Cause for concern or not? (not my kid, neighborhood one)
shaindelr
member
Hi, All,
I thought this would be the board to post this on since there are mamas of kids of all ages. In my neighborhood, there is a little boy who is outside playing in his yard by himself nearly every time I go by. He looks like he's about three, and it's a fenced-in yard, and everything, and he looks healthy, cared for, etc., but it just makes me wonder. The other day, he was sitting in the dirt right next to the fence playing in the dirt, and today he was scooping water in a plastic cup in a kiddie pool. No one is ever outside with him, but the only door closed is the screen door. If I remember who lives there, it's an older lady, so maybe she's raising her grandson or great grandson?
I'm not implying that I think authorities should be called or anything, but maybe if I see the woman, I could introduce myself and bring up the idea of playdates?
What do you think? I live in a rural, low-income-ish town, but most people are out on their porches or in the yard when their kids are playing, and this little guy seems young to me to be outside all by himself so much of the time...
Sorry if it sounds like I'm nosey... I'm just not sure what the "norms" are for this type of thing.
Mac and cheese lover!
Re: Cause for concern or not? (not my kid, neighborhood one)
My 3 (soon to be 4) year old plays outside by herself. By outside, I mean our fenced backyard and I'm right in the great room and can see her clearly from all the windows. The thing that would concern me is that pool. I would never let her be near water that she could fall into and drown, even kiddie pools need adult supervision. If you feel comfortable approaching her for a play date I would do it. Both my girls look forward to and have a blast playing with their friends and cousins.
GL
Not a huge deal. I often have the windows open when the kids are playing outside, and my neighbors can't see me. One of my neighbors said it's funny, because he knows I know what they're doing because they'll suddenly stop (especially if they start to do something they're not supposed to). I keep a pretty close eye and ear right now though, we have no fence yet and no grass. In our old place we had a fenced yard and I was okay with them playing out there, but again, windows were open, and we were very rural, so it was odd to see anyone near or around the yard that didn't belong there (it was very easy to notice). There also wasn't anything they could get into that they could get hurt on.
I don't see anything wrong with inviting them over to play, or even just meet at the park. Maybe she could use a break?
I guess I'm paranoid because I can't imagine doing that. When DS and I are in our entirely private/enclosed back yard I still make him come inside with me if I have to do something.
Still, I agree that just because you can't see an adult doesn't mean one's not there. Maybe introduce yourself but try not to make the independent play an issue.
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Thanks, Everyone... It's one of the closest houses to a park that is kind of "shady" -- so I think that's why I was especially concerned the day I went by and he was right next to the fence playing in the dirt. If I ever see an adult outside, I'll try to make conversation and see what comes of it.
Thanks again!
Mac and cheese lover!
How often is "nearly every time"? Do you go by daily and as such, is it 5 out of 7 days. Or do you go by 3 times a week and you see him out there 1 or 2 times?
Also, is it the same time of day? If so, maybe there is something that the mom/grandmom has to do at that time of day (make dinner?), so that's why the boy is playing by himself.
I'm home alone a lot w/ DS and when it comes to dinner, he has to play by himself for a little while. Sometimes it's outside, sometimes it's in - but he's always in close view.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Shain... I'd probably be more assertive and just go knock on the door sometime, even if the kid's not outside at the moment. Just introduce yourself, mention that you've seen him playing in the yard and were wondering if he'd like to play with your son. The little guy would probably LOVE a playmate or just someone to pay attention to him, but I'm kind of a bleeding heart there.
The grandmother may just be clueless on raising kids these days and not realize that it's not smart to leave him alone so much outside. I'd hate to be thinking about doing something and then, God forbid, something happens to the kid.
Thanks, Again. I'll have to pay more attention. It's a house that's on the way to the grocery stores in my town and on my jogging route, so I would say, I see him outside about 3 days a week. I haven't noticed that it's the same time or anything.
I guess I worried about it when I started jogging by this park and noticed how sketchy it is. Lots of teenage kids hanging out with homeless/transient types to bum alcohol/cigarettes off them... I never noticed that sort of stuff was going on at the park until I started jogging by/through it. (It's not the kind of thing you notice when you drive by.)
If I see the woman outside, I will definitely offer playdates. I don't know if I have the nerve just to go knock on the door.
Seriously, though, thank you. Hearing your views has helped.
Mac and cheese lover!
Violent crime is down nationwide from the 70s and 80s. From what I have read it is actually much safer for kids today (sorry I don't have a link).
The only thing that would worry me would be the pool.
Yeah, that's actually what I was thinking of, too. Or that he'd get out into the street or wander away.. that kind of thing.