultation, rather than putting it off because of my perception that i have to be 100% emotionally healed first. Adding in a potentially contraindicated medication seems counterproductive.

hungryhippo · May 2012

jenek0213:
BootsOrHearts:
I've been on prozac since the m/c. I was averse to it at first, but it's helped A LOT. Don't be scared to try medication, it can make a world of difference. It doesn't mean you're crazy, and you don't have to be on it forever. It sometimes helps to get you past the worst of it so you can move on.
I hope you are able to get a plan together and that you start feeling better soon.
THIS! I am normally on meds for an anxiety disorder but I got back on them recently... it just gives some help managing the totally normal and understandable depression and emotional upheaval.
You don't have to stay on forever, but it has helped me stay in control of my emotions.... especially when the emotional swell comes at inappropriate times.

Thanks to both of you for sharing this. Jenek, how does it help? Does the emotional swell come less often or is it less intense, or are you just able to feel it start and then prevent it from overwhelming?

Usually, if I can push it off, it comes back stronger later. So, I've been just letting it wash over. But the inappropriate timing is a problem.

I guess I'm also afraid of it making me numb and therefore slowing or stopping the work I'm doing to heal. I use it as somewhat of a measure of how I'm doing. If it's controlled with medication, how will I know if I'm still making progress?

hungryhippo · May 2012

expatmama:
I had this recommended to me at one point when I had frequent panic attacks, but the medications suggested were all highly addictive and of a sort I didn't feel comfortable with (xanax and similar). I never ended up using the meds since the thought of them made me more anxious.
I don't know if your counselors maybe vary in schools of thought, it is hard to say - I think cognitive behavioral therapy might differ from traditional, but don't know too much from personal experience.
I found relaxation techniques and reaching out to someone who can talk me through it works best. By then I had figured out the pattern to my attacks so could be prepared (I usually panic 2 days after a really stressful event - when things are calm and back to normal. Now that I know that, I have been able to find better coping techniques because I can reflect on why I am panicking).
But a lot of people find medication helpful. I can't say I didn't, I was just too chicken to try.

I know one or two people IRL who shared similar feelings as you. Or, they did go on the anti anxiety medications and regretted it because of the side effects. How long did it take for you to figure out your pattern in a way that helped you learn to cope?

figgs0831 · May 2012

I am in this situation now. I refuse to go on daily medication, but my anxiety flares up are becoming difficult to manage. I've been having attacks at work that leave me hiding in the bathroom crying and trying to breathe.

My therapist recommended the same thing to me and my doctor prescribed me xanex. I take it "as needed" and get immediate relief. It lasts for about 4 hours, but It is usually just what I need to get past the attack and feel better. At first, I was hesitant to take it at work because I get a little tired with it, but I always have it with me now. If I do need to take it at work, I usually just take half a pill and I am A OK. Also, if I can't sleep at night because my mind is racing, xanex works like a charm in calming me down.

It sucks that you have to deal with this and I hope it gets better soon! My therapist now has me keeping track of my attacks. I have to write down what I was doing when it started, what I was feeling, and what was going through my head. I then have to write a positive note for everything I wrote down to make me realize that I'm not going to die or that I'm not going crazy. Believe it or not, it is helping. I'm training myself to turn around the thoughts that are making me upset and anxious.

funny bunny · May 2012

I don'd have any medical advice, but have you thought of trying other methods to help yourself?

Such as exercise, diet, support groups, etc?

pkaren · May 2012

there are so many types of counselling philosophies. I work it the counselling field and my specific "specialty" is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Basically (and you probably already know this), It about the thought-feeling connections and how it effects your actions/behaviour. So my thinking about a situation will effect the way I feel about it. Negative thoughts = negative emotions and vice versa.

I have a book on my bookshelf that's called "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies". It breaks everything down into really simple terms.

Here's a good website for some self-help resources: https://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/

I work in a prison with violent offenders, so I teach alot of relaxation techniques, anger managment, etc.

I'm not sure if any of this was actually helpful, I'm just a bit of a geel with this stuff. If you have any questions, just PM me!

I'm also starting counselling soon, which was really hard for me to do, since I feel like I should be able to "fix" myself sometimes....

pkaren · May 2012

I also wanted to add the disclaimer, that I'm not a Dr, I'm just giving advice. It's up to you to figure out what will work, whether it be CBT, meds or anything else. I'm just most comforatble with the CBT stuff, however if your anxiety is so severe it might be better to treat it with meds.

My only worry is (and this is just my opinion) some Dr's prescribe meds too easily and if you're not treating the cause of the problem, the meds are only going to hide the symptoms.

Again every situation is different though and you and your Dr. need to figure out what's best for you.

:::END RAMBLE:::

MissRachel621 · May 2012

I am currently weaning myself off of Celexa, a daily anti-anxiety med that I've taken on and off for years, most recently right after my last m/c. The wean is not too bad this time, and I have a supply of Klonopin for acute situations / flare ups. Many doctors, including mine, say it's fine to take an SSRI during pregnancy, but I'm just not comfortable with it. I am starting a "Managing Anxiety" class soon, and I have found that yoga helps me A LOT. Good luck!

s.alarie · June 2012

expatmama:
I had this recommended to me at one point when I had frequent panic attacks, but the medications suggested were all highly addictive and of a sort I didn't feel comfortable with (xanax and similar). I never ended up using the meds since the thought of them made me more anxious.
I don't know if your counselors maybe vary in schools of thought, it is hard to say - I think cognitive behavioral therapy might differ from traditional, but don't know too much from personal experience.
I found relaxation techniques and reaching out to someone who can talk me through it works best. By then I had figured out the pattern to my attacks so could be prepared (I usually panic 2 days after a really stressful event - when things are calm and back to normal. Now that I know that, I have been able to find better coping techniques because I can reflect on why I am panicking).
But a lot of people find medication helpful. I can't say I didn't, I was just too chicken to try.

**I am in no means trying to invalidate your anxiety surrounding medications**

I am super late to this thread, but just wanted to add my 2 cents. Everyone is entitled to their opinion/decision surrounding medications. What I want to mention is the stigma surrounding medications, especially ones like ativan, xanax, klonopin, oxycontin (not for anxiety, but just for example).

They all have their place and work wonders, but there is a HUGE difference between getting them as a RX from your doctor and taking them as prescribed, and buying them on the street and popping a few whenever you feel like it.

If you need medication to get you through your toughest times, you are not addicted to it. My suggestion, if you think you want to start taking any kind of med, is to start at the lowest dose possible, and work your way up if it's just not quite enough.

**Stepping off soap box**

s.alarie · June 2012

expatmama:
Salarie - I totally respect that, and that is why I ended by saying that medications work for a lot of people and I am not saying you shouldn't take them.
She only asked other people's experiences.
I personally have a long family history of anxiety and addiction, so for me I had a lot of anxiety based on personal experience. Watching a loved one who was prescribed valium (this was many years ago now) for anxiety progress to other medications and drugs pretty quickly does make me more concerned probably than most.
Yes, there is a purpose for Xanex. But for some of us, it is a line that is tough one to cross. And many people that do develop addictions do begin legitimately.
Again, there are two sides to every coin. And I am not trying to convince OP not to take the medications. I don't know her situation and I am not a doctor. I am only speaking from my personal experience.

I agree with you. Medication addiction and dependency are very real.

I didn't mean to upset you, or put you on the defense.

monkeymommie · June 2012

If you have been having this happen fairly often, the crying disrupting a normal routine, maybe you dr. is right in suggestig looking at medication.

Several years ago when my dr. asked how I was doing--such a simple question!--I burst out crying. I didn't always cry all day long, but I was generally unhappy, stopped looking forward to things, got overly anxious about manageable issues, didn't feel like I could get it all done, didn't feel like there was anything to look forward to...anyway, he prescribed effexor for anxiety and depression. I hadn't realized I needed it (neither had dh...such a gradual change in me it seemed!) and I was resistant--but I took it. Within 2 weeks I felt amazingly better, like my old self. I started enjoying things again...so mad it took so long to realize! I was on it for 2 1/2 years and then weaned off of it. I don't need it anymore but try to be aware in case I slip back. This mc has worried me that I might slip back, but one week out I am still so sad about it but not like that old feeling that it sounds like you may have.

I know this is long, but from the little description you gave medication might help. Maybe this was a completely unusual situation, but if not maybe be open to it. For me it was worth TTA and getting meds to get my life back. But I don't know your age or exact situation...maybe TTA is not a good idea for you (I really wanted (still want) a 3rd, but I do have 2 healthy sons and can say we are happy now--if I had none or 1 and was the age I am now I may have chosen differently). Also like a PP said, there are medications you can take while TTC--just talk to your dr.

Sorry for writing a book! But I know how debilitating it is to just sob where you can't drive...and it is awful. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Be open to any help you might need.

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