Covering my Emotions — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Covering my Emotions

I just found out yesterday that I had a chemical pregnancy. I was a little over 5 weeks. I had a wierd feeling when I found out I was pregnant that something was wrong and when I started spotting, it confirmed all my fears. Although I researched all day and knew the good and the bad of what spotting could mean, I still just had a feeling that it wasn't good. Yesterday I made an appointment to see my OB with a tiny bit of hope that she would tell me that I was still pregnant. When she told me the news, I wasn't upset because I had already mentally prepared myself for the news. I kept filling myself with positive thoughts the rest of the day. I told myself to be strong and put a smile on my face while I was at work. When I got home today, I just broke down. I know that God has the right time planned for my pregnancy, but it still hurts my feelings that something we have been trying for a year to acheive was taken away. I am hoping that the reason for this loss will become apparent to me. As for today, I am just sad.
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Re: Covering my Emotions

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  This board has been a wonderful support system for me, and I hope you find it comforting too.  I think going through a range of emotions is just part of dealing with such terrible news.  I know I have been on a roller coaster.  Take all the time you need... the only way that's right is what's right for you.

    FWIW, I also believe that God has a plan even when it doesn't seem like it.  Holding on to that has made my loss easier.

    (hugs)

  • It's difficult to be strong all of the time. I'm sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up because you're sad... let yourself grieve in whatever way you feel that you must.
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    TTC no sooner than November 2014
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  • I'm sorry for your loss. It's okay to break down and just be sad. I have been going to work and trying to act like nothing's wrong, but as soon as I get in the car I start tearing up.

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    BFP#1 06/01/09~DS Born 01/29/10 via c/s 

    BFP#2 05/17/12~EDD 01/18/13~Natural M/C 05/27/[email protected] 

    BFP#3 07/03/12~DD Born 03/08/13 via sched. c/s 

    BFP #4 10/03/13 EDD 06/09/14 SURPRISE!!! On our way to 2u2!

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Take all the time you need to be sad or any other emotion you feel.  I hope you can find comfort in this board.  The women here are an amazing support system.   My thoughts are with you. 
    BFP #1 5/13 - chemical 5/19 4 weeks 6 days BFP #2 6/14 EDD - 2/24 Please Stick!!!! BabyFetus Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm sorry for your loss :(  I agree with PP--let yourself feel whatever emotions come up.  I let myself cry at work because I knew that "hiding" from the sadness, grief and anger would only prolong the healing process.  Easier said than done some days I know...

    This board is amazing and offered me a lot of support in my early days.  I hope you can connect with some of the women on here.  You are not alone--it was surprising (and truly sad) to me to find out how common MC is.

    ((hugs))

    TTC #1 since November 2011
    ** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
    ** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
    NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29

    ***All AL always welcome***
  • Your story sounds exactly like mine. When I found out I never got that elated feeling because I was cramping here and there and something just felt...wrong. By the time the doctors got back to me with my second round of betas to tell me my HCG was dropping and I was losing the baby, I had already lost it...

    I've been told since I was 16 that getting pregnant might be very hard for me to do, so for it to just happen when we weren't trying and having to feel it go...well lets just say, break down. It's the least we should be able to do right now.

     

    (hugs) sorry for your loss, hun. 

    Me 28 | DH 33
    Married 12.21.12
    DD#1 born 5.21.13
    DD#2 due 7.11.16
  • I ditto to what everyone has said. Experience whatever emotions you need to have. Grieving is ok. Hang in there. I am so sorry for your loss. 
    imageimage
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    EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves

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  • It's just not fair and it's something that'll never make a lick of sense. I'm so sorry. (((hugs))) you don't have to wear a smile here.

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

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    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

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  • imageLaurakat81:
    It's just not fair and it's something that'll never make a lick of sense. I'm so sorry. (((hugs))) you don't have to wear a smile here.

    This.exactly.  

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

    BFP #1: Mother's Day 5/13/12...m/c Memorial Day Weekend 5/26/12 

    BFP #2: 2/16/13...Owen Ray born 6 weeks early 9/9/13

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  • LovenizLoveniz
    250 Answers 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary
    member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. The ladies here are very supportive.
    TTC #1 Since Oct 2011
    BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
    BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13

    Me Dx: DOR   DH: all tests normal
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  • JessiUFJessiUF
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    member
    I had sort of the same thing in the sense that I stayed strong and just broke down when I got home.  I guess we all need our time to just break down and cry
  • AlbahAlbah
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    I'm so terribly sorry you are going through this! I completely understand how you feel. :( 
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers image
    BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
    BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks

    RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
    Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
    Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!

    Dx: LPD
    Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
    BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
    EDD: 05/23/2013 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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