I feel so close to those women and I want to keep track of how they're doing but it was hard today to see a whole bunch of 'felt the baby move', 'dad felt the baby kick' kind of posts. That's what I should be writing right now instead of this pity party post.
It is sweet to see so many of them with the badge they made me in their siggies, that chokes me up every time, that they cared enough to do that for me and my little guy.
I'm in such a weird place right now, I like being able to post some support for the women on the Loss boards and I hope it helps, but I also feel like I still need a lot myself. The only thing that helps me is to think about the future and how that will be me again some day soon.
Ok, pity party over!





Re: Ugh, why do I lurk on my old BMB? (Pregnancy mentioned)
It's so sweet that they are wearing that badge.
I try not to do this to myself, although every once in a while I venture there..and run myself into an abyss of emotions. *Hugs* I know how you feel.
נשמה שבאה לעולם למספר חודשים לשהות במעי האם, היא נשמת צדיק גמור שבאה לעולם רק לתקן פגם קטן ולאחר מספר חודשים אלו היא שבה למקומה לגן עדן להתענג על ה'. לעתיד לבוא נשמה זו תוכר באחד מבנייך ובזכות נשמת צדיק זה תזכי להיות במחיצת צדיקים
TTC Since September 2011
BFP#1:Dec.1.11 EDD:Aug.09.12 MC:Jan.11.12 (9WK5D)-Natural
BFP#2:Apr.18.12 EDD:Dec.21.12 MC:May.1.12 (6WK3D)-D&C
BFP#3:Sep.12.12 - Suspected CP | BFP#4:Dec.1.12 - Suspected CP
BFP#5: Dec.26.12 EDD:Sep.10.13 MC:Jan.7.13 (4WK6D)-Natural
BFP#6: Jun.11.13 EDD:Feb.23.13 Beta: #1=8000 #2=24532 US@6wk2d showed 7wk2d size with 143BPM HR * NT US@12wk6d looked good. A/S passed with flying colors and our team color is Blue! *Grow my little Pamplemousse*!!!
I'm with you--thinking about the future is the only thing getting me through the present. It WILL be us again someday!
I am so sorry, sweetie. It hurts and I totally understand that desire to keep tabs on a group that you felt you deserved to be a part of always.
That is so sweet that even though you feel you don't beling there anymore they continue showing you their support.
My Blog: One Emerald
BFP#1: 9-13-11 EDD: 5-26-12 MMC: 11-4-11 D&C: 11-8-11
BFP#2: 7-6-12 Elizabeth Faye ("Zuzu") born 3-21-13
It's a strange balance, supporting others while still grieving. It's something I've come to embrace and kinda understand, because those who are also grieving are going through the same emotions and experiences, and understand your pain the best. It makes me very grateful for this board!!
I understand your desire to lurk and I'm SO glad they have a badge for you! I'm so sorry for the pain that those topics bring... I know how much it hurts. It's totally not a pity party, it's you letting out your pain, and that's why we're here for each other!!!{{{hugs}}}
Our TTCAL Blog--Newbies and Lurkers Please Read!
♥♡♥ PAL/PGAL welcome♥♡♥BFP 4/18/12, M/C 4/27/12 at 6w6d
BFP 7/1/12 - Counting down to our little girl, EDD 3/8/13
BFP #2 04/25/12 EDD 01/04/13(?) confirmed ectopic 05/16/12 6 wks 5 days 2 doses of MTX-Lost left tube on 05/25/12 Back to TTC, earlier than originally expected.
BFP #3 01/05/13 EDD 09/17/13 u/s 1/24/13-great appt, measuring 2 days ahead, NT scan 3/11/13-great scan measuring 4 days ahead, A/S 4/29/13-another great scan can't wait to meet my baby BOY!!!!!
My Blog
My Sweet (and Spoiled) Furbaby Cali
PgAL/PAL Welcome
I'm so sorry. I was on the Oct board too. In fact, it looks like we got our BFPs on the same date :-( I have managed to avoid the board completely, despite feeling tempted pretty often. But I also wasn't on it for as long.
((((hugs)))) to you.
TTC #1 since Sept 2011
BFP#1 1/31/12. Empty sac discovered 3/5/12. MTX due to location in uterine horn.
BFP#2 2/27/13. Empty sac confirmed 3/20/13. Mifepristone + cytotec.
Currently TTA until Fall 2013, waiting for operative hysteroscopy
Blog Chart
BFP #2~5/25/09, DD born 1/27/10
BFP #3~2/13/12, EDD~10/24/12, MC at 12w6d, D&C - We love you baby Addison
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
HUGS. I hope you do too.
Most people only dream of angels. I held one in my arms.
WEBSITE:?Olivia Marie? BLOG:?Missing Our Angel Olivia?
All AL Welcome
BFP #2: 8/31/12 EDD: 5/18/13 Chemical pregnancy: 9/4/12
BFP #3: 5/17/13 EDD: 1/24/14 Loss at 5 weeks: 5/29/13
Lots of testing, all clear with the exception of compound heterozygous for the MTHFR mutation.
Cycle 1: Femara, trigger shot, Bravelle added due to slow response = BFN
Cycle 2: Cancelled due to two cysts =(
Cycle 3: Femara, Bravelle, trigger shot and IUI = BFP then loss #3
Cycle 4: Femara, Follistim, trigger shot and IUI = BFP! EDD: 6/7/14
PGAL/PAL welcome
BFP #2 9/5/2012 -- Born 5/20/2013 -- Welcome, rainbow baby!
BFP #1 1/24/12 -- No HB 2/16/12 -- Misoprostol 3/10/12
You must have been part of your BMB since you got your BFP, so I can only imagine it's nearly impossible to not wander over there to check on them.
I'm glad you're here, even though I'm sad you have to be. The beautiful thing about a loss board is the balance of old and new--you get to see the progression of working through your loss. Those who are fairly far out from their loss are not only a source of information, but can show us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Experiencing a pregnancy loss is often a woman's darkest, most depressing time. There are so many who have made it through, and you will too.
Big (((hugs))) for you. That's what we're here for.
(Hugs). I think it's great that they made you a badge and are supportive. And I think you are a better person than me for still wanting to be supportive!! I couldn't . . I used to go to my BMB and then I just had to quit.
BFP 4/4/12 CP 4/10/12
9/20/2013 Came home with our little miracle from the Philippines
11/26/2013 Surprise!!! BFP!
