Would I be Tacky?

tay118 · May 2012

I am currently pregnant with my second child, my first child is 8yr old and I never had a baby shower when I was pregnant with him. I was young and a lot of people didn't really know about the pregnancy til I was far along. Most family helped out by giving me hand me downs etc. I am not expecting a baby shower with this pregnancy but my sister offered that she would love to throw one since I never had one with the first and this would be my husbands first child. Would that be tacky? I am not sure what to tell my sister, I do not want to come off as gift grabby at all but if I were to have one it would be small with family and close friends only.

Sherbet Lemon · May 2012

tay118:
I am currently pregnant with my second child, my first child is 8yr old and I never had a baby shower when I was pregnant with him. I was young and a lot of people didn't really know about the pregnancy til I was far along. Most family helped out by giving me hand me downs etc. I am not expecting a baby shower with this pregnancy but my sister offered that she would love to throw one since I never had one with the first and this would be my husbands first child. Would that be tacky? I am not sure what to tell my sister, I do not want to come off as gift grabby at all but if I were to have one it would be small with family and close friends only.

You don't sound gift grabby or entitled. There's a big age gap, a shower was offered, and you're planning to keep it a fairly small event. I'd accept the offer for a shower and enjoy it.

aec22 · May 2012

Sherbet Lemon:
tay118:
I am currently pregnant with my second child, my first child is 8yr old and I never had a baby shower when I was pregnant with him. I was young and a lot of people didn't really know about the pregnancy til I was far along. Most family helped out by giving me hand me downs etc. I am not expecting a baby shower with this pregnancy but my sister offered that she would love to throw one since I never had one with the first and this would be my husbands first child. Would that be tacky? I am not sure what to tell my sister, I do not want to come off as gift grabby at all but if I were to have one it would be small with family and close friends only.

You don't sound gift grabby or entitled. There's a big age gap, a shower was offered, and you're planning to keep it a fairly small event. I'd accept the offer for a shower and enjoy it.

This.

mben1119 · May 2012

Sounds fine to me! I agree with PPs, between the age gap, this being YH's first, and someone offering, I can't think of a reason not to enjoy yourself!

PunkyBooster · May 2012

If your sister offered, I would take her up on it.

My feeling on second showers is that as long as someone else throws it, the party is small and you don't broadcast registry info then they are fine.

What I cannot stand are second time moms who HAVE to have another shower, especially if the baby is the opposite sex, register for ALL new things, and generally act like princesses about the whole thing.

GL!!

tay118 · May 2012

Thank you all for your thoughts! Definitely feeling a little better about it now!

RoxyLynn · May 2012

You've offered multiple reasons as to why you think the "no showers for second-time Moms" rule shouldn't apply to you. Sorry, but it still does.

Your sister can host a no-gifts get-together (coffee and dessert or similar) in your honor; that would be absolutely fine.

januaryjen18 · May 2012

Not tacky at all!! My sister is 9 years younger than me and I remember that when my mom was pregnant with her she had another one since there was such a huge gap between her two kids... also my step family really loved it since it was my stepdad's first baby so it was special to them. I say go for it!

5LittleBears · May 2012

I think it is absolutely fine of you to have one! Not tacky.

pam1005 · May 2012

Have one and enjoy yourself. I've never side eyed a mom who was given a shower when her children were as far apart as yours will be. Especially since this is your husband's first child.

jvdavisbaby · May 2012

Oh man being on the Bump has taught me tons of stuff! I did not know second showers were not ok lol that being said...... considering you never had a first one I think you are ok to get one this time

just my opinion! You don't sound gift grabby at all, I think telling her "If you want to throw a shower for me that would be very kind of you" and let her take it from there

Im knew at all this baby stuff so hopefully I said the right things here lol Good luck!!!

clineak · May 2012

rohanite:
You have a decent gap between births, and it's your husband's first, and someone close to you has offered, and the people that will be invited sound like they are close friends/family who would probably give you a gift anyway. I say go for it!! GL on your pregnancy. :-)

Agreed.

Ladiebug710 · May 2012

I think it is totally fine.

kjskjs · May 2012

I say go for it. If someone is offering it is ok to say yes. Especially if it's been so long between children and you didn't have one before.

Blaker2012 · May 2012

Not tacky at all! She offered, you should enjoy yourself.

mdharris29 · May 2012

I see nothing wrong with second, third etc time showers. But I don't see a shower as a gift thing, I see it as celebrating a coming life. Why should, just because of order of birth, there not be a party to celebrate a new life? My BFF is throwing me a small celebration a few weeks before I am due and this is my 3rd. I had one with my second. They were both smaller, but I don't like big showers in any regard, I can't talk to everyone. As with all the showers, if someone wants to give me something, cool and if they want to know what I want/need I do have a registry but that is really so I can get the coupons.

But as for the "rules" clearly you are in a situation that is different a totally cool to have the full blow out and have a blast.

ashleyann331 · May 2012

I don't think that would be tacky at all. I say go for it!!

Thats a pretty good gap between children, and someone offered to throw you one. Its the girls that *expect* or *hope* for one for a second child after like a year between their kids and go all out with a registry that are tacky.

You however, do not sound or seem tacky AT ALL!!!

Ms Molly · May 2012

I think it's fine.

rhubarb123 · May 2012

Technically, a baby shower is for a first time MOM which you are not. That being said...I would tell your sister OK...but keep it small (close family and firends). Basically, trying to come up with excuses why it would be OK...1) you didn't have one for your first LO, 2) it has been 8 years, and 3) this is your DH's first child doesn't really have anything to do it with it. You are still already a mom. People who are really strict on etiquette would say it is a no-no.

TravelSnob · May 2012

RoxyLynn:
You've offered multiple reasons as to why you think the "no showers for second-time Moms" rule shouldn't apply to you. Sorry, but it still does.

Your sister can host a no-gifts get-together (coffee and dessert or similar) in your honor; that would be absolutely fine.

I'm sorry RoxyLynn but you obviously do not know your proper etiquette. As per Emily Post there is no "rule" that says you can't have a shower for a second child.

https://www.emilypost.com/social-life/celebrations-through-life/456-baby-shower-questions-answered

You are more than able to have a second shower and anyone who says differently has no idea of proper etiquette!

Would I be Tacky?

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