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December 2012 Moms
JessAnnJ
member
No sex in over 4 weeks
JessAnnJ
member
I don't know how many others are struggling with this but our sex life is nonexistent right now. We had sex the day we found out I was pregnant but the morning sickness soon kicked in and the thought of sex is very unappealing to me right now.(I was also on two weeks of pelvic rest). I haven't even really been into much kissing because it makes my queasiness worse. My poor husband is definitely frustrated with the situation and I feel terrible. Don't get me wrong he understands that I'm sick, but he's a man and over a month is a long time and there is no end in sight. This first trimester is really taking it's toll and I still have a way to go.
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Re: No sex in over 4 weeks
H and I just started The Sex again. H was too nervous about that baby and didn't want to, and I was too sick - so at least we weren't "missing" it too much. I did for the past week or so and had to convince H it was ok.
If your H is patient and understanding, it shouldn't be a long sexless time while your pregnant. Once you're feeling better your drive will probably pick up some. I've also hear sex drive increase in the 2nd semester. You just need "time". Good Luck!
Thanks! I'm glad we are not the only ones that took a long break. I started to feel better for a couple days and then today was one of my worst days. I will definitely try to take advantage of my next good day. Fingers crossed for a high sex drive low morning sickness second trimester.
Sorry but there's no way Im sexually satisfying anyone when I'm hovering over a toilet all day.
OP your H will have to buck up and deal with it. The sickness should get better soon, so if you want sex, it should be enjoyable. You don't owe him sex. He owes you understanding and no pressure.
I was on pelvic rest for 5 months. He didnt die. A real man, while disappointed, will understand there are reasons.
Also, he needs to prepare for the post partum lack of sex too. And I guarantee nobody will want to offer bjs and handjobs when they're caring for a crying newborn 24/7.
Its a whole new world right now yo.
Your post made me giggle. The problems are -TMI Warning- 1) I have bad wrists. I hurt them a couple years ago and I get burning comparable to what carpal tunnel feels like when I use my hands a certain way; and 2) I can't even brush my teeth without gagging. I guess I will have to get more creative than my teen days :-)
Sorry for the double post. It will only let me edit it, not delete it.
Very true. I guess he didn't think the lack of sex would happen so soon. He is understanding, I think it's my guilt more than anything. I'm very spoiled my husband has been doing 100% of the household chores since I've been pregnant but before that he still did most of the chores. The pregnancy has made him want to be intimate more and me less. I just wish I were better at the moment in returning the intimacy. I will definitely work on that.
Intimacy doesn't have to equal sex. Or sexual related things. Cuddle, spoon, hold hands, be romantic. Buy a little massager and give each other backrubs, have an in house picnic on the carpet.
We've only had sex once since my BFP. I was also really sick, throwing up multiple times a day, bloated, headaches. We show our intimacy in other ways, we cuddle a lot, snuggles, little kisses. We feel connected. If I'm feeling well enough, he might get a bj, but sometimes, I just flash him my bigger boobs so he has a visual.
We also make sure we are communicating so we are don't lose that intimacy.
God luck!
Yes, same boat regarding pre-pregnancy sex as well. I think that is part of what makes me extra sensitive about this subject. Good luck to you guys too!
Also true. We do have some intimacy but even there I am not in the mood for much often either I'm too hot or my stomach is too queasy to cuddle, not in the mood to kiss because I'm feeling queasy all the time. I'm kinda a whiny selfish B lately. I like the massager idea. That will be a nice surprise for him and a good way to say thank you for everything he has been doing.
2 Angel Babies 9/11, 2/12
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012
Honestly, I don't feel like having sex at all and we have only had sex 3 or 4 times in the last 10 weeks. DH hasn't complained at all and he wouldn't, he knows how I feel and is okay with it. I'm just never in the mood and when we do have sex it is uncomfortable and I can just never seem to get into it.
We actually talked about having sex last night and when we actually got in bed I told him I didn't feel like it so he said okay and we just watched tv. Later though he was having trouble sleeping so I told him to just go take care of himself, he did and fell asleep not even 10 minutes later lol.
I feel no guilt at all about the lack of sex, it is what it is.
We did...
Honestly, it was ME who was getting annoyed and not my husband.
He got a new game and between work and that game, the last time we had sex was WHEN I got pregnant.
It had been two months and I finally said something to him about it because I was feeling like crap due to his lack of interest.
Hopefully once you are in the second trimester, you'll feel better and want to go with it.
I am a little over 13 wks along and since finding out (to the day at 4 wks) we have only had sex twice. I haven't felt like it and I'm so uncomfortable everytime he touches me (he likes to drum on my back haha) I say "ow" or if he touches my boobs it hurts and I say "ow" and so on...
There's something to be said about feeling sexy on a "fat day" and I've been having a fat day for the past 6 weeks or so. I did find that taking a day for myself when I was feeling okay: I cut all my hair off (donated over a foot of it!) and got my nails done and got some cute, although much larger, bra and panties. I just dealt with the bloat and put the moves on him while kind of making a joke about how much bigger everything was... and we did it and it was like he was my new bf all over again, haha! He was mostly interested in my larger than life boobs, anyways.
I have to say sitting and talking with him about how big I am and how uncomfortable it's making me really seemed to help because I got to hear from him that he's not just looking at me thinking I'm some huge cow--I'm carrying HIS child and I'm growing a human and that's no easy task!
I definitely don't think that we're going to be love-making machines anytime soon, but at least being close to him and kissing him (more than a hi/bye kiss) really helped me relax about it, too.