Unpopular opinions

livinginashoe · May 2012

C'mon ladies, I know you have 'em!

livinginashoe · May 2012

Mine will be this: I think it's important to be honest with kids. I don't buy into this everyone-gets-a-trophy nonsense that seems so rampant today. My kids will have realistic views of their abilities, and they'll know we love them anyway.

This is how my parents raised me, and IMO, it makes the compliments mean so much more when I know they're genuine. If everyone is pretty/smart/fast, then nobody is, and I believe that if we celebrate everything, we celebrate nothing.

Jen0204 · May 2012

livinginashoe:
Mine will be this: I think it's important to be honest with kids. I don't buy into this everyone-gets-a-trophy nonsense that seems so rampant today. My kids will have realistic views of their abilities, and they'll know we love them anyway.

This is how my parents raised me, and IMO, it makes the compliments mean so much more when I know they're genuine. If everyone is pretty/smart/fast, then nobody is, and I believe that if we celebrate everything, we celebrate nothing.

In my aunt's town they don't have playoffs in sports (in the rec leagues) because they don't want kids to think that there are winners and losers. That made me so mad when she told me that. There ARE winners and losers, and that's not a bad thing! Kids need to learn that they won't be the best at everything, and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I think all of my trophies from when I was younger were participation trophies (the ones they gave out to the teams that didn't place first, second, or third) and it never made me not want to play or anything. Healthy competition is good, as is learning how to work as a member of a team and that if you want to win you need to work hard. I think sports teach great lessons.

I also agree with your second point. My parents tried to emphasize the same things for my sister and I growing up even though we're polar opposites. I excelled in school so they were furious when she didn't. I went to college so they refused to consider sending her to cosmetology school. Yes, I was "smarter", but she is so much more friendly, outgoing, and more of a social butterfly. If you put us each in a room with 100 strangers I'll come out with one or two friends and she'll come out with 100. Every person is different and I think it's important to teach kids to play to their strengths.

sparks2987 · May 2012

Mine this week might count as FFC...either way:

I hate when people say they quit their job to be a mom full time. This digs deep into my skin. It makes me feel like working mom's arent mom's full time. I know the saying isnt meant to make working mommas feel bad, but it does me anyway. Nothing against either SAHM or working moms...it is just the saying bugs me.

and

I actually miss DD when it is DH's night to get up with her at night. I really miss those middle of the night cuddles but I know I have to get some sleep or I will never make out alive possibly taking DH down with me...

AnessaDaneen · May 2012

It really saddens me when people tell expectant mothers to "get your sleep" or "life as you know it s now over". Being a parent is a wonderful thing! Life is not the same but I would never want to go back. Instead we should be telling expectant mothers about the joys of having a child.

livinginashoe · May 2012

Jen0204:
livinginashoe:

Mine will be this: I think it's important to be honest with kids. I don't buy into this everyone-gets-a-trophy nonsense that seems so rampant today. My kids will have realistic views of their abilities, and they'll know we love them anyway.

This is how my parents raised me, and IMO, it makes the compliments mean so much more when I know they're genuine. If everyone is pretty/smart/fast, then nobody is, and I believe that if we celebrate everything, we celebrate nothing.

In my aunt's town they don't have playoffs in sports (in the rec leagues) because they don't want kids to think that there are winners and losers. That made me so mad when she told me that. There ARE winners and losers, and that's not a bad thing! Kids need to learn that they won't be the best at everything, and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I think all of my trophies from when I was younger were participation trophies (the ones they gave out to the teams that didn't place first, second, or third) and it never made me not want to play or anything. Healthy competition is good, as is learning how to work as a member of a team and that if you want to win you need to work hard. I think sports teach great lessons.

I also agree with your second point. My parents tried to emphasize the same things for my sister and I growing up even though we're polar opposites. I excelled in school so they were furious when she didn't. I went to college so they refused to consider sending her to cosmetology school. Yes, I was "smarter", but she is so much more friendly, outgoing, and more of a social butterfly. If you put us each in a room with 100 strangers I'll come out with one or two friends and she'll come out with 100. Every person is different and I think it's important to teach kids to play to their strengths.

Oh yes, my parents definitely played to our strengths. In fact, my dad once gave awards (something we still joke about). Among the awards were Smartest, Nicest, Most Athletic, Funniest and Best All-Around. I won smartest. And you know what, I probably am the smartest. And you know what else? I'm definitely not the most athletic, funniest, or nicest. My feelings are in no way hurt by this, nor is my self-esteem.

slv0606 · May 2012

Starbuck128:
I hate gift bags. I try to be environmentally friendly, and everyone in my family and DH's family uses and reuses gift bags. I hate them! I see them as a lazy way to wrap presents, and I think the presentation of a gift is almost as important as the gift. I spend a lot of time picking out my wrapping paper, and I pick out quality stuff. I'm the person trees have nightmares about.

I HATE tissue paper! And everyone in my and H's families make fun of me and stuff each bag with mounds of it...so ridiculous but pisses me off! HA!

poobear2015 · May 2012

Starbuck128:
I hate gift bags. I try to be environmentally friendly, and everyone in my family and DH's family uses and reuses gift bags. I hate them! I see them as a lazy way to wrap presents, and I think the presentation of a gift is almost as important as the gift. I spend a lot of time picking out my wrapping paper, and I pick out quality stuff. I'm the person trees have nightmares about.

I never minded gift bags UNTIL my baby showers! I have told all my family/friends that if they ever need a gift bag for a baby shower (esp a girl!) please don't buy one - see me! I now have close to 100!

shortsweet&sassy · May 2012

I dont get why people get so worked up when family or friends say "my baby" to their child. They obviously know it is not their baby but they are excited about your child. Be thankful that your family and friends love your baby that much.

Mar5195 · May 2012

This, this, this!

shortsweet&sassy:
I dont get why people get so worked up when family or friends say "my baby" to their child. They obviously know it is not their baby but they are excited about your child. Be thankful that your family and friends love your baby that much.

I love when people take a bit of ownership of my son. I'm a believer in it takes a village.to raise a child. They love him and that makes me very happy. And at the end of the day I know good and well he's MINE!! And so does he, no one is better than his MAMA!!

dmsny · May 2012

Mar5195:
This, this, this!

shortsweet&sassy:
I dont get why people get so worked up when family or friends say "my baby" to their child. They obviously know it is not their baby but they are excited about your child. Be thankful that your family and friends love your baby that much.

I love when people take a bit of ownership of my son. I'm a believer in it takes a village.to raise a child. They love him and that makes me very happy. And at the end of the day I know good and well he's MINE!! And so does he, no one is better than his MAMA!!

I agree when it's my friends. I don't agree when it's my family!

dmsny · May 2012

Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or a flame free confessions but here it goes:

Those soothie pacifiers make your kid look like a blow up doll. Hate them.

Jen0204 · May 2012

dmsny:
Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or a flame free confessions but here it goes:
Those soothie pacifiers make your kid look like a blow up doll. Hate them.

I hate them too. My nephew uses them and I swore the girls wouldn't and they would use the cute ones with pictures of phrases on them. They wanted nothing to do with those! I tried again last week to get them to use those and I got such nasty looks from them. I don't know what it is about the Soothies but babies seem to love them.

Jen0204 · May 2012

livinginashoe:
Oh yes, my parents definitely played to our strengths. In fact, my dad once gave awards (something we still joke about). Among the awards were Smartest, Nicest, Most Athletic, Funniest and Best All-Around. I won smartest. And you know what, I probably am the smartest. And you know what else? I'm definitely not the most athletic, funniest, or nicest. My feelings are in no way hurt by this, nor is my self-esteem.

Best All-Around? The other stuff wouldn't bug me, but if my dad had given my sister or brother an award that they were the "Best All-Around" my feelings would have been hurt. I 100% agree with making your kids aware of their strengths and weaknesses, but picking favorites kind of sucks.

livinginashoe · May 2012

Jen0204:

livinginashoe:

Oh yes, my parents definitely played to our strengths. In fact, my dad once gave awards (something we still joke about). Among the awards were Smartest, Nicest, Most Athletic, Funniest and Best All-Around. I won smartest. And you know what, I probably am the smartest. And you know what else? I'm definitely not the most athletic, funniest, or nicest. My feelings are in no way hurt by this, nor is my self-esteem.

Best All-Around? The other stuff wouldn't bug me, but if my dad had given my sister or brother an award that they were the "Best All-Around" my feelings would have been hurt. I 100% agree with making your kids aware of their strengths and weaknesses, but picking favorites kind of sucks.

Best all-around was not synonymous with favorite. Like I said, I was nowhere in the running for nicest (lol, I think some Feb moms would LOVE to vouch for that), most athletic, or funniest. The sib that got BAA was actually a contender in ever category. He might really be smarter than I am, but he's also very athletic and funny. How nice he is depends on his mood :-P

No, for favorites, my dad awarded points. I once got double points for getting my sister to go on a run with us. You'd think my sister would get the points for the run, but when my dad found out I tricked her into it, I got a bonus.

Seriously, though. Parents love their children the same, but different. My parents don't have favorites, we occupy different parts of their heart because we are completely different people. We joke a lot about favorites in our family, but we all know that I am an individual. If my mom told me she loved me the same way she loved my brother, I would know she was lying. It's just the way things work, and my parents have always been very up-front about that.

Edited for quoting fail.

lancyjo · May 2012

Jen0204:
dmsny:
Not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or a flame free confessions but here it goes:
Those soothie pacifiers make your kid look like a blow up doll. Hate them.
I hate them too. My nephew uses them and I swore the girls wouldn't and they would use the cute ones with pictures of phrases on them. They wanted nothing to do with those! I tried again last week to get them to use those and I got such nasty looks from them. I don't know what it is about the Soothies but babies seem to love them.

I must have the one baby on earth who doesn't care for them. They'll do in a pinch for a few minutes while I find a NUK (her fave), but I better be finding "NUKy" pdq.

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