How involved in the baby shower are you??? — The Bump
Baby Showers

How involved in the baby shower are you???

My BFF and mom are planning my shower. I am not clear on how involved is standard for the mom to be....

How much are you doing??? 

Re: How involved in the baby shower are you???

  • The MTB's level of involvement depends entirely on her hosts. If your BFF and mother specifically ask for your input, you can act or suggest accordingly but if not, it's no big deal since it's their gift to you, anyway.

    For my own showers, the only involvement I had was checking to see if the dates worked for me and providing the hosts with addresses.


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  • amb5353amb5353 member
    The only thing I have been asked to do is provide the names and addresses of people I would want to invite.
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  • I was only asked for a guest list...that's as much involved as I got.

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  • kjskjskjskjs
    250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its

    I'm having 2 showers and with them I have 2 very different roles. My mom is planning one of them in my hometown and I have helped pick the date and sent a guest list but she's pretty much made it clear that she'll handle the rest so I'm enjoying that. Even if it goes against my nature (i'm an uber planner and hate surprises) The other shower is being thrown by my SIL (h's sister) and she is basically giving me say in whatever I want since the shower will be held in our city (40 mins from her) I haven't said too much other than I want it to be a pool party co-ed barbecue because I figure there's not that much else to say. I really just want to hang at the pool with my friends and family.

    I think it varies by host(s) on how much the MTB is involved.

  • ccamccam
    5000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I'm having two - one from my Mom and one from my MIL.  I gave both a guest list, that's the extent of my involvement for my Mom's shower.  She'd like the rest to be a surprise to me.  I went with my MIL to the shower venue and finalized the menu, so I was a little more involved with that.  I'd help with as much as they asked me to.


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  • I've been pretty involved. My co-host lives in Maryland and I don't want my mom to have to do all the work until the host arrives in town. We've enjoyed mother daughter trips to the craft store and she'll show me ideas she has and looks to me for the approval. She just knows I'm very simple and she's very over the top and often she will over whelm me. I plan on helping her make food (we're Italian and it'd almost be almost impossible to stay out of the kitchen) and will do any other favors if she asks. I know I'm not throwing the shower for myself and I'm really loving the one on one time with my mom before adding a new one to the family. 
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  • My mom is throwing me a "surprise" shower (quotes because she is a terrible liar). So far the only thing I've been involved in is e-mail her some cute ideas in 1st tri, then she let me taste test the cupcakes she made yesterday (she claims they are for a "family picnic"). 
  • My friend and my mom are throwing mine.

    I was asked about the date since I'm currently living out of town from where the shower is being held and my mom and I have to travel about 3 hours, the guests since I'm in the middle of a divorce it was kind of unclear just who from the fathers side of the family would be welcomed, and the cake flavor since I have a few allergies.

    Other than that I know NOTHING!!! 

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  • I'm having three. One with my mom, I am being incredibly tacky and doing it with Mom. She isn't a planner and we are having a great time planning it. The other two, I am doing nothing except answering questions about what food I like!
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  • I am getting the guest list together, gave several dates that would work and made sure she knew no mushrooms because I have developed a serious aversion to them. I was asked for this... and pretty much that's it. Unless my mom needs more questions. 
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  • All I had a say in was guest list. 

    I would just lay low until you are asked for help 

  • I'm on bed rest so my situation probably isn't normal, plus my mother is famous for delegating things to me and then taking credit.  I have accepted what she has asked me to do because it keeps me busy on bed rest, plus my sister lives a 1000 miles away and these are things she would have done. Probably not good etiquette but its my family situation and I'm rolling with it!

    To be clear I have been ASKED by my mom to do the following:

    I made the guest list and gathered the 2 or 3 addresses I needed, then created the invitations and mailed them.  Although I mailed them from my mom's town b/c I was embarrassed that people would know I made them.

    I ordered the different pieces for the favor and am putting them together.  Inside a pink paper bag will be a package of personalized coffee, a few tea bags and some homemade chocolates.  On the outside of the bag I made a tag that goes with the color theme and is stamped "Thank you so very much" and tied with ribbon.  I didn't mind making the favors since they are a thank you to guests who are giving ME a gift.  My mom may take credit but they are hand stamped and so obviously my work I don't even care.

    I'm rolling with the mindset that I am blessed to be on bed rest but not due to cervical issues so I can sit up and craft all these goodies and that my shower will be wonderful and I'll enjoy it and that is all that matters in the end.


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  • My mom and BFF are hosting mine and have asked me for my opinion on just about everything.  If I truly have an opinion, I give it, otherwise I just tell them it's up to them.  
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  • My mom and SIL hosted my shower so I was just asked what friends if any I would like there (since they had family covered betwee the two of them).Mymom also asked what kind of cake I wanted.


    Oh and they asked when I could do it since I live in another state Stick out tongue

  • My aunt asked me for names and addresses for my husband's family as well as my friends.  That's all, I'm just going to show up!
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  • I wish I was less friend keeps asking me things/getting me in the middle of her and the other hostess.... I'm getting annoyed!

    I believe the guests of honor should only be slightly involved.... know what's kinda going on, and make sure it's what you want, but don't get in the host/hostess way, and you shouldn't have 'jobs to do' or anything like that.

    I can say that, because I've thrown LOTS of showers for people! :)

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