Doctor almost made me cry, about weight gain

Airmans Wife · May 2012

Okay so my doctor is a little 'mad' at me if you will. When I first got pregnant I lost right about 10 pounds, never had morning sickness or anything just lost weight. Anyways at 16 weeks I had still only gained 4 pounds and was still down 6 pounds from my prepreg weight. My doctor actually told me to go gain weight! So anyways... I went to my doctor's appointment on Friday and am now up a TOTAL of 21 pounds (from my lightest weigh in at 10 weeks), BUT if you consider my actual prepreg weight (from a few days before I found out I was pregnant) I am really only up about 12 pounds.

I honestly do not see a big deal about this, but she was so mean to me, I almost cried right there in her office. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I am just scared to go back to my 32 week check up because she said I can't gain anymore weight from now til' delivery. I don't know what to do except not eat. I mean I don't eat crazy, I don't really snack, I don't eat junk food and we don't eat fast food (thank you to living in Japan and all the base restaurants close at 9pm, I don't get my midnight cravings lol), we maybe eat out once on the weekend. I guess I just am at a loss of what I should do not to gain anymore weight.

Honestly, I don't look huge I don't look like I've gained that much weight it's all in my belly and boobs if anything. My DH told me to ignore her because they are used to dealing with active duty military women who have to lose their weight really fast. But I guess I just don't want to get yelled at and feel like a mommy failure before my son is actually here.

This could just be a rant/vent but any ideas on what to do to watch my weight? Or should I just ignore her and not worry about it?

punkrockabye · May 2012

I would be pretty angry about a doctor treating me that way. You don't have to be rude while telling a patient that it's best if she watch her weight gain. I wouldn't accept that kind of treatment, honestly.

I am still unsure of whether or not weight gain is counted including what is made up from what you lose... yeah, that makes no sense, so here's my situation: as of last week, I was at my lowest weight, 14 pounds below my pre pregnancy weight. I've lost 14 and gained none. This is even with stuffing my face with way too much food to accommodate the GD diet (which is actually a lot of food, for me). I am very overweight so in the beginning I was told that my target weight gain would be about 15 pounds. So if, at my current weight, I gain 14 pounds to be back up at my starting weight, will they consider me to have gained almost all the weight I should gain? Or do I need to gain that 14 back, PLUS an extra 15? They have said nothing at my appointments and expressed no concerns over my weight loss.

If I was gaining uncontrollably, I wouldn't know what to do, either. I feel like the amount of food I need to eat and the frequency I need to eat it for GD is making me eat WAY too much, so I don't know how I'm losing weight; if I was gaining weight, I'd have the issue of needing to eat enough for GD. But you can't starve yourself or your baby. If the doctor is really concerned, ask her for an explicit meal plan... chances are, she won't be able to provide one, but it can be your way of saying "I don't know what else I can do, so if you want to bully me like this, then tell me exactly how to fix it." You can't go through the rest of your pregnancy on a diet of celery!

Airmans Wife · May 2012

Well I am glad I am not the only one confused by the whole losing weight/gaining weight thing! I actually asked to see a different mid-wife at my next appointment so maybe she will be nicer *crossing my fingers*. But if this next one is rude to me I will ask for a food plan from her, because I seriously can't see where I need to change my eating habits!

Good luck to you on your GD diet!

ks3pink · May 2012

Weight gain is counted from where you start, so you are only up 12 lbs. She is crazy. Ignore her and keep doing what you're doing. Any doctor that made me feel bad about weight gain during pregnancy would catch it from me. There is no need for them to be rude. If she says anything else I would remind her of the weight you lost in the beginning and what your real weight gain is.

ndruley · May 2012

At my last appointment I had gained a total of 19 pounds and my doc who I LOVE said to me "That's a little on the heavy side" and I felt terrible about it for days. People at work have all said to me "You don't even look pregnant except for your belly" and "It's all belly on you!" and "You look great!" So naturally I felt like everyone has been lying to the pregnant woman until I spoke to my BFF who had her first baby a year ago and this is what she said about weight gain...

"I didn't know how much I gained and I turned around when I got on the scale and told the doc I don't want to know how much I weigh. As long as the baby is healthy and doing well then I don't care about the weight gain. After I have the baby I will find out how much I weigh and how much I have to lose."

IMO she is very wise to think this way and it's helped me when my OB said that my gaining 19lbs at 27 weeks was on the heavy side! So try to keep that in mind.

SayAnything84 · May 2012

Eff her. She shouldn't have made you so upset. Maybe the weight gain 'ideals' are different in Japan from the States and thats why she was so stringent with you. I would just continue to eat/drink healthy and not worry about the number.

Nikko Blue · May 2012

I'm so sorry she made you feel that way. I think you're fine and I'd consider you only up 12.

I have an appt today and I'm so scared they are going to say something about my weight. I think there's really only so much you can do to keep it in check. Some people just gain more than others.

linfor2 · May 2012

Wow! I would be livid! I'd prob find a new Dr! She is ridiculous for making you feel this way and you will gain weight these last few weeks and her telling you you cant is just unhealthy! ((Big Hugs)) Hopefully she is nicer and more reasonable at your next appt.

nycteach · May 2012

What's up with these doctors lately? 12 lbs is not excessive and the later stages of third trimester are when baby puts on the most weight so I am not sure how you are magically expected to absorb that. Personally, I'd try not to stress about it and just keep doing the best you can.

dufferoo · May 2012

I don't know if you should really heed her advice or not, but if you want to watch your weight, and you really aren't eating any junk food, you can still watch your meal portions, watch the calories in beverages if you drink anything other than water, and, if you're not already doing so, you can get a little exercise to rev up metabolism.

Crossingfingers · May 2012

Sorry she made you feel that way~ pregnancy and weight gain are so different for everyone, I wouldn't worry about your weight at all as long as you are making healthy choices regarding food choices, portion size, and exercise.

adrianLO · May 2012

Really I would get a new doctor!! I am naturally very thin and with my first I gained 60 lbs. He was healthy and I lost all the weight right away. As of my last appt with this pregnancy I've gained 24 lbs. My doctor says everyone is different. As long as you're eating healthy and taking you're vitamins, I'm sure you'll be fine

Katie0450 · May 2012

Are you seeing a doctor on base? If so, I try to remember that they are used to dealing with members of the military, and maybe not the best versed in bedside manner. At my orientation (a group of 40 pregnant women) we were all told by the nutritionist (ok really YELLED at, drill sergeant-style because the nutritionist was a sergeant) that anything we put on over 20 lbs was too much and we would have to take that off within 6 weeks of having a baby. Clearly, their weight goals are meant for women in the military that have to be "fit to fight" and back in regs by the time they return from maternity leave. I've packed on 23 lbs at almost 30 weeks, and been holding steady there for a few weeks without really trying, so maybe you've plateaued and you'll be at that weight for awhile! The most important thing is that the baby is healthy, and that you're getting the nutrients you need, too. Don't worry about it!

allardr · May 2012

I'm sorry your doctor was rude. Ignore your doctor, you're fine. I've gained way more than you. I've gained 21lbs at 30weeks and my doctor says I'm measuring right on schedule so I can't see how you'd be gaining too much. I feel some doctors have unrealistic expectations. Luckily mine is very much like everyone is different and as long as your eating healthy and exercising she doesn't worry too much as long as your in an exceptable range of gain. Also, I read/heard that the recommended gain is 25-35lbs overall for an average weight woman, you're no where close to that.

strausbaugh9900 · May 2012

i would be so mad!!!!!! I am still under my pre pregnancy weight (as of my last appt in the beginning of May) but I feel huge.....all belly! I asked my dr if he was concerned and he said nope. He said I lost a lot in the beginning but she is healthy and so am I so no concern. I go back to the drs the day after vacation! Not sure what I was thinking scheduling my appt then (LOL) but oh well. I dont overeat but you know how vacations can be! Smile

JayandEmm · May 2012

Dude. Fxck all these doctors that think 20 lbs at this stage is "heavy". I was under the assumption that that was a normal weight gain. Ive gained 18 lbs and my midwife didnt blink an eye at that. She just told me I was still on a good track to gain 30-35 lbs.

And technically you're up 12 not 20.

I say to completely ignore anyone that gives you grief about weight gain. We're pregnant, it isnt like we can diet to stop gaining weight.

Airmans Wife · May 2012

Thank you ladies. You have made me feel so much better! Next appointment if my weight is brought up again I will kindly remind her that I did lose 10 pounds before I started gaining weight. And I did request a different a MW for my next appointment, so hopefully she will be nicer!

Airmans Wife · May 2012

ndruley:
"I didn't know how much I gained and I turned around when I got on the scale and told the doc I don't want to know how much I weigh. As long as the baby is healthy and doing well then I don't care about the weight gain. After I have the baby I will find out how much I weigh and how much I have to lose."

I really like this thinking! I might tell my doctor/MW that I don't want to hear a number anymore and I will worry about it come August. As long as my baby is healthy I'll worry about my weight later.

lily225 · May 2012

I am sure it's been said already, but definitely ignore your dr. I think that is a pretty extreme weight gain suggestion. 21lbs for an entire pregnancy? And really, only 12lbs if you go by your pre-pg weight. Even the newer suggestions of 20-3lbs still has you able to gain another 8lbs.

Definitely ignore your dr., talk to her about it if she brings it up again, and just keep doing what you're doing. I think it's horrible when Dr's. put SO much stress and pressure on a woman's weight gain during pg. Sorry you're having to deal with that.

babypaloozyvan · May 2012

I'm not sure who these crazy doctors are, but my doc is so happy with my weight gain. I'm about 23 pounds so far and when I spoke to the doctor last, she said "good, baby is growing nicely". I've been told that if I am around 30 lbs by delivery, then I am at my ideal total weight gain.

Considering I only have about 10 weeks left and most times the last couple of weeks you don't really gain, I'm right on track. I am a little over 5'6" and started at 135 (considered ideal for pre-preggo), as of this morning, my scale said 158.

Besides, your LO can't weigh more than 3 lbs right now, so you would at least want to gain another 3-5 lbs I would think. You and I have the same due date too, so if she were my doctor, she would really let me have it! LOL! Don't sweat it too much, seems to me you are just fine, IMO.

kokokat · May 2012

Airmans Wife:

she said I can't gain anymore weight from now til' delivery. I don't know what to do except not eat.

That's insane, and impossible. Does she not want your baby to grow to a normal sixe before it's delivered? Just in baby alone, you'll put on a few more pounds. Don't listen to her. If you were a normal weight before pregnancy, you'll be fine. This is what your body needed to do. My doctor told me he doesn't really get concerned until women start showing up in the 40+lbs range. Like you, I lost about 10 lbs in 1st tri as well, and wasn't sick. My body has been gaining, just at a slower rate than I thought it would, but everyone's different. It's not like the 21lbs you gained is 51lbs! I think your doc is being a bit dramatic. Just try to eat as much fruit and veg as you can, whole grains, etc. and you'll be just fine. If your doc continues to make you feel bad, you need to speak up.

ETA: Forgot to add, yes, your total weight gain is from where you first started at the beginning of the pg. So, you're only up 12 lbs, which is totally fine. I'm up about 10, and my doc said that was on the low end of what most people are at this stage, and you're right in that range too. So being told that you're not allowed to gain more is ridiculous.

Andreabks · May 2012

wow, i agree with pp that there is no reason for a Dr to be rude/mean about it.

I started my pregnancy way up from where i'm comfortable (thanks to 2 lost pregnancies and not being able to get it all off) my doc wasn't mean about it, but reminded me to be careful this time around.

shanns81 · May 2012

Was she upset that you gained that much total or was she upset that you gained too much in a 1 month period? I know that they frown upon gaining too much within a month. Maybe she just didn't specify that?

Mrs. Rohde · May 2012

I'm sorry your doc made you so sad

I agree with all the pps. Everyone is different and to tell you to not gain anymore weight is insane. You've only gained 12. You're SO fine.

Airmans Wife · May 2012

shanns81:
Was she upset that you gained that much total or was she upset that you gained too much in a 1 month period? I know that they frown upon gaining too much within a month. Maybe she just didn't specify that?

Actually that was in a 2 month time frame! I hadn't been seen since my 20 week check up and they actually didn't weigh me then! So really the last time I got weighed was at my 16 week appointment, so from 16-28 weeks!

krismott25 · May 2012

Ummm I'd tell you dr to go F herself. 21 lbs isn't that bad to begin with and considering it's really more like 12. Definetly don't stop eating. Your baby needs the nourishment. I've gained 46 lbs (With twins but still!!) And my doc has not said a word! I see 6 drs and 2 MFM's in the practive and not a one of them has said anything. They should never make you feel like this. EVER!

Andreabks · May 2012

oh, forgot to mention, my OB says 1/2 lb to a full lb a week in 2nd and 3rd tri is perfectly normal. She doesn't start counting any weight gain untill 12 weeks (after blood volume increases ect in the begining). even then, 21 lbs by now would be fine.

I was told for my height/starting weight (being a little heavier) that 15-25 was ideal, but up to 30 would be ok for me. if you only have 10 weeks left, at a pound a week you'd still be right around the 30 lb mark and that shouldn't be that bad, unless they are worried that you gained to much too fast?

acoop719 · May 2012

at my 28 week check-up I was up 15 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight, and my doctor never said anything about it. She had actually told me at my last appt that if anything I could stand to gain a little.

I would definitely not stress about it. Baby is gaining lots of weight this last trimester, and I think that not eating when you are hungry because of a dr. is not a good idea. If it were me I would ignore the dr, and if a big deal is made about it at your next appt tell them that you are not eating out of the ordinary, but you are pregnant and not going to starve yourself just to fit into a number that they think is right for you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Sorry you had such an uncomfortable appt. I'm sure you are going to be an awesome mom. If it makes you feel better my sister gained 40 lbs. during her first pregnancy and her baby is totally normal and healthy. :-)

runnergirl79 · May 2012

I'm sorry.

I've gained 24 lbs., and my dr. seems to think that's just fine. I was heavier than my last 3 pregnancies starting out, too. I wouldn't worry about it.

TayLindsey · May 2012

This actually makes me feel alot better bc I had the same exact situation at 27 weeks gaining 19lbs and I was soo upset. I tried explaing to her that before being pregnant I was at the gym 3-4 times a week and in the last month I was having major problems with my pelvis and hips from my bones shifting and wasnt able to go to the gym maybe once a week to onces every other week. That didn't make any difference to her she told me to just stretch and get my butt to the gym, which I don't know how that'd help since my hips and pelvis expanding are skeletal and not muscular problem. Now I'm just forcing myself to go to the gym even if I just walk on the treadmill at the slowest speed possible. I just feel better knowing I am not alone.

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