I think it implies that if you work you are a part time mom and really there is no such thing. You may not be with your child all day but you are still a mom all the time-- even when you're at work. I know if a call came from daycare I would leave work right away. There may be stay at home mom and working moms, but no part time moms.
Ehhh....I don't use it and really don't care for the term because of the reasons you listed. But I don't think most people mean it like that when they do use it, I just think it may be used more in some circles. I know I hear it used by a lot of people who are not parents "Do you work or are you a full time mom?" and all they mean is that you are at home with your kid all the time. I don't see how it is a big deal, but like i said I don't use it because it seems a little weird to me and it seems to hurt some working mamas feelings and I would never want that.
I have never heard anyone say this. I think it sounds strange to define yourself only in the context of your relationship to other people. It would be just as odd if someone caring for an elderly parent referred to themselves as a "full time daughter."
I agree with Stacy. It's like me saying I don't like the phrase "Stay at home mom" because it doesn't describe me. We are never at home here. But if I were to say "Full time mom" it would clarify to someone that it is what I do all day rather than go to work. I don't use either to describe myself personally.
Also, if I were to say I was a "full time mom", where in there am I saying that a working mom (or any other mom) ISN'T still a mom. It's not like I am saying "I am THE full time mom and no one else is!" How I categorize myself has no bearing on anyone else.
I should add that I was a WM for several years. During that time, I never thought that anyone else felt I wasn't DS's mom 24/7, however I was not the one doing the "mothering" 24/7. I hired a day care facility to feed/change/play with/read to/kiss boo boos for him/etc during the time I was gone. It was a team effort, but I certainly recognized their part in raising him during that time. But when some people say they are a "full time mom", I think they mean to say that they are the ones doing those things 24/7 or whatever. Again, semantics
I guess the better question is- what would you prefer those people call themselves?
I have never heard anyone say this. I think it sounds strange to define yourself only in the context of your relationship to other people. It would be just as odd if someone caring for an elderly parent referred to themselves as a "full time daughter."
Wait! Are you talking about the post below? There FTM was clearly meant as "First Time Mom." She said "Anything you did as a First time mom that you won't do again?"
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Wait! Are you talking about the post below? There FTM was clearly meant as "First Time Mom." She said "Anything you did as a First time mom that you won't do again?"
ha-I didn't even catch it could have been in reference to my post below!
I've never heard anyone say full time mom in real life. I think it's a weird way to say it. I usually say "I stay home with my daughter," if someone asks. Of course we are actually not 'at home' very often, so it's not all that accurate, either.
And I used to think that when people here used "FTM" they were meaning "full time mom", but it actually is "first time mom". (Ive seen FTM posted a few times today, so thought maybe you had the same idea about the acronym.)
I always disliked the term "full time mom" as well. As soon as I heard it, I thought, everyone is a full time mom. I work a full time job and I certainly consider myself a full time mom!
I have only ever heard "full time mom" on the Internet. At least for myself, no one IRL thinks this way (or at least no one has so little tact as to say it). But I am sure some people do feel this way, given discussions around here before about who is "raising" kids or if you are "parenting" while at work, etc. It might be semantics for some, but I also think there is a grain of truth to it for some too. Working or not, the amount of mom I am isn't a way I personally would ever figure to describe myself. Just like I would never say "full time wife" or whatever.
I just think of it as a way of saying you stay home all day and you care for your kids. It's not a way of thinking. I have never, ever, ever thought to myself that my sister for instance is any less of a mother because she works. It's silly to get offended over such a term IMO.
Yawn. I think the term stay at home mom is stupid. I don't stay at home. I am out of the house much of the day, yet people persist in using the term. Whatever. I know what I do, and I am the only one who has to be comfortable with it. It is term.
I have only ever heard "full time mom" on the Internet. At least for myself, no one IRL thinks this way (or at least no one has so little tact as to say it). But I am sure some people do feel this way, given discussions around here before about who is "raising" kids or if you are "parenting" while at work, etc. It might be semantics for some, but I also think there is a grain of truth to it for some too. Working or not, the amount of mom I am isn't a way I personally would ever figure to describe myself. Just like I would never say "full time wife" or whatever.
I just think of it as a way of saying you stay home all day and you care for your kids. It's not a way of thinking. I have never, ever, ever thought to myself that my sister for instance is any less of a mother because she works. It's silly to get offended over such a term IMO.
Prehaps I have never heard someone say it who isn't trying to prove something, then. That is absolutely possible. It isn't so much offensive as just eye rolly to me -- it's an odd description. I mean imagine how many people would roll their eyes at "I am a full time and full time CPA/Nurse/whatever." We've had that discussion around here, and people will fully admit they or their husbands aren't full time parenting if they work.
Which is all fine, whatever works for your family. I just don't think we can always say it is semantics in every case.
I am 100% on the side of every mom is a full-time mom. Like I said, to me it is just a term. Nothing more.
I understand why you dislike the term, I really do - but I think you need to consider that someone who calls herself a full time mom is not trying to make the distinction you noted or to say that someone who works is not a full time mom, they are only using it as a term to define themselves.
Also, a stay at home mom could take offense to the term "working moms" because does that mean they do no work?
DS (7 years old) from FET in 2010 DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012 TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
I've used the term "full time mom" in the following context:
Friend (who does not have children) - I'm exhausted from working two full time jobs (She is a teacher and is also doing a fellowship that will ultimately further her career).
Me - Me too
Friend - ???
Me - I'm teaching full time and I'm a mom full time.
Friend - HA HA
On another note, I ran into an old friend the other day in a bookstore. I had my kids with me, one who she'd met and the little one she hadn't. She said, "So, what have you been doing besides raising babies?" I told her that I was pretty much just sticking with raising babies right now. I feel like that covers it pretty well, so next time I'm asked I might say that.
Re: Dislike the term Full Time Mom
Ehhh....I don't use it and really don't care for the term because of the reasons you listed. But I don't think most people mean it like that when they do use it, I just think it may be used more in some circles. I know I hear it used by a lot of people who are not parents "Do you work or are you a full time mom?" and all they mean is that you are at home with your kid all the time. I don't see how it is a big deal, but like i said I don't use it because it seems a little weird to me and it seems to hurt some working mamas feelings and I would never want that.
Like pp said, semantics
I agree with Stacy. It's like me saying I don't like the phrase "Stay at home mom" because it doesn't describe me. We are never at home here. But if I were to say "Full time mom" it would clarify to someone that it is what I do all day rather than go to work. I don't use either to describe myself personally.
Also, if I were to say I was a "full time mom", where in there am I saying that a working mom (or any other mom) ISN'T still a mom. It's not like I am saying "I am THE full time mom and no one else is!" How I categorize myself has no bearing on anyone else.
I should add that I was a WM for several years. During that time, I never thought that anyone else felt I wasn't DS's mom 24/7, however I was not the one doing the "mothering" 24/7. I hired a day care facility to feed/change/play with/read to/kiss boo boos for him/etc during the time I was gone. It was a team effort, but I certainly recognized their part in raising him during that time. But when some people say they are a "full time mom", I think they mean to say that they are the ones doing those things 24/7 or whatever. Again, semantics
I guess the better question is- what would you prefer those people call themselves?
this
ha-I didn't even catch it could have been in reference to my post below!
Yes, FTM=first time mom, not full time mom.
I've never heard anyone say full time mom in real life. I think it's a weird way to say it. I usually say "I stay home with my daughter," if someone asks. Of course we are actually not 'at home' very often, so it's not all that accurate, either.
And I used to think that when people here used "FTM" they were meaning "full time mom", but it actually is "first time mom". (Ive seen FTM posted a few times today, so thought maybe you had the same idea about the acronym.)
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
Slap that biatch down...
LOL, I cracked up. EXACTLY what I thought in my head.....but I added agood old fashioned "hoe" in for good measure!
This is the sillyest thing to worry about by the way! It was the kind of thing I worried about when DS was a newborn and I felt insecure still. I mean
I always disliked the term "full time mom" as well. As soon as I heard it, I thought, everyone is a full time mom. I work a full time job and I certainly consider myself a full time mom!
I just think of it as a way of saying you stay home all day and you care for your kids. It's not a way of thinking. I have never, ever, ever thought to myself that my sister for instance is any less of a mother because she works. It's silly to get offended over such a term IMO.
I am 100% on the side of every mom is a full-time mom. Like I said, to me it is just a term. Nothing more.
I understand why you dislike the term, I really do - but I think you need to consider that someone who calls herself a full time mom is not trying to make the distinction you noted or to say that someone who works is not a full time mom, they are only using it as a term to define themselves.
Also, a stay at home mom could take offense to the term "working moms" because does that mean they do no work?
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
I've used the term "full time mom" in the following context:
Friend (who does not have children) - I'm exhausted from working two full time jobs (She is a teacher and is also doing a fellowship that will ultimately further her career).
Me - Me too
Friend - ???
Me - I'm teaching full time and I'm a mom full time.
Friend - HA HA
On another note, I ran into an old friend the other day in a bookstore. I had my kids with me, one who she'd met and the little one she hadn't. She said, "So, what have you been doing besides raising babies?" I told her that I was pretty much just sticking with raising babies right now. I feel like that covers it pretty well, so next time I'm asked I might say that.