- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
October 2011 Moms
Chunstad
member
co-sleep question. Cutoff age?
Chunstad
member
Disclaimer=this is not meant to offend or to flame. I'm simply curious
It came out that one of our friends still co-sleep with their 13 year old daughter (kinda). She doesn't want to move to her room, so she sleeps on their floor. Is this 'normal'? Is there a cutoff age for co-sleeping?
Also, my SIL's first husband co-slept with his 13 year old daughter as well, but he'd leave my SIL's bed and co-sleep with his daughter downstairs in the living room. Now, that raised all kinds of red flags for me, but he insisted that they've always co-slept with her her whole life.
Lastly, one of the sweetest things that I've ever done was one time when C was having a rough night, I brought him into my bed and slept three hours with him. It was heaven, and I loved waking up next to his smiling face :-) I've only done that once, since I want him to continue sleeping in his crib.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: co-sleep question. Cutoff age?
It did for all of us. Can you imagine leaving your newlywed wife's bed and going downstairs to sleep with your tween daughter? Now they are divorced, thank God. Their whole family slept with her because they say she was a 'SIDS baby', they caught her not breathing and brought her back to life. I don't know, but now she is a totally entitled spoiled brat.
Whoa! 13 years old?!
DS slept in our bed in a little co-sleeper for a few weeks. Then he was in a cradle in our room until like 4 months. I was sad for a few days after we moved him to his room, but after that it was great! I didn't feel like I had to keep our room so quiet and it was nice to have the cradle gone and get some space back.
That does give me the icky-icks, but I don't think it would if the daughter were climbing in bed with Dad. I slept with my mom now and then up until adulthood, but never regularly. Like maybe if we fell asleep watching a movie or I wasn't feeling well. There's not really an age that makes me think 'that's not okay anymore,' but I really do hope my kids aren't into that sort of thing. I like my bed.
Agreed that the dad sleeping with his 13 year old daughter is creepy, even if she was a "SIDS baby". She's not a baby any more, no risk of SIDS these days. And if she still has issues with not breathing while sleeping then they need to get it checked out and do sleep clinics and stuff.
And I think it's a little weird that your friends' daughter sleeps on the floor of their room, but because she's on the floor not because she's in their room.
One of my parents (usually my dad because I mostly slept in the top bunk of my bunk bed and my mom couldn't climb up there) used to come into my bed when I had nightmares or couldn't sleep until I was probably 10 or 12, but they'd leave again once I fell asleep or calmed down. If they were in bed when nightmares hit, I'd go get into their bed.
We stopped bedsharing with Lily because nobody was sleeping well anymore (well, DH was okay) - she found it too stimulating and would wake up a lot more, and she punches and kicks me when she's in our bed (I have bruises to prove it). Every now and then if I want to sleep in, I'll pull her into bed and she'll nurse and play while we doze. We're keeping her crib in our room until 1 year when the risk of SIDS is gone, then we'll move her to her own room (unless we're going to buy a house around then, in which case I'd hold off until we move rather than rearrange everything). I don't want to continue co-sleeping when she's older, but if she has nightmares or something she'll always be welcome in our bed.
I think the cut-off age is different for every family, and even for each child. We plan to have the crib in our room for any future children, so Lily would need to be out of room by then. But for our last child, who knows if we'll keep them in our room a bit longer?
BFP #1: July 12, 2010 Natural M/C: July 26, 2010
BFP #2: January 30 ,2011 Born: September 29, 2011
BFP #3: January 5, 2013 Born: August 25, 2013
I love bed sharing now and odn't know when we'll stop, but I feel it'll come naturally. 13 is way old to be doing it on the regular, just because you're going through puberty and there are....things....that you might want to be doing alone, you know?
I love waking up next to my baby. Waking up next to a 13 year old would be significantly less sweet.
All my kids co-slept with us. We will start trying to get her in her own bed after 12 months.
Audrey slept with us the longest, she was about 2.5 years old. (
Oliver was in his own bed by 18 months.
We co-sleep because it is easy and it is fun to cuddle them. At 13 it is icky!
I insisted on sleeping with my parents most nights from as early as I can remember until I was like 8 years old. I had irrational fears of home invasion when I was a kid and I would have crazy nightmares all the time. After my parents split (they were incredibly wrong for each other, but I'm sure never having a bed to themselves didn't help the relationship), I continued to sleep with my mom about half the time until I was 11 or so. I slept with her on occasion until I was about 15.
I did not bedshare with them as a baby as far as I know.
We moved Tilly into her own room last week because coming to bed with her in her crib in the same room was bothering her. I miss her, but I know it's better for her and it will make things easier in the long run. If it had been working out well, I probably would have moved her before she turned 2.