Stopped breastfeeding

k8edgerton · May 2012

Any mom's out there that have not been able to breastfeed? I am unable to produce milk (due to a surgery) -- and it is absolutely killing me. I just need someone to tell me that it is okay to give my baby formula. I know the most important thing is to feed the baby but I really wanted to give her my milk. I am weepy all the time about it. I think about it and just start crying (hormones). I just need some reassurance.

kelseybooth · May 2012

I had almost the same problem. My daughter was in NICU for 5 days after she was born, and they instantly fed her formula. They would not let me breastfeed her for the first 24 hours and they also wouldn't give me a pump for 12 hours after she was born. They built up her stomach quickly to the point where we got home and she was drinking 4 oz every 5 hours, and i was only making about an ounce total every 3 hours. I kept trying and trying and nothing would work. I beat myself up over it until finally I decided to stop trying and just give her formula because the stress of it was too much. When I finally told my fiance that I didn't want to try anymore, his response was "thank you" because my attitude about it was affecting him. He LOVES being able to feed her without any help from me. It makes him feel more important. So don't beat yourself up over it. There are more babies fed by formula now a days than breastmilk. If it wasnt okay to give to a baby, they wouldnt do it in the hospital. they wouldnt give you an option. feel better

morethancottoncandy · May 2012

I am sure you are completely disappointed, but you can't beat yourself up over this. The most important thing is that your baby is fed and happy. Don't spend your time being stressed and sad.

kris_kelsey · May 2012

For totally different reasons I stopped breastfeeding (DD's food allergies). It was still a choice and it is one I play over in my head. I still thin kI did the right thing but it breaks my heart because I wanted her to have MY MILK. I wanted that daily satisfaction that I am fulfilling her needs. I wanted that sleepy grin when she was done that said, "aww, thank you mom." yep, I get where you are coming from.

I have to tell myself that this may not be the best for every baby, but this is the best for her. I wasn't happy trying desperately to change my diet so that she could tolerate my milk, she wasn't happy, and my family was suffering. Now she is happy, and I have to learn to be satisfied as well. I think it will get easier with time, but some of my friends say there will be certain days or people say certain things that will still piss you off or make you sad.

I guess I don't have great advice because I am struggling with the same thing, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.

jeffsjayme · May 2012

Emotionally, I did way better once I accepted that I wasn't going to be breastfeeding. I had had a breast reduction and that made my supply too low. It was a really hard decision, but once I was fully on board with my decision, it was incredibly freeing. Each feeding became more about me enjoying my LO than fighting my emotions. But I had to accept it first - that took time.

Heather8888 · May 2012

I have been where you are at... I had supply issues with my little boy and struggled for 3 months until I finally realized it was ruining my time with my newborn. I was crying and stressed about it every day.

The most important thing your baby needs is a happy healthy mom. He needs love. Dont beat yourself up. He is going to thrive on formula and its going to be fine. Imagine what you would say to a friend in the same situation and then be that gentle on yourself...

mrs+harlow · May 2012

I have had supply issues from the get go and have tried everything under the sun. In fear of being harassed and talked down to from lactation consultants and LLL I have tried to increase it on my own. I have very small breasts and think I might have a glandular issue , which would make sense after a mammogram/ MRI done last summer for a breast cancer scare.

I continue to pump, but despite teas, power pumping, pumping every two hours I can only get about 1-2 oz. a session...not even remotely enough to keep up with L's 4 oz every 3-4 hours.

You can't beat yourself up over it. There are many healthy formula fed babies and there's nothing wrong with formula feeding.

Maizey317 · May 2012

I feel your stress and pain. My baby lost a lot of weight after he was born, and to bring it back up the hospital had me supplement with formula via finger feeding with a syringe and tube. I was apprehensive about it, but knew that if it wasn't necessary for my baby to grow, the hospital wouldn't have had me supplement. I also wasn't producing very much. I met with a lactation consultant, and tried to continue to breast feed once I got home from the hospital. Baby and I had so much trouble. He would kick and scream and just wouldn't latch on properly. In turn I would get so stressed out and angry that I couldnt breast feed him. I cried every time I had to feed him..which was often!! It was really affecting my self esteem and my relationship with my husband. I don't blame the hospital for the poor latch since we never used bottles with nipples. Sometimes it just doesn't work. That's why formula was created..for situations like this in which it's just impossible to breastfeed. Your baby is most important, so you need to put your feelings on formula aside and do what you need to do to feed your baby. I had so much apprehension about it, since everyone around me was all about me breast feeding. I had visions of my breastfeeding him till at least a year old. I ended up breastfeeding for his first 3 weeks of life, so he got a lot of the main nutrients he needs in the beginning. I had to swallow my pride and just begin formula feeding. And boy, did I ever see a difference in my baby, as well as myself. My husband did too. I am so glad I decided to switch. I can relax more when I feed him. I can actually ENJOY feeding him now, and bond with him. (something I couldnt do struggling with breastfeeding.) Don't feel bad, or beat yourself up over this. Everyone and every baby is different. Who knows, if you ever have another child, you can always try breastfeeding that one, and it just might work out better. That's what our pediatrician told us. It was very helpful advice. My guilt subsided within a week or two.

starrynight1658 · May 2012

Maizey317:
I feel your stress and pain. My baby lost a lot of weight after he was born, and to bring it back up the hospital had me supplement with formula via finger feeding with a syringe and tube. I was apprehensive about it, but knew that if it wasn't necessary for my baby to grow, the hospital wouldn't have had me supplement. I also wasn't producing very much. I met with a lactation consultant, and tried to continue to breast feed once I got home from the hospital. Baby and I had so much trouble. He would kick and scream and just wouldn't latch on properly. In turn I would get so stressed out and angry that I couldnt breast feed him. I cried every time I had to feed him..which was often!! It was really affecting my self esteem and my relationship with my husband. I don't blame the hospital for the poor latch since we never used bottles with nipples. Sometimes it just doesn't work. That's why formula was created..for situations like this in which it's just impossible to breastfeed. Your baby is most important, so you need to put your feelings on formula aside and do what you need to do to feed your baby. I had so much apprehension about it, since everyone around me was all about me breast feeding. I had visions of my breastfeeding him till at least a year old. I ended up breastfeeding for his first 3 weeks of life, so he got a lot of the main nutrients he needs in the beginning. I had to swallow my pride and just begin formula feeding. And boy, did I ever see a difference in my baby, as well as myself. My husband did too. I am so glad I decided to switch. I can relax more when I feed him. I can actually ENJOY feeding him now, and bond with him. (something I couldnt do struggling with breastfeeding.) Don't feel bad, or beat yourself up over this. Everyone and every baby is different. Who knows, if you ever have another child, you can always try breastfeeding that one, and it just might work out better. That's what our pediatrician told us. It was very helpful advice. My guilt subsided within a week or two.

I could have written this word for word. I found myself in the same situation, and our son was developing all kinds of health problems because he was losing so much weight. The relief I felt once we switched completely to formula and saw how much happier it made LO was incredible. Sure, I feel guilty at times, but formula isn't poison.

flipflop88 · May 2012

The same thing happened to me with my DD and now is happening with my DS. I breastfed and supplemented with my daughter to 6 weeks. With me DS it seemed like mixing formula and nursing him was causing extreme discomfort. I stopped nursing yesterday and completely switched to formula. He seems so much more happy, I am still struggling with it but it has got better. The most important thing is we are feeding our children.

meeko1985 · May 2012

Heather8888:
I have been where you are at... I had supply issues with my little boy and struggled for 3 months until I finally realized it was ruining my time with my newborn. I was crying and stressed about it every day.
The most important thing your baby needs is a happy healthy mom. He needs love. Dont beat yourself up. He is going to thrive on formula and its going to be fine. Imagine what you would say to a friend in the same situation and then be that gentle on yourself...

This is really good advice. I'm going through a similarly situation. I tried absolutely everything, worked with two different lactation consultants, and am still unable to prodyce enough breadtmilk. I can relate. I really do feel like a failure. And I definitely feel judged by others and even myself. It breaks my heart giving her the formula in the bottle. You are not alone. I'm sorry that anyone has to go through this and feel this way.

christinakprice · May 2012

Heather8888:

I have been where you are at... I had supply issues with my little boy and struggled for 3 months until I finally realized it was ruining my time with my newborn. I was crying and stressed about it every day.

The most important thing your baby needs is a happy healthy mom. He needs love. Dont beat yourself up. He is going to thrive on formula and its going to be fine. Imagine what you would say to a friend in the same situation and then be that gentle on yourself...

This was me with DD, someone had to actually tell me that Formula is not the F word. I will try again this time with LO but will not be as stressed about it if it doesn't happen. I have a thing of formula ready to go just in case.

littlemurry · May 2012

I also had such problems with breastfeeding starting with flat nipples and latching(didn't even know it was a thing until the lactation consultant told me). It was recommended that I pump to help pull them out which it did but we still had such trouble with latching and then with producing enough. I pumped as long as I could but only produced 1 oz in 4 hours which wasn't nearly enough. After 2 months of both of us being miserable with fighting each other when we tried to breastfeed, I finally made the decision to stop. Best thing for the both of us. Now we enjoy each other so much. I love looking into her eyes when bottle feeding.

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