FrUsTrAtEd! — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

FrUsTrAtEd!

So...I've been trying to not get be frustrated about this whole situation but yesterday afternon & today have been very frustrating...

The day we found out we had had an incomplete miscarriage, we found out that one of our friends sisters was pregnant and due in December (same as us). Yesterday afternoon our friend changed her BBM pic to the ultrasound of her new neice or nephew. I greeted this with a comment that I was super happy for her sister and asked how far along she was...I shouldnt have. We would have been due one week apart... :( So I tell my lovely DH and he says, we cant get sad or emotional everytime we find out someone is pregnant...I had to remind myself that I love him and he is looking out for me before I snapped.

Today, I asked my Dr if I could get a second blood draw just to confirm my levels were going down - date of hospital visit 1300, last tuesday 33. He refused saying that I would be fine and it was not necessary. Necessary to who! It's darn well necessary to me & my mind!! Anyways...hes been great otherwise but that really bothered me.

Also today, im chatting with my best friend and she tells me that a girl we went to College with is having her second. I am totally excited for her because they have a 4 year old and have been trying for a second since they had him...then the blow...she's due in December. Ugh. Again, DH doesnt understand why it bothers me...but instead of saying anything he just smiled at me, so that was good.

I have a job interview in the morning and am trying to focus on that instead of any of this but its not working.

Sorry for the rant...I just feel like nothing is going right. Fingers crossed for a better tomorrow :)

Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

 Oct 16/13. BFP @ 11 dpo

Oct 21/13. Beta 360 @ 16 dpo

Oct 23/13. Beta 749 @ 18 dpo

Nov 24/13. Saw HB (141bpm) & baby wiggle around via ultrasound @ 9w5d due date changed to June 23!!

Dec 6/13. Heard HB (122bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 11w3d

Jan 9/14. Heard HB (124bpm) via Doppler at OB @ 16w3d irregular beat

Jan 29/14. DH felt kicks for first time @ 19w3d

Feb 2/14. Saw baby via ultrasound (quick scan in ER) @ 19w6d

Feb 6/14. Heard HB (126-134bpm) via Doppler @ 20w3d normal beat

Feb 15/14. AS - baby looked great (measured 1w small) and would NOT let us see sex! @ 21w5d 

Feb 20/14  3D US - its a GIRL!!!!! @ 22w3d

Feb 27/14. Repeat AS for more pics, HB 124bpm  @ 23w3d

Mar 6/14. Heard HB (130bpm) via Doppler @ 24w3d

 

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers  

Re: FrUsTrAtEd!

  • First of all - good luck with your job interview tomorrow morning! I'll send plenty of positive interview vibes your way :)

    But secondly - I am right there with you. I don't want to hear about anyone else's good fortune right now when I'm living in my own personal nightmare. I don't want to pretend to be happy for someone else's healthy pregnancy at this point (unless they have known loss like we have.) I know how wrong this is... I know it. But for me and my own sanity - it's just not possible to be happy for anyone else when the loss is still los fresh in my mind

    I'm sorry about your loss.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 1 - March 26, 2012, MMC discovered May 21, 2012
    BFP 2 - October 30, 2012, Rainbow Baby Boy born July 14, 2013
    TTC no sooner than November 2014
  •  I am beyond relieved to know I am not the only one feeling this way. Hopefully with time it will ease but I am having a tremendously horrible time pretending to be happy for people. 

    I am so sorry you are having other peoples successful pregnancies thrown in your face. Intentional or not, it is the hardest thing.  

     

     

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  • image weaslewam:

    First of all - good luck with your job interview tomorrow morning! I'll send plenty of positive interview vibes your way :)

    But secondly - I am right there with you. I don't want to hear about anyone else's good fortune right now when I'm living in my own personal nightmare. I don't want to pretend to be happy for someone else's healthy pregnancy at this point (unless they have known loss like we have.) I know how wrong this is... I know it. But for me and my own sanity - it's just not possible to be happy for anyone else when the loss is still los fresh in my mind

    I'm sorry about your loss.

    Ditto to all. I can't slap on a fake grin, bat my lashes and gush when someone announces their pregnancy. I just can't handle it. I don't hate them by any means but I also don't want to hear about it just yet. And it seems like suddenly everyone and their friend are pregnant. I wish I could program my computer to hide anything in reference to pregnancies. That would rock. Until then, I try to stay busy. Good luck with your interview. Hang in there. I am sorry for your loss 

    imageimage
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    EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm sorry your dr isn't willing to accomodate your request for another blood draw.

    I understand how difficult it can be to hear about someone else's success. While you may be happy for them, the overwhelming sadness for yourself can be hard, but is completely acceptable.

    Good luck with the interview.

    Me: 25
    Dx PCOS (June 2006, re-confirmed March 2012), Anemia (May 2010-Still fighting to correct it), Fibromyalgia (May 2011)
    Initial b/w - normal
    HSG (March 2012) revealed right tube open and looking great. Left tube deformed with hydrosalpinx.
    Lap (April 2012) Removal of left fallopian tube. Right tube open and viable, but "rather enlarged." NO evidence of endometriosis...Uterus looks beautiful and "very capable" of carrying a pregnancy!
    October 2012 - Clomid 50mg + trigger + IUI = BFN
    With all factors taken into account, RE is recommending IVF. Planning on moving forward with treatment as a single woman using DS by Summer 2013.
    After 17 months of trying, Surprise BFP #1 2.15.2008 | EDD 8.7.2008 | Lost 2.16.2008
    After 2 more years of trying, Surprise BFP #2 1.29.2012 | EDD 9.11.2012 | Lost 1.29.2012
    Surprise BFP #3 3.27.2012 | EDD 12/2/2012 | Lost 4.1.2012
    image image
    someecards.com - Get a colonic?!? Some older lady said that's what she did to cure her infertility...Who knew a fancy enema and a sparkling clean ass would cure my infertility.
    My Blog Pinterest
  • I'm so sorry for your loss and sorry that you're not getting the support that you need :(  Your DH is grieving too, but it's terrible that he's not giving you what you need.

    I have a few friends that are pregnant too and it's hard.  My MOH is due in October and going for her a/s today.  That was the first story on my FB feed this morning.  And one of my best friends is pregnant and due 10 days after my EDD.  We had so much fun talking about our pregnancies.... I'm forcing myself to go to dinner with her tonight to get over the awkward now instead of later.

    It's normal to feel jealous or angry towards pregnant women right now.  That doesn't mean you're mad AT them, just at the situation.  In time, I hope this heals for you (and me too). 

    Best of luck at your interview today! 

    And just so you know, the ladies on this board are super supportive.  Feel free to vent, rant, ask questions, etc.  Whatever you need to do.  (hugs)

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