Vent--mini public breakdown
My SIL just had a baby. 11 days old. We had a wedding this weekend and I made it through half of the dinner when I needed to go into the bathroom and cry my eyes out. I love my nephew but hearing the constant question from family and friends about when we were going to have a little one broke me down. We didn't tell anyone but parents about the pregnancy or the loss but now I'm regretting that decision a little. I wish everyone would know so I wouldn't have to keep hearing the "When are you guys going to get on the baby train?". I kept thinking that the wedding was going to be the first time people saw us after we announced the news and I was pretty excited about that. To be there with no news and the thoughts in my head, I just couldn't take it.
Sorry--more a vent 
Re: Vent--mini public breakdown
First of all (hugs) and sorry for your loss
I'm kinda dealing with the same thing; my grandma has been telling me since the beginning of the year that I'm "going to get pregnant this year." She even patted my stomach on Mother's Day and said "Happy Mother's Day to you, too!" (little did we BOTH know I was actually pregnant). This is due to the fact that I suddenly started getting baby magazines and coupons sent to my parents house (I haven't lived there for 5 years so it's weird). So when I got my BFP, I was sure that my grandma is a fortune teller...
I never did break the news to her that I was pregnant. I lost it before I got the chance to tell even my mother. I spoke with my grandmother on the phone the other day and she told me I got more coupons and that "someone's sending you a baby from heaven this year for sure." It took all I had from bursting into tears right there on the phone.
Sorry to vent, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone with the thoughts in your head. It's hard to hear people ask you when you're having a baby when you just lost one and they don't know. It's still up to you to tell them, and it's never too late. Go with what your heart is telling you. And come here if you need to vent to those who won't ask you when you're giving us a great-grand-baby!
[spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow
BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010
BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)
3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!
Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500
First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat
LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!
TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015
Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015
Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270
First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.
JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.
TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]
This. I've been very open about my m/c to friends and family because I know it would really make me angry if people started asking things like that.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I just told DH this morning that if we get pregnant again, we're telling everyone. We did the first time, didn't this time and now I regret it. I feel like I'm having to put on a happy face and very few people know what's happening.
So sorry this happened to you. If it's any consolation you're definitely not alone in the breakdown arena, I bawled my eyes out this morning in the reception area of my OB when I went in for follow-up bloodwork. I couldn't even pull it together to give her my name...then I had to wait and the new mom with the baby that was about a month old sat down beside me. Took all I had not to lose it again.
Not sure how I'll get through the follow-up exam in 2 weeks. *sigh*
What an experience
I'm so sorry...
The "world" knows about our loss since we had already announced. Part of me hates how public it is, the other part is glad that I don't have to face the awkward questions and conversations.
People just have no idea how hurtful an "innocent" comment or question can be.
This is what I have been doing as well. It actually kind of bothers me that m/c is so common and yet nobody talks about it.
After my BFP, I read all the info and listened to the dr, etc about how common it is, and yet I never dreamed it would happen to me.
Now I am glad that I do live so far from family, I won't have to listen to them ask about when we are going to have a little one. However if they do, I will have no problem putting them in their place by saying we lost one.
Maybe I am just bitter about it.
bfp: 1/4/2016 duedate: 9/12/2016
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img
I know exactly how you feel...only our question is "When are you going to have another one?" or "Micah needs a little brother or sister!" It's hurtful and people don't know what they are saying. It was hard to hear when we were TTC and now it is going to be even worse.
We are going to Virginia beach with DH's family for a family reunion in 2 weeks and it's going to be so hard. We were going to tell everyone about our pregnancy while we were there. And now we are going to have to deal with having nothing to tell while still grieving plus getting questions like that. I am not looking forward to it. I almost feel like not going, but know that wouldn't be fair to DS.
BFP#1 06/01/09~DS Born 01/29/10 via c/s
BFP#2 05/17/12~EDD 01/18/13~Natural M/C 05/27/12@6w2d
BFP#3 07/03/12~DD Born 03/08/13 via sched. c/s
BFP #4 10/03/13 EDD 06/09/14 SURPRISE!!! On our way to 2u2!
International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)...BF questions/concens welcome!
this- i feel the same way. i sort of wish everyone knew what i was going though so they wouldnt think i was a crazy person whenever i tear-up at the mention of anything baby related.
so sorry you had to go through that at the wedding, i am sure that must have been so hard. my parents are throwing a party for DH's promotion next weekend and that was going to also be a 'yay we are pregnant party'... totally dreading that, as i feel like i will be in the same boat as you with all the 'when are you guys going to have babies?' questions from relatives.
BFP #1 4/10/12, lost at 8 weeks.
BFP #2 EDD 4/18/13. Its a Boy!
BFP #2: 08/23/12; EDD: 05/04/13 ~Please stick little one!!! DS born 05/09/13 at 40w5d
BFP #1: 05/05/12; EDD: 01/01/13; m/c: 05/21/12 ~Forever in our hearts~
Thanks ladies for all the support. One of the main reasons I didn't want to tell everyone is because my SIL just had her baby. I didn't want to have her feel like she had to be careful about how excited she was about her baby. I don't want to take that away from her. I am however regretting part of the not telling people because maybe it would be easier. A guy a work made some baby comment to me and apparently my supervisor told him what was going on. I appreciated that becuase I need someone to push those questions away from me right now.
As I'm sure you're all aware of since your on this board, some days I'm totally strong and have faith that I will get pregnant again adn other days I'm terrified and can't help but breaking down.