Ummmm.... 41 and this wasn't planned.
howleyshell
member
We are in total shock. We were using condoms and literally can't figure out what went wrong.
We were DONE.
I'm having a really hard time wrapping my mind around being 65 when the last one graduates college and DH being SEVENTY.
Of course there's still a huge chance it won't stick around (long history of loss) but in the mean time my head is spinning.
I just got a new job going back to work full time since both of the boys will be in school next year, we were planning our first Disney trip now the the boys are older and will remember and enjoy it more, a big trip out of the country for our 10 year anniversary because the kids are older and it's much easier for my Mom to keep them, preparing for the step-son to start college in a year ..... I just can't wrap my head around this.
It was SO not the plan.....
Older Moms - please share how you made your peace with this?
Anyone else pregnant unexpectedly?
How long did it take before the shock wore off and you could wrap your brain around how much you life was going to change?
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Re: Ummmm.... 41 and this wasn't planned.
I understand where you are right now. We just got married in November and got pregnant on our honeymoon. This is my second marriage and I have a 14 and 8 year old and my husband also has a 14 year old. We had decided we wouldn't have anymore children and got pregnant on out honeymoon. We now consider this baby to be out little miracle! It took me about 2 weeks to come to grips with the fact that we are having a baby and now we are so crazy about her and in love with her! We are thankful for our little girl!
I'm with you. I'll be 39 next month and my dh had a vasectomy 2 years ago! So to say we were in shock is an under-statement. My youngest will be 3 and I was really looking forward to her starting preschool, being officially done with diapers and just moving on from baby stuff. And, YES, being able to travel without the kids again! Urgh...
I'm over the shock but still trying to assimilate the changes and what it all means for us. I'm almost 10 weeks now. I don't care for being pregnant so that is coloring my outlook. Once the baby is here I know things will be fine.
Its a lot of changes when you thought things were going in a certain direction. The funny thing for us is that DH has been excited from the get-go.
Good luck!
I hear ya - the first words out of my mouth when I saw those two lines was "oh crap!".
I don't know how long it took but I spent much of that day and the next bursting into tears every 5 min. Sometimes it was tears of joy, sometimes pure panic.
You'll get there eventually. Good luck to you. Happy & healthy!!!!
I will be 41 when my son arrives. My dd is 2 1/2 so I was already in the swing of having a younger child. It still freaks me out and I think what was I thinking with the 2nd one. We weren't trying but weren't preventing. In fact, the month I got pg was supposed to be the last month of not using protection.
I think life makes our decisions for us sometimes. You will adjust and start to accept it more once the shock wears off! Congrats!
I didn't even marry til my mid 30s, had my first child at 38 and am now expecting #2 at 40. I'll be 41 when lo arrives and I could care less about the age thing. To me, it's just a number. I'll be 59 when our youngest graduates highschool and starts university. I hope to be retired by the time he/she graduates university. Maybe I am freaked out less about the age thing because my DH is 10 years younger than me, I don't know. It's only an issue if you let it be an issue.
I'm sure once you get a chance to process things and see how much you have grown and how your experience with your other children and previous pregnancies will help you with this, your age will become less of a concern. Just take it day by day and don't stress about what might happen 15 years from now. Live in the moment and enjoy your pregnancy. Congrats!
WHAT????????
Holy cats, congratulations. We also were using condoms as well and didn't have one break. I keep thinking that at age 40 and 38 we should really have mastered condoms.
I was really in shock and was amazed at how my husband's instant response was joy and excitement. I think that helped me a little. Honestly, by even the next day I was moving out of the "oh my gosh, I'm going to be so old when this baby is in college and how are we going to afford four kids and where the heck are we even putting four kids" and moving towards being excited. Well, excited and paranoid as I too have a history of losses.
In the end I just see this pregnancy as yet another way that even with the best laid plans, life happens and it's crazy sometimes but in the end it all works itself out. I can't be ungrateful that after our struggles I am pregnant again and I know that no matter what my age or our finanical situation, a new baby will bring joy to our lives.
Of course, my kids are quite a bit younger than yours so we are still sort of in baby-mode whereas you were moving beyond that. But, just give it time to let everything sink in.
I'm so happy for you.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Yep, this was totally unplanned. I had just accepted that fact that my 11yr old would be an only child like I am and I was REALLY good with that and enjoying our lives, then a week or two before I turned 40 learned that I was pregnant! My SO has a 16yr old & 21yr old boys and he was done....or so he thought. Now we're having a little girl to add to the mix
I'm 23 weeks and I think the shock just started to wear off a few weeks ago, but it still comes & goes every now and then and probably will continue to until she's here! Even though we weren't too happy and didn't know what road to take at first, I think of it as a blessing now!
Best of luck to you!
Congratulations.