Advice from mom's who have had a previous birth..

chris&kendra1 · May 2012

Hello!

I'm currently reading Birthing from Within and it has a series of questions that new mothers should ask experienced mothers to get a deeper understanding of the process of childbirth. I don't have a whole lot of moms I know in person, so I thought I'd just come here. So, for the ladies who have done this before, please answer one or more of the following questions:

What helped you most when you gave birth?

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

Is there anything you would do differently?

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

Thanks in advance for your posts

ridesbuttons · May 2012

chris&kendra1:

What helped you most when you gave birth? having the room quiet

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? I did not experience anything spiritual

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? I would stay calm and focus on counting/breathing

Is there anything you would do differently? No

What do you wish you had known beforehand? For the labour/delivery?...I guess I would have liked to know that pushing out the baby might take quite a bit of time (1st time for me was 2 hours)

Thanks in advance for your posts

vintagejjane · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth? Everyone telling me I was doing a really good job. Lots of encouragement.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? No spiritual experience.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Absolutely. I loved my home birth

Is there anything you would do differently? ^^

What do you wish you had known beforehand? I was pretty well informed. Nothing surprised me.

CoffeeMommy3 · May 2012

Hi, so some of these questions are really good but as far as the spiritual aspect the birth experience is nothing spiritualy grand. don't even worry about that. But I will answer all of these. I have had 2 natural births and am expecting another...

What helped me most is supportive people around me. Good encouragement from my husband.

I would always do natural birth the same but if intervention is absolutely necessary then so be it.

What I would do differently is always have it in a hospital. I didn't with my 1st and did with my 2nd way better for recovery for mommy. And get a hep-lock, which is a IV starter.

I wish i had know with my 1st that you can bleed out in 10 min. if you hemmorige. that was a wake up moment for me, thought rare it can happen. So at a hospital they get a sample and have a transfusion ready to go if needed.

Good job on doing your reaserch I recomend The bradley method for natural childbirth it is a great book and has very good techniques for birth. Good luck!!

wheelsonthebus · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth? I had supportive nurse and midwife. I think the most important thing I did was staying loose. I swayed and walked through my contractions right up until the end. It was amazing how fast things went once I was up and moving around.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? I'm a pretty spiritual person, but I have to say that I didn't think about it at all while laboring. It was all very instinctual.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Everything.

Is there anything you would do differently? I would really have tried to keep better focus during the pushing stage. Getting worked up only made it harder for me and my midwife.

What do you wish you had known beforehand? Hmmm..this was my second time around so I had an idea of what was going to happen.

judahsmommy1 · May 2012

chris&kendra1:
What helped you most when you gave birth? Hands down, my husband. I should qualify and say that the childbirth class that we took that allowed us to work out communication during labor was what made him so effective. He was wonderful, and prepared, and helped me to trust my body.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? Strange question to me. I'm a spiritual person, and I'm sure that it had an impact on me spiritually, but it is such a PHYSICAL experience. There aren't a lot of life experiences that are much more physical than the experience of giving birth. Honestly, that aspect of it still trumps the spiritual aspect.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Almost everything

Is there anything you would do differently? One. I would have gone back to bed and rotated positions between contractions, sleeping in between instead of choosing the epidural and pitocin when I did. I think things probably still would have turned out the same way, but I wish I had trusted my body over my doula and mom. (They wanted me up and walking. I was too tired for that. I had only slept 2 of the past 50 hours)

What do you wish you had known beforehand? Trust your body over your support people!!! Your support people should help you to trust your body. I should qualify that this goes out the window in emergency situations, but for the most part, your body knows what it's doing.

Thanks in advance for your posts

kami1977 · May 2012

chris&kendra1:

Hello!

I'm currently reading Birthing from Within and it has a series of questions that new mothers should ask experienced mothers to get a deeper understanding of the process of childbirth. I don't have a whole lot of moms I know in person, so I thought I'd just come here. So, for the ladies who have done this before, please answer one or more of the following questions:

What helped you most when you gave birth?

Having a doula with me, she was the only thing that kept me from totally losing it when I had pitocin.   Also being up and moving about, laying down or back was the last thing I wanted to do.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

I actually really enjoyed my birth.   I had an hour and a half of pitocin that sucked, but everything else wasn't that bad. They turned off the pitocin when it was time to push.   I was so relieved and the pushing stage was so short that it was great.   Afterwards I felt terrific and was definitely on a high for the next few days.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

I am planning to use the squatting bar during pushing again.   I feel it helped to shorten the pushing phase for me.   I'm also planning to not get an epidural again because the last time wasn't so bad and we are using a doula again, not the same one as before.   I would still take Bradley classes or some other class to prepare, we didn't for this pregnancy and now I'm kind of regretting it.

Is there anything you would do differently?

This is controversial I'm sure but if my labor starts with my water breaking, I'm waiting until contractions begin to go to the hospital, and telling the hospital a later time for my water breaking.   I'm using a different doula this time because the first one we hired had a much more medicalized perspective of birth than I did, she was still good but there were some issues that we're hoping to avoid this time.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

I wish I hadn't been so freaked out about giving birth. It really wasn't as horrible or bad as I thought it would be.

Thanks in advance for your posts

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kaeti_su · May 2012

chris&kendra1:
Hello!

I'm currently reading Birthing from Within and it has a series of questions that new mothers should ask experienced mothers to get a deeper understanding of the process of childbirth. I don't have a whole lot of moms I know in person, so I thought I'd just come here. So, for the ladies who have done this before, please answer one or more of the following questions:

What helped you most when you gave birth? Hypnobabies, Ina May Gaskin's "horselips" technique, pulling up on my belly.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? It wasn't spiritual. It was fast. I actually felt like maybe I missed out on something because I didn't feel like I had done much of the work. Looking back on it, it was pretty cool, though.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? The techniques that helped most.

Is there anything you would do differently? I wouldn't have asked my husband to call our family when I found out I was 9 cm dilated. It would have been nice to have more time for just the three of us.

What do you wish you had known beforehand? That contractions do not necessarily match the classic description. I felt pressure down low and never on the top-- I had to feel my belly to time when contractions started because I couldn't feel that tightening.

Thanks in advance for your posts

chris&kendra1 · May 2012

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far! These are some really great answers to these questions. It's very interesting to read the different perspectives of birth and the different techniques that worked/didn't work for each person. I have read tons of technique books, but this is the first that approaches it from more of a "mental" standpoint, so I'm enjoying really getting to think about the process in that way.

annabelle.27 · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth?

- a supportive husband, quiet, labouring in the shower, light snacks and water

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

-I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to say there was no "spiritual" aspect.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

-homebirth, waterbirth, no extra guests (husband and medical professionals only), change positions as desired (which I only did with DS2)

Is there anything you would do differently?

-with DS1, I wish I would have lobbied harder to push in different positions. That's probably about it.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

-how difficult recovery would be for me, both physically and emotionally.

footnotegirl · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth?

My husband. He was my rock, rarely left my side for the three days I was in and out of labor. Also, having a sense of humor about the whole thing.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

Can't say I had one really. I'm not what you'd call a spiritual person.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

Definitely the same hospital/birth center. They were wonderful. Likewise doing it without epi and having the hot water tub to soak in.

Is there anything you would do differently?

I would have been a LOT more insistent about not having the fetal monitors strapped to me all the time. Also about pushing to leave on our last day.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

How hard it could be to deal with hospital bureaucracy. Also the fact that while the nurses were GREAT at sharing info with eachother, apparently doctors all hate eachother and refuse to talk to eachother or something. Ugh.

RockyMtnMama · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth?

Yoga breathing and moving around

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

Too hard to explain - it was amazing, but words pale in comparison to the high you get after and how connected you feel to every other woman who has given birth.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

I did do it over...have had 2 births (unmedicated). For the second I used a lot of the same yoga breathing and swaying and self massage on my IT bands that I did before. Also both times I had labor teams to help me that included more than just DH - girlfriends, sister, etc. I loved being surrounded by people who encouraged me and wanted to be there.

Is there anything you would do differently?

Since I did do it over, I got to change some things. For the second I had it outside the hospital (free-standing birth center) - way better even if you had a natural-birth friendly hospital and midwife like I did the first time. I also stayed home longer and took more showers at home during labor. I also left the birth center faster and loved spending my first night at home with the new baby, big brother, and my DH.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

That you can say "no" more in the hospital. The hospital was super natural birth friendly, but also pretty rigid and makes a new mom and someone who isn't in hospitals much a little nervous and stressed. I was GBS positive and I also wish I had known that eating yogurt and taking probiotics or even a round of antibiotics before testing will get you out of the automatic meds b/c that is one thing I think is very low risk if you have a healthy baby. Also I wish we wouldn't have circumcised, but that was DH's push/decision and I let him have that.

bunniekrissy · May 2012

Is there anything you would do differently?

I did a ton of research, reading, etc. on natural birth so I thought I was prepared, but having PIH really changed things and I ended up with Pit and an epi.

Last time I was initially torn between a birth center and staying with my current OB/GYN and I ended up going with the OB/GYN because I had to go in early for spotting. I wish I had done research on the MOST natural birth friendly OB and hospital I could find instead of just sticking with the GYN I'd been seeing, which I have started looking into for my next child's birth.

I wish I had the confidence to say no to the pit when I was in the hospital for a scheduled induction but already in labor (slow) naturally. I knew all the info about avoiding induction, I never wanted to be induced, but when it came down to it I didn't have the courage to tell them no. I was very shook up because my BP had been very high that day, but it was low enough and stable once I checked in to the hospital so I could have very safely given my body a chance to do its thing, given that labor had already started, though slowly.

Alliebooberz · May 2012

What helped me most when I gave birth?

My music. I turned on an artist that I liked and I ended up listening to the same 8 songs for about 15 hours straight lol

What was my spiritual experience? Being told that I'm at a 10 after 21 hours of labor and an hour before That having my OB assault me and bring me back to a four from a ten. And then pushing my baby out as fast as I could before that awful OB could get back to the hospital.

If I could do it over again, I would do almost everything the same.

What I would do differently is not allow ANY vaginal exams. After 20 hours of labor I caved and that almost earned me a csection from the OB who hated that I wanted a natural birth.

I wish I had known the phrase, "I do not consent" it's much stronger than "I don't think so" or "I really don't want that." I do not consent demands that they listen to you.

chris&kendra1 · May 2012

Thanks again! There are some really great tips in here and some things I hadn't already thought about. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to answer!

Haley.Beth · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth?

I hit a point in my labor around 4.5 cm where I was not progressing at all. Dh and I requested everyone leave the room for 2 hours. The nurses agreed if I just held the baby's heart monitor on, which I had no problem with. I got on the birthing ball and held dh's hand and we just relaxed together and talked. By the end of those 2 hours I had progressed to a 6.5.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

I don't know if it was a spiritual experience as much as an emotional one. I was in awe of my body and what I was capable of. After a 23 hour labor I felt like I could take on the world, and my fears of motherhood completely vanished the minute I saw my baby girl.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same?

I had a pain-med-free birth, and wouldn't change it for the world. I was able to use my meditation practice to pull within myself and take everything one contraction at a time, and had a wonderful experience. I wouldn't say I every truly experienced pain, just an intense sensation.

Is there anything you would do differently?

Notice above, I had a pain-med-free birth. Not a natural birth. My water broke the morning of my final doctor's appointment at 41+1 and I still went. That was a mistake. My doctor convinced me to go to the hospital, where I was extremely uncomfortable. My contractions never started on their own, so I consented to pitocin. I know for a fact that had I gone back home, I would have been comfortable and would never have needed pitocin, and I think my labor would have been much easier and faster.

What do you wish you had known beforehand?

I wish I had talked more with my doctor about what to expect after the birth. I was not able to hold my baby immediately after because I was shaking severely, and that crushed me. Also, my hospital claimed that they never took the baby from the room, but I had to fight the nurses to keep her with us.

boogerbearoriginal · May 2012

What helped you most when you gave birth? Quiet room, dim lights, background noise from the TV, shower and honestly, being left alone. I didn't want/need a lot of talking or encouragement it distracted me from relaxing.

What was your spiritual experience of giving birth? Hmmm I don't know if it was a spiritual experience, but in order to go med-free I needed to be very inwardly focused, listening to my breathing and relaxing my body. It was more like meditation than anything else.

If you could do it over again, what would you do the same? Relax, shower, keep people away, stay at home, etc.

Is there anything you would do differently? I would stay home longer, possibly looking into a homebirth for next one, and not let them bathe LO in the hospital. And pushing - I would push when I felt my body telling me to, the Dr/nurses kept encouraging me to push longer than I wanted to and I had some tearing. Obviously I will never know, but I wonder if the tearing was because of the harder/longer pushes.

What do you wish you had known beforehand? That labor can start fast/hard and still be too early to go to the hospital. I was having really mild contractions off and on all day. Then woke up around 2a with regular ones and after ~30mins and a shower I realized they weren't going away. So I started timing them and they were only 2-3mins apart and lasting 60sec - me thinking I was far along was all excited and woke up H to go in. I was at 2cm but they still admitted me. I was really tense/anxious the first few hours at the hospital (stupid nurse didn't help thankfully the one that came after shift change was awesome). I think I would've progressed much faster at home. Looking back I was definitely in the "excitement" signpost - which means early labor.

Good luck! You can do it!

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