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October 2012 Moms
shaunah816
member
XP: Surprise twins at 20 weeks
shaunah816
member
Hey guys,
I had my a/s yesterday, and it didn't quite go as expected. I didn't have a dating ultrasound because I knew my LMP and my midwife didn't see it as medically necessary, so I had my first ultrasound yesterday at 19 weeks, 6 days and we found twin boys. To say I'm shell shocked is an understatement.
I've been growing and gaining weight normally for a woman pregnant with one (popped last week, have gained 4-5 lb), and while I've been sicker than the average pregnant woman (nausea until almost 15 weeks, slightly low iron with some fainting and general uncomfortableness), I wasn't sick enough to raise any red flags of multiples. I have a strong family history of multiples in my family, and my husband's father is a fraternal twin, so I knew we had a chance but figured it was nothing to worry about. Ha!
Today I'm just trying to process. I feel so guilty for saying this, but I'm having a hard time feeling happy about this development. My husband is ecstatic, and I know I'll get there, but right now all I can think about is all the changes this means (financial, lifestyle, sanity) and it feels insurmountable. I struggled for 18 months to get pregnant, so I'm being especially hard on myself because of how much I longed to be a mother and now I am...but to two instead of one. I also know that we've had women lose babies (like Boots) or get scary ultrasound results (like CEOwife), and here I am whining about two healthy babies. But here I am, struggling.
I know a lot of this will pass in the next few days, but for now I'm just looking for other moms to tell me everything is going to be OK, and to share some advice. This is my first pregnancy and our first child(ren), so I'm just really bowled over.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: Surprise twins at 20 weeks
I imagine you are still in plain shock!! Congrats! I hope the shock wears down and the excitement sets in!
I see you are in Cornelius... I am in Concord! Hey neighbor!
Congratulations - what a surprise!
I think maybe you are just shocked right now, once you get over the idea of having twins it will be great! We have 3 sets of friends that had twins a year ago and I remember 2 out of the 3 being in complete shock and then once the babies were here they were thrilled to have them. It might just take some time to process.
Congrats again!!!
...baby #3 is here...
Wow - I can imagine that came as quite a shock at 20 weeks! You've already gotten a lot of good advice here and on the multiples board. I can only imagine what you're feeling right now but don't be hard on yourself if you're not jumping for joy - multiples PG are different and often times more difficult than a singleton so don't feel guilty for feeling apprehensive.
Dr. Barbara Luke has a great book on multiples PG as far as what to expect, your prenatal care, etc. I found it very helpful when we confirmed we had twins. Also, I know you're in Cornelius but I found the CMOMs group (Charlotte Mommies of Multiples - I live in Charlotte) a great resource right here in this area.
Don't hesitate to PM me if you want more info or want to talk!
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
I get it. I held my breath until the tech told us we only had one, because of family history of twins and because I've just "had this feeling" it might be twins. Thinking and planning for one baby for 19 weeks and then suddenly realizing you will need two of everything has to be a huge shock.
I'm with a previous poster who said take some time to process and I'm sure you will find yourself totally happy about it well before the little guys are born!
First off congrats on the twins! I'm a twin myself. It's 100% normal to be freaked out by the news, especially since you just found out. My twin sister actually had twins (we're identical, she had fraternal twins) and she had a lot of trouble coming to terms with the idea herself. It's different than having just one baby, and I will admit it's definitely harder - but that doesn't mean that it's any less rewarding or wonderful. And coming where I'm coming from, it' will be a great experience for the babies. Think of it as your babies having a built in best friend, or even built in entertainment.
The MOMs (mom of multiples) groups can be very helpful (even my mom was a part of one and I'm 34!), and sometimes it's just nice to know other people going through what you're going through - who can maybe offer some advice based on what they've already learned or found out.
good luck!!!!!!
This is well said! Also, congrats to you. I felt the same way at first. It took us 21 mos to get pregnant and even knowing that multiples was a possibility, I was still shocked to find out we're having twins. Honestly, all I thought about at first was $ and how we're going, like you, from 0 kids to 2 kids. After the shock wore off I realized how blessed we are to have 2 babies! That's 2x the smiles, 2x the baby coos, etc. Don't be too hard on yourself as it will take time to absorb this news - again, congrats
Thank you all so much. Your kind words truly mean a lot to me. I'm slowly coming around to the idea, but I know I need to give myself time and space and not rush it. Two presents a lot of opportunities in addition to the challenges. I'm excited that they'll have a built-in playmate, and that they'll always have each other. My sisters and I, although we're all at different ages, have such a strong bond and I've always wanted that for my child. I know now that these two boys will have that in spades, and that's really special to me.
Thank you to all the NC moms who replied. I need to update my profile, as I recently moved to Maine (all the change comes at once this year!), but a big chunk of my heart is still in North Carolina.
I just want to say that I bet what you're feeling is normal. Give yourself permission to go through this adjustment without further judgement from yourself on your understandable feelings.
Best of luck to you and really, congrats.
I'm in Raleigh too!
I babysat for twins all through college and they were such a joy! I think you are in for a world of fun!!!