Not sure I can do this...

NMscubagirl · May 2012

I am only 1 week down on the BCPs and I just feel like I can't do this again. I am feeling crazy-cakes. I can't stop crying and now I am just thinking that I probably don't want kids and can't handle them anyway. If I can't deal with life without them, how am I going to be able to do it with them. I am supposed to start the Z-pack today and I can't bring myself to take it. DH doesn't understand. He just keeps telling me that I have to be positive. Well, if I have to be, then maybe I shouldn't do this at all because I am not positive. I am trying so hard to just put one foot in front of the other, but I just feel like I can't do this anymore.

Gregermis · May 2012

HUGE ((((HUGS)))) You don't have to be positive! You have to be what you have to be. I know you and you have put up with all the sh*t that you've had to deal with going through IF, so I know that you will be able to handle kids. One breath at a time lady!!

jillychris · May 2012

((HUGS)) You can absolutely feel whatever you want to feel!! But, like gregermis said, the strength you have after dealing with IF is more than enough to get you through whatever you life path ends up being. For what it's worth I had huge emotional breakdowns before I started meds for IVF #1, and again right when I started the antibiotics for IVF #2. I think, unfortunately, it's part of the process. It is such a hard one, emotionally, physically, mentally. Hang in there!!

Roxie5739 · May 2012

Gregermis:
HUGE ((((HUGS)))) You don't have to be positive! You have to be what you have to be. I know you and you have put up with all the sh*t that you've had to deal with going through IF, so I know that you will be able to handle kids. One breath at a time lady!!

Exactly this. You have already dealt with more than your fair share and you can choose whatever you want the next steps or your future to be. I constantly have doubts over what I am doing so fully understand. ((((HUGS))))

vanessagorc · May 2012

U absolutely don't have to be positive. That's not required and does not impact outcome.

You can do his again, it's just hard putting urself thru it all. I was not in a good place after ivf 3 failed. I didnt want to keep going either, but I did bc I really hopes some say it would work. Not sure I believed it would, but I hoped so.

Huge hugs, take ur zpak and u can get thru this!!!

reb259 · May 2012

Hugs!! I will be positive for you...seems like cycling gets harder and harder. I have felt the same way and still do at times. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I know it sounds cliche but tomorrow is a new day and I really hope it is a better one for you!

xoxox

NMscubagirl · May 2012

Thanks everyone. I know I say this all the time, but I don't know what I would do without you.

I think the BCPs are really messing with me this time. Even when I am not feeling sad I am crying. Glad I only have 1 more week of them to go.

I am starting to feel better now. One foot in front of the other....

Mrkyrain · May 2012

I was the most emotional and crazy cakes on BCP. It was worse than any of the other drugs they gave me. Hang in there, you can do this. Also, as others have said, you don't have to be positive. DH used to say this to me all the time "stay positive" and I wanted to kill him. I went to an IF counselor at our clinic one time and she said that men often become the "cheerleaders" because they don't know what else to do. I just explained to DH that it was putting extra pressure on me and that in this situation, being positive had nothing to do with success. Seemed to work because he stopped. IF is a tough journey and if you are strong enough to handle it, you are strong enough to handle anything. Big hugs.

Delta04 · May 2012

There is nothing more difficult than getting back on that horse again when dealing with IF. The ladies above have said it well.

You've got this!

::Hugs::

Bella2u07 · May 2012

Glad your feeling a little better! You are a strong woman and YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

::big hugs::

Edwina.McDunnough · May 2012

Gregermis:
HUGE ((((HUGS)))) You don't have to be positive! You have to be what you have to be. I know you and you have put up with all the sh*t that you've had to deal with going through IF, so I know that you will be able to handle kids. One breath at a time lady!!

Hear hear !

Hoping this is all behind you soon.

blueberries8 · May 2012

(((hugs))) You definitely don't have to be positive or have sunny, optimistic thoughts for this to work. Thinking of you.

illinigal · May 2012

reb259:
Hugs!! I will be positive for you...seems like cycling gets harder and harder. I have felt the same way and still do at times. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I know it sounds cliche but tomorrow is a new day and I really hope it is a better one for you!

xoxox

Agreed. You are entitled to feel however you are feeling. We will be positive for you. Hugs.

Aegis2005 · May 2012

(((hugs)))

lynn0926 · May 2012

Hugs hun! All of this can be such a rollercoaster ride!

BeeBee08 · May 2012

illinigal:
reb259:

Hugs!! I will be positive for you...seems like cycling gets harder and harder. I have felt the same way and still do at times. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I know it sounds cliche but tomorrow is a new day and I really hope it is a better one for you!

xoxox

Agreed. You are entitled to feel however you are feeling. We will be positive for you. Hugs.

I know exactly how you feel and it's so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but you can do it!! And when you can't be positive for yourself, that's what you have us for. Chin up, you can handle it!!

winofairy · May 2012

BeeBee08:
illinigal:
reb259:

Hugs!! I will be positive for you...seems like cycling gets harder and harder. I have felt the same way and still do at times. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I know it sounds cliche but tomorrow is a new day and I really hope it is a better one for you!

xoxox

Agreed. You are entitled to feel however you are feeling. We will be positive for you. Hugs.

I know exactly how you feel and it's so hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but you can do it!! And when you can't be positive for yourself, that's what you have us for. Chin up, you can handle it!!

Ditto this ^^^ Huge HUGE (((HUGS)))

AmCheri · May 2012

Oh, Scubadooo. I hate this so much for you. The previous ladies have said it well. I've learned that you don't have to be happy or positive -- you just have to get through it. And you should never feel guilty if you're not feeling positive either. Give yourself a huge break and just BE. You're doing the best you can in each moment and that's all you have to do. We'll be your cheering section whenever you need it. Big hugs sweetie. I know I'm late with this response. Hope you're feeling better by now.