Anyone having trouble letting go of career? — The Bump
Stay at Home Moms

Anyone having trouble letting go of career?

I've been working since age 14, and now I'm preparing to be a SAHM within the next 2 months.  I'm having serious issues letting go of not brining in a salary.  I've done everything possible to make sure that we have no debt and that we have a chunk of money in our savings account. 

After paying off our debt, my idea of a "chunk" in our savings account ended up at $5,000 rather then the 8k I was orginally planning.  I don't know if this is a good amount to have or not.  We'll still be able to save some mone with just DH working, but i'm afraid of how drastically our lifestyle will change.

Since paying off debt every month for the past 7 months, we've basically been living off of DH's salary alone which has been a good outlook on how things will be after DS is born.

I'm just scared of not knowing how differen tlife will be without me working, and I can't get over it....anyone have any insight to make me feel more confident about this decision I'm about to make?

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Re: Anyone having trouble letting go of career?

  • It doesn't have to be a permanent decision.  Of the women I know who decided to try to SAH, all but one of them fled back to the office within the first 6 months.  It's not for everyone.
  • You'll also notice that once you stop working there are things you just don't need to buy anymore(work clothes, going out to lunch..etc).  Plus once that baby  comes you and your husband won't be going out as much either so you will save in other areas too that right now you may still be spening on.
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  • I spent 10yrs in college, grad school & internships to get my career so yeah, it was hard to let it go just a couple years into it.  But I didn't really let it go, I am taking a break.  When my DD#1 was about 15mo I did start working at home which would have been awesome but I did not have childcare & I found it REALLY hard to WAH w/out childcare.  I had/have no interest in putting my child in daycare & where I lived you had to pay full-time no matter how many hours you actually used.  It just got so stressful to try & work nights & weekends.  So I have let it go & now only WAH when good friends (from college/grad school) or my DH's firm need help on projects.  It's much better than when I was trying to WAH 20+hours a week, every week.  Our money was tight at first but 4yrs later my DH has gotten raise after raise & our finances are actually very good.  He now makes more than we did combined.  If you end up not liking it you can go back to work.  I for one, know as much as I am loosing out on building my career that I will never regret these precious years.  Good luck!
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  • Thanks Ladies :) I feel a little better about it now!
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  • Hi and welcome to the board!!!  :)

    I think you touched on something almost all of us experience or at least think about: HOW will it all feel once I am not working outside the home anymore.  No matter what advice I was given, NOTHING could prepare me for how I would feel about leaving the workforce, my career, all my time & hardwork in College, my co-workers, my paycheck but I honestly have loved the last 3 years that I have SAH and adjusted really well.  I think you just have to take it one day at a time and make the most out of SAH (be productive, give yourself daily goals, work out, have free/alone time, keep in touch with your friends, join a Mom's Group, etc., etc.) and be sure you give it your all so that if you just aren't happy SAH, you'll know it's the right decision for you to return to work.  :)  

    Best of luck and congratulations - you'll be a mom in such a short amount of time!

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

  • Transitioning from a career to a SAHM is definitely an adjustment---I'm not going to lie to you.

    For me, it just took some time.  I got involved with a Mom's group and got active in the community (programs at the library, Mommy & Me events at the mall, etc).

    The fact that DS keeps me up periodically during the night and the fact that I didn't have to be at work the next day made the adjustment a whole lot easier Big Smile !!!!

    I also do fun things for me like novel reading, shopping, Mom's Night Out, etc.

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  • Everyone else had great advice, but I have one more thing.  It may take you several months to get the hang of being home all day, so don't expect to love it right away.  I'd find myself just miserable by noon, wondering how I was going to get through the rest of the day.  And boy, did it make me crabby to feel so lost!  DH can attest that I was quite a mess those first few months.  Having a baby in January is hard because you can't get outside much, but it will be more fun when the weather warms up and you can get out for walks.


    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and hope it all goes well.

  • We're just TTC, but I understand the feeling.  It has been a big debate for me.  My career choice has defined me for years (even while I was still in school) so to let that all go would completely rock my world - work and social life.  I'm trying to figure out ways to do some sort of work from home either as an in-house person or contract.  I still plan to stay involved in my professional society.  And I don't plan on it being forever.  Maybe even take some distance learning courses to keep my mind active.

    Of course, the specific position I'm in right now doesn't really excite me, it's kind of a holding pattern waiting for the project to progress, so some time off at this point wouldn't be a terrible thing.

  • Thanks, these are all great points!  All big changes are an adjustment I guess :)
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