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Single Parents
non custodial parent relocating
Hi,
My divorce will be finalized on June 12th. We get along pretty well and have worked out a custody agreement that works for everyone involved. Currently he lives about 7 miles from my house but due to his work will be sent out of the state in about a year (he will not be in driving distance of us). My question is has this happened to anyone else and if so what kind of visitation the father receive from the court.
My ex keeps harping on about getting to see her 90 days out of the year (not all at once). She is so young that I cannot imagine her even in a year being away from me for extended periods of time but am concerned what a judge would recommend.
Thank you,
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Re: non custodial parent relocating
A lot will depend on how old your daughter is when his move occurs. Many judges won't order a child under two to be separated from the mother for that long of a period of time. After that, a judge will want to do whatever can be done to foster the father-daughter relationship.
A year is a long time away and lots of things can change. Don't worry about that bridge until it is burning.
Here, there is a Standard Possesion Order, a Modified Standard Possesion Order, an the long distance Standard Possesion Order.
SPO says 1, 3, and alt 5 weekend of the month. With 2 weeks in the summer, alternating major holidays, and shared birthday. Father's Day/ Mother's Day are with that parent.
MSPO is for children under 5 or children who need time to adjust to the NCP (aka in and out Dads). Liberal visitation 3x a week up to two hours at a time with 4 hours one very other Saturday OR Sunday, gradually increasing to 8 hours every other Saturday OR Sunday and one evening a week for 4 hours. Shared holidays, shared birthday. No overnights until age 5 or child feels comfortable in the relationship.
LDSPO is for NCPs living 100 miles away. 1, 3, OR 5 weekend of the month. NCP comes to YOU at their expense. They get all of Christmas, Spring, and Thanksgiving breaks, but the actual holiday is alternating. 6 weeks in summer with the Mother having access to at least 10 non consecutive days.
Here, it's also considered the last resort. A lot of NCPs will go for the SPO and MSPO thinking they have a better deal. But, Texas believes two parents can cooperate and come up with anything better for the child. There is no 90 days thing here. You have the PCP and the NCP, and the NCP will always have to pay child support at the state req unless otherwise negotiated between parents. Custody nearly always favors the mom, and unless the parents agree, one parent will always be the primary physical custodian. They prefer not to do joint custody.
That's what I should have said. I think the overdone pumpkin in my belly is causing me to lose my skull.
I live in northern Virginia. I have not seen a lawyer yet, we agreed verbally on custody etc. and he is having his lawyer draw the paperwork up (I have not signed anything yet). My understanding is when he moves away he will have to file to modify the current arrangement. I want him to see his daughter, but she is so little I cannot see it being healthy for her to be away from me for long periods of time.
I am just trying to make sure that I do what's in her best interests and not let my emotions get in the way. When the time comes I will definitely seek a lawyer's advice but wanted to know what I might expect when the time comes.
Thank you for all your advice.
Ditto the DON'T SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT A LAWYER OF YOUR OWN!!!
Yes, I know I am internet shouting, but the previous poster is correct. Your husband's lawyer is working for your husband's interest, not yours. Your husband's lawyer owes you no obligation. He/She doesn't have to tell you that you are eligible for more under the law. He/She doesn't have to tell you that this is not in your best interest. Only a lawyer that YOU retain will put YOUR interests first.
Remember, just because you are looking out for you doesn't mean you aren't looking out for the best interests of the child.
And if you are worried about money, some states require that legal fees be paid from marital assets, so your soon-to-be-ex may have to help.
I have been squiring away money for a while now so I am definitely going to wait to get the paperwork from my ex's lawyer and then hire my own to look the paperwork over. What we have agreed to is fine with me I just want to make sure that everything is above board.
It?s hard to believe that someone I loved and was married to for 17 years would try and scam me, but the reality of the situation demands that I stop being na?ve and step up for me and my daughters sake.
Tifanico if you could give me the name of your lawyer it might be worth me giving them a call.
Has he filed for a custody petition? The only verbal agreement I would trust is one worked out in mediation, put down on paper, and filed with the court system. I'm not sure of your state laws, but you don't necessarily need a lawyer for family court. Personally if he wants to see LO, and hasn't filed for paperwork I wouldn't let him leave your house with her. Not saying it could happen, but with some laws if there aren't agreements filed with the court system he doesn't have to return her to you if there aren't agreements filed.
Whoever pays the paycheck of the layer is the person that pulls the puppet strings. Once he moves out of 'local' distance, sometimes it is half hour drive other times it is different restrictions, new agreements have to be made. Usually until that happens he forfeits HIS side of the visitation agreements. If you move, then you usually have to get his permission to forfeit his rights.