Nursing to sleep association

tarheelborn · May 2012

DS2 is 4 mos. and seems to be developing a strong nurse to sleep association. He is a happy and content baby and much easier than DS1 as a baby. Problem is, he won't fall asleep in the car while doing errands or on the way to playdates, and he has a hard time falling asleep in public (either worn or in stroller). I feel sort of trapped in the house with the 2 of them, since DS2 doesn't nap well and has very unpredictable naps.

At home, he usually wakes up 35-45 min. into his naps and needs "help" getting back to sleep. This is problematic because I have to figure out how to keep the 2 year old entertained yet quiet. I usually end up having to lay in bed with DS2 and nurse him back to sleep.

I am sure if I had all day long to work on habits and naps, I could fix this, but I don't know how to do it with DS1 around and needing attention from me. I really want to avoid doing CIO right now.

Anyone have any advice?

MammaBear81 · May 2012

Would you LO take a pacifier at this point? We always did the "eat, play, sleep" routine so I didn't nurse them right before bed, and my kids took a paci to go to sleep. We didn't do CIO, but I did put them in their crib and rub their back until they fell asleep. It took a while, but now we can put him down and walk out.

Do you have somewhere you can put DS1 while you are putting DS2 down? We have a gated off playroom that is kid friendly and when I need to deal with the LO's I know I can trust the other kids in there.

spunkyprincessmande · May 2012

I remember going through this with my first. It was terrible because I kept thinking babies are supposed to take good naps during the day! Everyone expects them to be up during the night, but you don't expect them to not nap. I think it's important to remember that it's probably just a phase. Micah nursed to sleep and then one day he just stopped falling asleep while eating and we had to figure out something else. I know this doesn't really help you because you have the older child to deal with and don't have the time to help the baby get to sleep. I know it's discouraging, but I would say for now just go with it. Does he take several naps during the day, even though they're short? Naps are sacred in my house, but I have learned to try to go with the flow a little more and it makes me less stressed.

CaitlinJ22 · May 2012

They usually grow out of it. That age is hard for naps, my kids went through 30 min cat naps btwn 4-5 months old. I wore the baby a lot and had her sleep on me when she could. She didnt fall into a napping schedule in her crib until 6 months.

I would nurse and then give a paci and walk or rock. They usally would get to the point where they would finish nursing and want the paci after that.

worth a try.

hang in there, its not forvever.

Kaiterz · May 2012

MammaBear81:
Would you LO take a pacifier at this point? We always did the "eat, play, sleep" routine so I didn't nurse them right before bed, and my kids took a paci to go to sleep. We didn't do CIO, but I did put them in their crib and rub their back until they fell asleep. It took a while, but now we can put him down and walk out.
Do you have somewhere you can put DS1 while you are putting DS2 down? We have a gated off playroom that is kid friendly and when I need to deal with the LO's I know I can trust the other kids in there.

I also did the nurse, play, sleep routine and I can lay DD down w a pacifier and walk out as well. I have a friend who nurses to sleep and her DD is now 13 mos and my friend still needs to nurse to sleep. Personally, I would suggest changing the routine to make things easier on you.

Also, a good play area you can gate LO#1 in sounds like a God send.

tarheelborn · May 2012

Thank you all for the suggestions. I do have the upstairs childproofed, so my toddler has free rein while I am with DS2. If I am gone more than about 5-10 minutes, he comes looking for me and tends to be really loud about it. I can give him my Kindle to watch Elmo on which keeps him entertained and quiet (but then I have a difficult time prying it back from him later on and he is glued to it.)

I tried much harder to follow eat play sleep with this baby and I don't know how we fell into this routine. DS1 was a terrible napper up until about 9 months when we sleep trained.

Thanks for reminding me it's not forever. I just know it feels that way when you are really sleep deprived. We start off the night with baby in a RNP next to our bed, but we end up cosleeping. The cosleeping was working great and I was sleeping well and had energy during the day until about a month ago. Now I think I am too much of a zombie to try and change everything.

delg23 · May 2012

I went through this w/ DS#1 and it was awful. He woke up every hour, wouldn't nap, screamed all day. So I did EASY w/ #2 because I was like oh heeeeck no I can't do that again. DS#2 goes down quickly and sttn at 10 weeks but now he is waking 3 times anyway! lol. I think he is sleeping too much in the day. Because I cut out his evening nap and he slept way better. Anyway, back to you. I suggest stopping the nurse to sleep and replace it w/ something else. Other props are easier to wean from and less addicting and take less time. Good luck! Here is a good article https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/why-pantley-no-cry-sleep-solution-doesnt-always-work/

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