Had/have you seen a birth IRL before giving birth yourself?

RockyMtnMama · May 2012

Have/Did any of the natural birth moms and moms-to-be have attended a friend's or family member's birth before they gave birth the first time?

I attended my sister's birth of her first son about 5 years before we had kids. It was a big reason as to why I not only waited to have kids (it shocked me), but also as to why I chose unmedicated childbirth preparation before I had my first (it also amazed and surprised me with emotion).

Anyone else think like this?

MommyLuvsMe1210 · May 2012

I've been watching videos on YouTube.

I decided I wanted a natural birth before as soon as I toured the birthing center. Since then, I've seen just about every video that has been posted on YouTube and have yet to change my mind

I'm the kind of person that wants to know what to expect beforehand.

annabelle.27 · May 2012

Aside from youtube? No. I went to the hospital to say hi to my mom when she was in labour with one of my sisters. I remember some woman down the hall screaming her head off and my mom sitting serenely in bed. I had a horrified look on my face and my mom said "I'm very thankful this isn't my first baby or I'd be scared $hitless right now but it really isn't that bad."

Years later when I had DS1, I was that screamer. Sigh.

robyn2201 · May 2012

I have never been present for someone else's birth IRL. I decided that I wanted a natural birth after watching the Buisness of Being Born, sometime between 15-20 weeks along with DD.

mAnYaSha · May 2012

annabelle.27:

Aside from youtube? No. I went to the hospital to say hi to my mom when she was in labour with one of my sisters. I remember some woman down the hall screaming her head off and my mom sitting serenely in bed. I had a horrified look on my face and my mom said "I'm very thankful this isn't my first baby or I'd be scared $hitless right now but it really isn't that bad."

Years later when I had DS1, I was that screamer. Sigh.

LOL

ridesbuttons · May 2012

No. Well, maybe sometime in my past I'd seen one on video or similar but definitely not one IRL.

Not really interested in seeing one now either.

Glad my eyes and my delivery bits are mutually exclusive.

blush64 · May 2012

I saw one just before I was pregnant with my first child. (not watching it to prepare, jsut happened to see it) It was a med-free birth and the baby was born while the woman was in a stand/bent position. I was abosolutely horrified. I thought it was the worst things ever and I decided I did not want to do things that way. I never wanted to witness someone else's birth again. I still prefer not to watch the actual birth part of births. I did go on to have my first child without meds but not because of that video. I think some of us just don't need to see it.

julyjennifer · May 2012

I had not seen one in person. We watched some videos in our Bradley class and at first DH and I were both kind of shocked at what natural birth could look like. I guess mainstream media doesn't really prepare you for naked and squatting.

However, now after having birthed twice, I also think that the experience feels very different on the inside than it looks to the outside. The person might be making a lot of noise, or grimacing, or whatever, and it looks like they it might be because they're in pain, but actually it's just what they are doing to manage the big sensations and it's not as bad as it seems. That's how it felt to me, anyway.

It looks more raw than it feels. You feel way different than you look. Or something.

iris427 · May 2012

Yep, I was a doula so I had seen a bunch of labors and births before I had kids. I am so thankful I had that opportunity because it made birth a lot less scary for me. When I ended up having an unplanned c/s with my first, it was very helpful to have a general idea of what to expect. I wish everyone could see some real live births before they had children.

jhunter89 · May 2012

I was my best friend's support person during her 27 hour un-medicated birth at a free standing birth center last year. She ended up needing a transfer, but didn't have any complications. I will say, that i've also watched a LOT of videos, and it's so much different in person! The emotions are just crazy! I do think it helped me a lot to see first hand each physical stage (not just the pushing stage that you see on videos edited for time) and be able to recognize a little better the mental stages as well. I think it's made me more confident in my choice and hopefully it helps me when it's my turn to stay calm and focused!

StefandTodd · May 2012

Not IRL, no. But I did watch (and it was VERY graphic) my aunt's natural delivery of my cousin several times when I was 13. She didn't make a peep, didn't have a single drug...I bawled my eyes out watching it. Was completely amazed and in awe.

CocoBrynne · May 2012

No I didn't and I didn't take any birthing classes either. Honestly for me, seeing birth videos would've freaked me out, it was better for me to go in a little blind to all the gory details.

tokenhoser · May 2012

I'd seen lots of animal births. Cats and cows.

I wouldn't even say I saw my birth, though. I didn't see any need to SEE birth. Birth isn't (IMO) pretty.

BrideNamedMeg · May 2012

I haven't seen any births but my own and that's a pretty different perspective. I'm not really sure why I wanted a natural birth, it was always just there in my head that I would go med free. I knew some of my cousins had gone without medication, had VBACs, etc. so it wasn't unheard of.

Nechie122 · May 2012

My DH was in medical school and doing his OB rotation while we were dating. I'll never forget that he told me that women who give birth without drugs are "insane." Years later, when we were finally married, having a baby, I always sort of wondered whether he doubted my ability to do this. But now he's a huge natural birth supporter. I think it's different observing it as a third-party and then experiencing it.

LaurelBee · May 2012

I never saw a birth irl. I even covered my eyes during the videos they showed in my childbirth class. It just made me really uncomfortable for some reason! I decided to try med free when I found out that the epi wasn't just a shot but an actual catheter in your back... That made me REALLY uncomfortable. Since becoming a mom, I've watched tons of movies and youtube clips on birth with out squirming

Now I cry.

theladyjess · May 2012

I didn't get to see the birth because she ended up with a c/s but I was with my friend while she labored. She was induced because the baby was "big". She went in the evening had a cervical ripener inserted overnight and they began pit the next morning. She labored all day in bed with monitors, got the epi when she was about 3-4 cm and stayed at 3-4 for the next several hours. After failing to progress past 3-4 after 6+ hours the baby started showing signs of distress on the monitor and the attending OB said that a c/s was necessary. And her "big" baby was only 7lb 5oz.

After watching what she went through I decided that I didn't want that for myself. She didn't take any childbirth classes and basically did what the drs told her to do. I'm not like that, I prefer to be as prepared as possible. I knew that I didn't want to lay in a bed the whole time, I wanted to move around. When I got pg I started looking into options for labor and birth and decided that a natural med-free birth would be best for me. I figured that if my mom could deliver my sister w/out pain meds then I could too.

pithikaki · May 2012

tokenhoser:
I'd seen lots of animal births. Cats and cows.
I wouldn't even say I saw my birth, though. I didn't see any need to SEE birth. Birth isn't (IMO) pretty.

Lots of animal births here too, never any human births in person. I found BBB a few years ago before I even thought about wanting a baby just because I enjoy documentaries and Netflix! Have seen a few births on YouTube since becoming pg...

I don't think I'd want to see a birth IRL. I don't think I even want to "watch" my own.

A friend of mine had her last baby in a hospital that offered a drop down mirror from the ceiling so she could watch while she pushed! AH!

katiewhompus · May 2012

In person, no. I watched a lot of birth videos on TLC though. I won't lie, Anna Duggar's birth with her first child was my goal. She just seem so calm and collected and positive throughout the experience.

judahsmommy1 · May 2012

I watched my youngest brother's birth. I was 11. It was a great experience for me as my mom had prepared me and my two sisters very well for what to expect. It was a non-medicated delivery. It was definitely something I thought about when I had my first.

lindsay.lou · May 2012

I know I may be in the minority, but I don't think watching videos (for me) would have been helpful. At all. I did not watch videos of wisdom teeth getting extracted before getting mine yanked out. I feel like birth LOOKS a lot worse and scarier than it actually is. I just don't see how it could be helpful to see ahead of time.

adventureolive · May 2012

I was there for my sister's birth, she started at home but had to go to the hospital and had to have an emergency c-section, and I held her hand through the whole thing.

LadyMadrid08 · May 2012

Yes, I saw my sister have an epi-free birth and my sister-in-law have a birth with an epidural.

The one that made a huge impact on me was my sister's. I was 15 and I remember thinking if she could go through such a long, intense labor which ultimately ended in transfer to a hospital from the birthing center then I could do it too. And that was the first time I ever gave any thought to giving birth. It didn't scare me, it made me very emotional. As my nephew was crowning a few tears slid down my cheeks and I remember the moment perfectly. It was in one word incredible.

Having seen one of each kind I also saw that I would be the kind of person who wants to move around in labor. My SIL with her epidural looked so trapped and uncomfortable whereas my sister was able to move around freely and do whatever she needed to.

I have always told people that seeing my nephew's birth was something that reassured me and inspired me. I'd always felt that women need to witness a birth like this before being pregnant themselves because I think it would take away a lot of fear surrounding childbirth, however, I later learned that many women have been scarred by births they did witnes.

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