Thinking of switching to formula - but how?? (long)

88eve88 · May 2012

I never anticipated breast feeding to be so stressful or difficult, but it is ... at least for me. Physically, I'm able to do it, although I feel like my supply isn't the best despite eating oatmeal and taking fenugreek every single day.

However, mentally, it's a completely different story. I have never really enjoyed BFing and never found it to be a bonding experience with my DS. Most of the time, I'm stressed out regarding my supply and constantly worried that DS isn't getting enough to eat. My left breast produces way more than my right (always has) and nursing DS on my right is always a huge struggle because letdown is slow and he's becoming more and more impatient. He gets so worked up that he has begun scratching himself and taking small chunks of skin off his scalp! (. Of course, this in turn makes me anxious and then makes my letdown even slower. A vicious cycle, really and it's making me resentful.

To top it off, DS doesn't seem to like nursing in public (he thrashes about) and I have high lipase , so my milk is only good for 24hrs max refridgerated and I can't pump that much to begin with, so pumping in the morning will not give me enough. Scalding seems like such a huge task for someone who's not EPing or storing milk (I'm SAH for now). I sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own home because I can't go anywhere for more than an hour, so I don't usually bother.

I'm really at my wits' end after about 4 months of EBF and am seriously thinking about switching to formula.

I need assistance with how to switch over. For those of you who have done it, what do I do? DS doesn't do bottles very well, so that's another hurdle to overcome.

Any and all advice is much appreciated. Please don't flame me for wanting to switch ... I feel guilty enough already. Thank you.

preggersINschool25 · May 2012

I can't help you because I have not had to go through this. I did want to tell you that I completely understand feeling like a prisoner and I feel bad that you can't refrigerate your milk so you can get out of the house more. I don't feel that "bonding" experience either. I BF because I think that it probably is better (or equivalent) and to save money for our family.

I just wanted to remind you that breastfeeding doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation. If you want to go out, give your LO formula if you have to. I don't notice much difference in my supply if I skip a feeding here or there.

Also, if your one side is slower and your babe is impatient maybe have him start on your strong side to take the urgency of hunger out of the equation, then move him to your weaker side.

I know that breastfeeding is hard and I understand if you want to switch, but if you just need some support to keep going there might be things for BFing mamas in your area. I have also been told not to quit BFing on a bad day. That is some advice that really has helped me to keep going.

Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be what's right for you and your LO.

88eve88 · May 2012

preggersINschool25:
I just wanted to remind you that breastfeeding doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation. If you want to go out, give your LO formula if you have to. I don't notice much difference in my supply if I skip a feeding here or there.

Thank you for responding! You have given me some hope ...

I can actually do this?? Did your LO just take to formula right away or did you have to slowly get him used to it? Which formula did you start with?

Jeanine88 · May 2012

We just decided yesterday that our lo is going I start taking formula after his second feeding of the day. Basically, we have a busy summer ahead and I don't like NIP and also will have to be away from lo and pumping is not my favorite. So I'm weaning by skipping one feeding for about 5 days, then another and so forth until we're down to the morning and mid morning feeding ( and during the night since my lo still doesn't sttn!).

Good luck with the transition- I've been contemplating for awhile and it's tough but I know its best for us!

preggersINschool25 · May 2012

I am able to usually give him expressed milk now, but he has gotten formula a few times a month since birth.

He first got formula in the hospital because of latch issues and has gotten formula when I needed to get out of the house and didn't have any milk stored. We have used similac advance ready to eat nurser bottles because I had a bunch I stole from the hospital and I got even more when they when on sale at BRU (for free after checks). He has also gotten the Enfamil nursers too.

He took the formula with no problems. He hasn't seemed to have an upset stomach or anything after eating it. He usually eats the same amount as he would breast milk 4oz, and also seems to be hungry again the same amount of time as he would if he nursed.

88eve88 · May 2012

Jeanine88:
We just decided yesterday that our lo is going I start taking formula after his second feeding of the day. Basically, we have a busy summer ahead and I don't like NIP and also will have to be away from lo and pumping is not my favorite. So I'm weaning by skipping one feeding for about 5 days, then another and so forth until we're down to the morning and mid morning feeding ( and during the night since my lo still doesn't sttn!).

Good luck with the transition- I've been contemplating for awhile and it's tough but I know its best for us!

Thank you for sharing your plan! I hate NIP as well, but I tried it because I wanted to get out and DS didn't do well at all. Perhaps he was sensing my anxiety though.

So, what you're saying is I can feed formula for most of the day and still BF at night? My DS isn't close to STTN anymore. I'd be less guilt-ridden if he could still get some breastmilk.

Lizg1799 · May 2012

Hi! So sorry you are going through this. While pregnant, the one thing that I felt most strongly about was breastfeeding. I was so passionate about it and just KNEW it was going to be a natural, bonding experience for Elliott and me.

He was a big baby (9 lbs 7 oz) and wanted to nurse day and night. Luckily he took to a pacifier and that kept him at bay somewhat.

Unfortunately, breastfeeding was anything but natural to me. I have big boobs anyway and found that I had such a hard time guiding him to my breast, keeping him from popping off, and holding my breast so that he could breathe. He nursed for 45 minutes each time and wanted to nurse every 1.5-2 hours. He sucked his bottom lip so he never had a great latch and literally killed my nipples. I went to LC's and although we would get the perfect latch at the appointment with the help of her hands and mine, I was never able to recreate it at home.

At his 8 week appointment we found that he wasn't gaining weight so the pedi told me to bottle feed him for the weekend to ensure that he COULD gain weight and didn't have some intestinal issues. I began to pump and quickly discovered that his poor latch had killed my supply and I wasn't pumping nearly what he needed so we had to supplement. We did about 50% breastmilk and 50% formula until he was approximately 13 weeks old. He gained 10 ounces in 2 days and I instantly felt terrible and like I had starved him for his first 8 weeks.

I never nursed again because I was terrified about how much he was getting. However, I pumped ALL DAY LONG. It was torture. I have a baby who doesn't nap so finding even 20 minutes where he can be preoccupied was rare. I had such anxiety about his feedings that my OB, husband, and mom said that it was ruining my experience of mothering him. I couldn't see the forest from the trees and desperately wanted it to work. Finally, a week ago, I put up my pump and I will tell you it was the best decision for my family.

I'll never forget the first day he only had bottles. I looked back at my phone app and we were nursing sometimes 7-8 hours a day. He sucked bottles down in 10 minutes and I said to myself, "What am I supposed to do with a baby all day? I'm used to him literally being on my breast at every waking minute." Like PP said, I didn't quit on a bad day. I quit on a day where I was at peace that I had tried my hardest.

I was lucky that my LO took bottles. I use Dr. Browns bottles and Similac Sensitive formula. He still gets some breastmilk since I have a little left in my freezer but he will be formula only very soon since I don't have much left.

Mentally, I am a whole new mother and often feel guilty for robbing us both with my anxiety and stress that I felt at the beginning of his life. My anxiety was more than just breastfeeding but that was a huge part.

Bottom line, do what you want...PERIOD. I can't promise you that you won't regret it...I still do sometimes. However, what I don't regret is quitting so that I could be a better mother to him. And for me, that's what I needed to do. Good luck.

Lizg1799 · May 2012

Sorry...my long winded response and I don't think I answered your question. We did half and half for several weeks and in between those half and half bottles I would give a straight formula one to see if he could tell the difference. Luckily, he didn't care and took to both BM and formula. If nursing is particularly stressful for you, try to just pump a few times a day. I started off every 2 hours but ended up doing it only 3 times a day. That way I only had to do it once while my DH couldn't watch him and was at work. Your supply will suffer but if you are looking to wean and give him a little BM also, this may be a good option.

Jeanine88 · May 2012

88eve88:
Jeanine88:
We just decided yesterday that our lo is going I start taking formula after his second feeding of the day. Basically, we have a busy summer ahead and I don't like NIP and also will have to be away from lo and pumping is not my favorite. So I'm weaning by skipping one feeding for about 5 days, then another and so forth until we're down to the morning and mid morning feeding ( and during the night since my lo still doesn't sttn!).

Good luck with the transition- I've been contemplating for awhile and it's tough but I know its best for us!
Thank you for sharing your plan! I hate NIP as well, but I tried it because I wanted to get out and DS didn't do well at all. Perhaps he was sensing my anxiety though.
So, what you're saying is I can feed formula for most of the day and still BF at night? My DS isn't close to STTN anymore. I'd be less guilt-ridden if he could still get some breastmilk.

Absolutely! Remember bf is supply/ demand- so your body will still make the milk needed as long as your lo is still bf sometimes! This is a happy medium for us- it's hard to remember bf does not have to be all or nothing! Good luck and let us know how you do!

kgwen · May 2012

I went through this with my DD and just this week with my DS. With my DD, she had no problems taking bottles of pumped milk or the occasional formula (just once a week or so), until 3 months-- she went on a bottle strike. My plan was when returning to work at 4.5 mo, to try to BF just in the morning and in the evenings. I was stressed when she started to reject the bottle. I really tried at that point to get her to take a paci, she finally took to the nuk and then she would accept the nuk bottle (the nipple is not the typical shape. We did mix some bottles with pumped milk, but she would also take formula b/c of the nuk bottle. I gradually weaned her off, dropping one daytime feeding every 5 days or so. Unfortunately by the time I did start back to work, my supply tanked, I think due to stress of work and not eating/drinking enough, so she was on all formula at that point.

With my DS, I anticipate that I would also stop BFing before starting back at work. So I have been giving him just 2 oz of formula since he was born once a day BEFORE BFing just to get him used to the taste and the bottle . I have also been using medium flow nipples since about six weeks so he enjoys it more. Honestly if i offered if to him after a feed, he would definitely reject it. I have not pumped at all with him b/c I hate pumping. I have been dropping a feed every couple days, sometimes he doesn't do very well with the bottle but I think (and hope) he is getting used to me not BFing. I have also been offering him the nuk for comfort more and also warming the formula very well helps.

While I never had any supply issues, BFing is not enjoyable to me...the stress of eating and drinking enough, not being able to lose weight or exercise...the early days of hours of nursing. And since I know it would be extremely stressful to try to find the time to pump at work, I knew weaning was the best thing for me.

Good luck!!!

lancyjo · May 2012

I could have written most of your post myself -at a mere 4 weeks. Breast feeding worked for us in the technical aspect. Aria latched perfectly from the beginning, I was only sore for a few days, never cracked or bled, supply seemed great.

Emotionally, mentally, it was ruining me. I was anxious all the time, cried constantly, I'm very modest, so it made me uncomfortable to even nurse in my living room when we were home. Alone. Curtains drawn. I was determined to stick with it tho... "it's best for my baby. It's natural. It's healthy for both of us. You need to do it because all those women on the bump who're having issues but so badly want to bf will hate you for being weak and quitting"... All those thoughts assaulted me every day.

At our jaundice and well-baby checkups, her doc (our family doc) could tell I was frazzled... At our one month app, She had a long talk with me about making sure I was taking care of ME as well as baby. She talked extensively about my family supporting me -hubs and my Mom had been instructed to come to this one- and about not hesitating to speak to the LC. She also went over everything about formula feeding, "just in case". She also offered meds for PPD, but added that she didn't think that was my issue. I really appreciate all the help she's given us, even tho the app was for Aria, not me.

Finally, after those four weeks of torture, my husband sat me down and said, "honey, something's got to change. I can't stand seeing you like this, and you're not even enjoying your daughter. We're switching to formula, because I know it's what you want in your heart. You will still be a great mother, regardless of what Aria eats. You being happy is so much more important."

So, after a good cry, we busted out the formula samples. I had planned to make the change gradual... But after Aria's first taste of formula, she refused breastmilk -from the bottle or the breast. Plus, when we tried mixing it, Aria was so gassy. It took us a week or two to get her on a formula and a bottle that worked for her -Enfamil made her so gassy... And she hated Tommee Tippee bottles. Playtex Ventaire and Similac Advance (now the generic Similac) is what works for us- but since then she's been thriving and happy. Hardly gassy at all, and rarely ever spits up. We're all three happier. Much happier.

Switching cold turkey meant about 5 days of torture for my boobs, but it completely worked for us. (the prescription ibuprofen I was given after birth at the hospital was a lifesaver) I'll admit that I was lost as to how to do it gradually... So Aria cutting me off cold turkey was probably best for us. Just be prepared for some super sore boobies if you do it this way.

Make the choice to do what is the best for YOU and YOUR FAMILY, be it bfing, pumping, supplementing, or ff. That's all that really matters. Good luck!

88eve88 · May 2012

Ladies,

Thank you ever so much for all your input, personal stories and suggestions. I feel happier just knowing others made this choice and everything is working out.

My husband and I are creating a plan to slowly move DS over to formula. Step 1 is finding a bottle he will take. I have purchased Tommee Tippee, BornFree and Playtex Ventaire for starters. I've also purchased #2 nipples to go with them. Fingers crossed one of these will work!

Is there a particular brand of formula I should try first? Or should I just start with the samples I have?

Thanks again"

kgwen · May 2012

88eve88:
Ladies,
Thank you ever so much for all your input, personal stories and suggestions. I feel happier just knowing others made this choice and everything is working out.
My husband and I are creating a plan to slowly move DS over to formula. Step 1 is finding a bottle he will take. I have purchased Tommee Tippee, BornFree and Playtex Ventaire for starters. I've also purchased #2 nipples to go with them. Fingers crossed one of these will work!
Is there a particular brand of formula I should try first? Or should I just start with the samples I have?
Thanks again"

I would just start with the samples you have. My LO can switch between Enfamil and Similac with no issues. GL!

lancyjo · May 2012

kgwen:
88eve88:
Ladies,
Thank you ever so much for all your input, personal stories and suggestions. I feel happier just knowing others made this choice and everything is working out.
My husband and I are creating a plan to slowly move DS over to formula. Step 1 is finding a bottle he will take. I have purchased Tommee Tippee, BornFree and Playtex Ventaire for starters. I've also purchased #2 nipples to go with them. Fingers crossed one of these will work!
Is there a particular brand of formula I should try first? Or should I just start with the samples I have?
Thanks again"
I would just start with the samples you have. My LO can switch between Enfamil and Similac with no issues. GL!

Agreed, just start with the samples. Double check their expiration dates tho, we had a couple that expired less than a month after Aria was born. Also, we had to go with the slowest flow nipples for Aria. We're still using them, and she doesn't show signs of needing to switch yet.

footnotegirl · May 2012

We had to start supplementing with formula starting at 1 week due to supply issues on my part. We started with the cup (terrible) then droppers (better, but still awful) and the finger feeder (awesome in comparison to the first two) until the LC checked out LO's latch and said that she wouldn't have any nipple confusion if we went for the bottle. Even though I took supplements, power pumped, etc, I never really managed to boost my supply to more than about 6 oz./day.

We did a mix of nursing and formula feeding. We'd formula feed while out and about, but when home I would nurse first and then do a bottle. This worked out until last week, when LO decided that she just didn't want to deal with nursing anymore, period. By that point, my supply was low enough that I didn't suffer any engorgement issues.

Don't feel guilt. Breast milk is certainly the better choice, but you CAN choose to do both and the BEST thing for your baby is a happy, healthy, well rested and relaxed mom.

One plus with formula feeding was that my husband was able to feed LO, and he really appreciated that closeness which he would not have otherwise gotten.

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