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February 2012 Moms
sparks2987
member
Father's day.....help me kick the selfish thoughts
sparks2987
member
Okay so DH's birthday and Father's day is the same weekend, I know what I want to get him, a new grill and a tattoo that represents DD. It is going to be pricey.
Now my selfish toughts are kicking in, DH didnt do much for my birthday ( I was 38 weeks pregnant and not pleasant) we went to dinner, no gift or cake, He forgot about mother's day, he worked all day and I didnt even get a card. (he claims he didnt know he was supposed to buy me something, since I am not HIS mom)
Since we have been together 8 years, I always get either combo gifts for Valentines/my birthday because they are close or get one but not the other and this year didnt get anything for either besides dinner on my birthday.
I cant help but think...It's payback time!!! Although I know that is very childish!
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Re: Father's day.....help me kick the selfish thoughts
I understand the combo gifts. I am a Christmas baby, so DH gets off easy each year - he only has to think of gifts once a year + mothers day (we don't do anything but cards on V-day). I worry about this with dd2 since her birthday is 2/13 - she is probably gonna get screwed by future SOs.
I think that you should still step up and buy him the gifts. If you set a good example, maybe he will come around and realize what he should be doing?!? If not, you could always remind him in the future what you did for him.
Did I write this? Oh, nope...it was someone else...but sounded like something I could write! For DH, he did the same thing for Mother's Day (except he did go get me sushi take-out the night before for dinner).
I realized afterwards that I had failed the typical male test - assuming that he would know Mother's Day is something he is in charge of for DS and that I wanted something special. We had a conversation afterwards where he pretty much explained how he just didn't get it. They barely did anything for Mother's Day in his house growing up (knowing his Dad, I totally get this). I gave him a pass this year and let him know how I felt about it for the future. He just didn't even think of it. Some guys just don't get it or grew up in a family that didn't do special stuff (don't even get me started about the lack of birthday parties in DH's family!). It is just another thing we have to teach them!
I admit, I have been tempted to brush off Father's Day, but he might not even notice. In the end, I'll just end up feeling worse because I knowingly didn't do something. Instead I already talked to DH about how DS wants to take him to the zoo for Father's Day (one of DH's favorite places) and we might get him a watch engraved "For my Daddy, Love, Ben" and the date of his first ever Father's Day.
FACEBOOK FEB 12 BUMPIES ADMIN - POST & PM ME TO JOIN
FACEBOOK FEB 12 BUMPIES ADMIN - POST & PM ME TO JOIN
Mine is the 9th and I love sharing it!
You are completely right, I would feel worse if I didnt get him something. He did grow up in a family that doesnt celebrate anything ( MIL hadnt had a birthday cake in 30 years until I got her one, once) My family doesnt do much celebrating either, but I want it to be different for DD, so we are doing every holiday BIG.
Thanks for the persective!
Haha yeah this is my husband. I didn't even get a card either. I decided to do really nice stuff for him so maybe he will know what to do in the future.