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May 2012 Moms
k8edgerton
member
I've seen the difference... MIL vent. (LONG, sorry...)
k8edgerton
member
I've seen the difference between my mom and mother in law... Last night, both sets came over to see the baby. Totally fine, I know they are all over the moon about the newest addition to the family.
My parents are extremely awesome, supportive, and loving. They are there for me and my husband. My dad went to get us Chipolte when he saw that we hadn't had dinner. He then promptly watered my flowers just because they "looked a little dry" -- My mom did a quick clean of my kitchen and offered to take pictures while we gave her a bath. All gestures of love and completely helpful. They are champion grandparents and know just the right amount of love to shower over baby. My dad held and burped and was very proud... My mom held and cuddled for a bit while we ate dinner. Completely supportive and most importantly non-suffocating.
My MIL on the other hand... Holy cow! LO had a good bout of hiccups so my dad passed her over so I could rub them out of her. I was holding her when my in laws arrived. My MIL was an instant vulture... leaning over me asking to hold her. I was like, give me a second she has hiccups. I passed her over and literally felt like she was going to steal my baby. She would not give her up and it felt extremely awkward.
My mom suggested a walk because we had been holed up in the house for the past few days. We started to go on the walk and my MIL took the stroller!!!! I was like... Ummmm.... First walk with my first baby, I need to be the one walking her! My mom came to the rescue and made a comment on how it will be easier for me to walk holding onto the stroller because of my stitches. I was overcome with emotion and started crying. It wasn't pretty.
Then when they had over stayed their welcome... I am going to feed her. My milk hasn't come in and I can't get LO to latch. I've worked so far with two LC's and haven't had luck. I had breast surgery and was not sure if my milk would even come in. Needless to say it is a current touchy subject for me and it is breaking my heart that I cannot breastfeed. She starts with comments about why I should keep trying (yadee yada --- Duh I am lady) and LO reached for my breast (I think she smells the milk coming in) -- And she makes a comment about how baby obviously would prefer the breast and why don't I just try. I'm suffocated... LO wasn't taking the bottle because of my stress and the vulture. Actually earlier she was holding and LO lunged at her breast and she made a comment about her breastfeeding my baby. Yep, that actually happened. Baby was just moving her head not rooting for your breast you old bag.
UGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
So, that is the difference between my mom/parents and MIL. Sorry, I had to get it out and this is something that I could never say to my husband.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I've seen the difference... MIL vent. (LONG, sorry...)
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. I had to tell my MIL to let other people hold the baby when we were in the hospital. She took him from my DH and was telling other people they could just look at him. I couldn't hold him yet since I was in recovery from the c-section (the nurses were nice and let everyone in since I was the only person in there) but she was ticking me off. She eventually released him to the others but kept looking at them like "give me my baby back". She also called my mom to "Brag" about how great it is to have the baby here and so close too her, which ticked me off for two reasons. One, my mom is in another state and has only seen pictures and she's said cause she's not here to help out (which my MIL hasn't offered to do AT ALL). She's actually doing the opposite and has requested my DH come to her house tomorrow to help her cook, as if I don't need him home with us but whatever. She probably thinks we're coming along but that's not going to happen at all. The other reason is she NEVER calls my mom, she didn't even have her number and we've been married 7 years but she got it make that call.
Oops that got really long. I guess we both had to get it out.
Same here! We went to my sister in law's house for a b-day dinner for my husband. Hunter was fast alseep in his bounce and she (MIL) literally sat over the bouncer all night. Every time he moved a tiny bit, she was convinced he was waking up and tried to take him out.... which would mean diaper change... which would mean hysterics b/c he hates to be out of his diaper (he was only 5 days old).... and then it would mean he needed to be nursed because he basically only wakes up to eat. She would stroke his face his arms, and I just wanted to scream for her to leave him alone!
My SIL is also being annoying... she has to come see him everyday, they live across the street, but he is mostly just sleeping so she comes and just sits. Then I feel like I am having to entertain her, when really I want to take a nap and be ready to nurse him when I need to in the comfort of my home where I don't have to cover up.
I'm glad I'm not the only one, but is there anything you have figured out that works? I am completely non-confrontational..... Is it just me? Do I want him all to myself?