Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Covering my Emotions
I just found out yesterday that I had a chemical pregnancy. I was a little over 5 weeks. I had a wierd feeling when I found out I was pregnant that something was wrong and when I started spotting, it confirmed all my fears. Although I researched all day and knew the good and the bad of what spotting could mean, I still just had a feeling that it wasn't good. Yesterday I made an appointment to see my OB with a tiny bit of hope that she would tell me that I was still pregnant. When she told me the news, I wasn't upset because I had already mentally prepared myself for the news. I kept filling myself with positive thoughts the rest of the day. I told myself to be strong and put a smile on my face while I was at work. When I got home today, I just broke down. I know that God has the right time planned for my pregnancy, but it still hurts my feelings that something we have been trying for a year to acheive was taken away. I am hoping that the reason for this loss will become apparent to me. As for today, I am just sad.
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Re: Covering my Emotions
I'm so sorry for your loss. This board has been a wonderful support system for me, and I hope you find it comforting too. I think going through a range of emotions is just part of dealing with such terrible news. I know I have been on a roller coaster. Take all the time you need... the only way that's right is what's right for you.
FWIW, I also believe that God has a plan even when it doesn't seem like it. Holding on to that has made my loss easier.
(hugs)
BFP#1 06/01/09~DS Born 01/29/10 via c/s
BFP#2 05/17/12~EDD 01/18/13~Natural M/C 05/27/12@6w2d
BFP#3 07/03/12~DD Born 03/08/13 via sched. c/s
BFP #4 10/03/13 EDD 06/09/14 SURPRISE!!! On our way to 2u2!
International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)...BF questions/concens welcome!
I'm sorry for your loss
I agree with PP--let yourself feel whatever emotions come up. I let myself cry at work because I knew that "hiding" from the sadness, grief and anger would only prolong the healing process. Easier said than done some days I know...
This board is amazing and offered me a lot of support in my early days. I hope you can connect with some of the women on here. You are not alone--it was surprising (and truly sad) to me to find out how common MC is.
((hugs))
** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29
***All AL always welcome***
Your story sounds exactly like mine. When I found out I never got that elated feeling because I was cramping here and there and something just felt...wrong. By the time the doctors got back to me with my second round of betas to tell me my HCG was dropping and I was losing the baby, I had already lost it...
I've been told since I was 16 that getting pregnant might be very hard for me to do, so for it to just happen when we weren't trying and having to feel it go...well lets just say, break down. It's the least we should be able to do right now.
(hugs) sorry for your loss, hun.
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
[spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow
BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010
BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)
3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!
Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500
First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat
LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!
TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015
Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015
Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270
First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.
JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.
TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]
This.exactly.
BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12
BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13
BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13
Me Dx: DOR DH: all tests normal
Our Pretty Little Nest Blog
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013