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June 2011 Moms
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SAHMs with a 2nd shift DH

LollyBug18LollyBug18 member
in June 2011 Moms
DH is temporarily going to 2nd for 4-6 weeks starting tomorrow and I'm kinda stressing. I have no idea what it'll be like or how I'll get through my evenings with DD w/o him to help, even though when he is home he doesn't help much, especially bc he's studying for this huge test this weekend and is also supposed to be gone a lot of the weekend. I'm also not sure how I'll have any motivation to cook since it just feels pointless when it's just me. I know he can use it (and will need it) for lunch the next day but I still think it'll be hard not to feel completely unmotivated by the time dinner comes. It's by far my hardest time of day right now - I get tired and super nauseous, DD gets fussy and hard to handle. I also don't really want to change DD's day up much (like staying up late to see him and have dinner as a family) since I know it's only temporary. I could really use a "you can do it!" right now as I am feeling very tired and down about the whole situation. What helps you get through the day and specifically the evenings?
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Re: SAHMs with a 2nd shift DH

  • M&M227M&M227

    You can do it!  In the beginning of March I started SAH with DD and DH went to the Philippians for work, while it was difficult getting no "break" I was fine and all turned out well.  

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  • nfrtnynfrtny member

    I'm not a SAHM, but, I work opposite of DH, so I know how stressful and exhausting it can be. I work 30 hours a week and DH works 50. Three nights a week he works 4PM to 2AM. It's difficult, and very lonely. It's very taxing on our relationship but we have to do it right now. 

    I think you just have to get trough the first couple of nights and then you'll say oh hey, this isn't as horrible as I thought. And definitely remind yourself that it's only temporary, and this too shall pass :) GL momma!  

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  • LollyBug18LollyBug18 member
    Thanks ladies, you're right, it could definitely be worse! Can't imagine having DH in another country or crazy shifts like that all the time. And hopefully I'll have a little more energy in the evenings than when I have mornings to myself as well. Still not looking forward to cooking for just me though...le sigh. I'm sure we'll figure it out Smile
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  • Shine2015Shine2015 member
    My DH worked a knock out shift (2 days, 2 afternoons, and 2 midnights every week) for a few years.  Afternoons was by far the hardest for me esp. when it came to cooking dinner so I know how you feel.  It did help though that DH usually came home and wanted to eat so it wasn't like I was just cooking for myself.  Just remember that he doesn't help a lot anyway so it's not like you are taking on a ton of added responsibility.  And it is only temporary.  Consider rewarding yourself with something small at the end of each week to help you get through.  You are a strong mama, and you can do it!
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  • ajc0121ajc0121 member

    You can do it! My DH works OOT for a month at a time and it is all me all day every day. Just get into a rountine and you will be fine. As for the dinner thing if it is just you and you dont feel up to cooking, I buy premade dinners from Market Street that are delicious and healthy (and Caraline eats some of it too). Also if you do feel up to cooking make something with lots of leftovers!

    Idk if you have joined a mom's group but I love mine! We have playgroups and activities a few days each week. I love getting out and interacting with other moms and Cara loves to play!

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  • Epiphany27Epiphany27 member
    I don't SAH but 3 nights a week I'm home alone with DS 3-11. I think its awesome! I get three nights by myself after G goes to bed to watch whatever TV I want and just relax. Dinner is usually something easy to reheat. Look on the bright side, it won't be as bad as you think.
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  • kas80kas80 member

    I'm not going to lie, some days it's very hard.  My husband doesn't work second shift but he doesn't get home most days until 11pm so not only do I do the day stuff by myself but I do dinner/baths/bed etc by myself too.  You'll find your groove.  My suggestion would be to get a bunch of very easy to make stuff (like 15 minutes or less) for the first week or so for dinner.  It took me awhile to figure out how to get Caroline entertained enough to cook a full meal.  Some days it still doesn't happen.  I honestly think that's the hardest part.

    We generally eat by ourselves and I'll set us up at the table and chat with her like I would if I were eating with someone who can answer back.  It's really not that bad.  And now that I can give her bits of my food I don't feel completely like I'm cooking for just myself and that helps.  I'll also immediately pack up lunch portions after making it which also helps me feel like there was a point to cooking. 

     

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  • jen&jay07jen&jay07

    When I was on maternity leave, DH worked either 3-11 or 5-1 all summer. What we would do is make a big meal and eat it before he went to work. He would usually grill something while I got the sides ready. I would treat this as my dinner and just have something light later in the evening.

    Now, I am back to work but only 4 days/week. Typically when I am off of work DH is working the 2nd shift. We still try to have that meal earlier in the day. And what really helps me is to have a schedule to get through those hours. DS has a nap when Daddy leaves, then snack, then a walk around the neighborhood or playing in the backyard,dinner, bath...you get the idea. It makes the time go by quick before he goes to bed. Honestly, I often enjoy my evenings to myself now. DS is usually in bed by 730 and I get a few hours by myself before going to bed.

    You will be fine and these weeks will go by very quickly! Good Luck!

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  • kayjay10kayjay10 member
    You can do it!  I work full time M-F all day and DH works 2nd shift.  I am exhausted by the time I get home from my 90 min commute and then have DD by myself every evening.  I love DH, but I will be honest, I LOVE my alone time with DD.  It's very exhausting if she is in a fussy mood, but most of the time we play just the two of us or go for a walk.  I don't cook dinner.  I feed DD and then just eat a snack or cereal for myself.  I love that I'm the one who puts her to bed too.  It was definitely an adjustment at first, but now we are in the swing of things, it works great for us!
    BFP 1/8/10, MC 1/15/10 | BFP 3/20/10, MC 6/24/10 | BFP 12/13/10...EDD 8/22/11...DD born 6/7/11 @ 29 weeks 1 day Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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