Lost it on my MIL at my shower... Do I have the right to be angry? Poll — The Bump
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Lost it on my MIL at my shower... Do I have the right to be angry? Poll

My MIL has a bad temper and an even worse attitude towards me. She's hated me since the day I brought peanuts to a family celebration, not knowing someone was allergic. A third cousin, actually. So at the gender reaveal shower, on the 19th, my mom was telling me all this cool stuff we could put in the room of DD. Me and DH got up to announce gender when MIL gasps, screams and accusingly yells at me, Why did she know? And I didn't? Well, Mom had come with me to all of my ultrasounds, and she had been there when the doc said it was a girl. Even though my mom constantly needled me for having a baby so early, she was there. My MIL proceeded to rant, throw three plates on the floor and her cup of wine at me, and curse me out while trying to destroy things all around the room. My DH finally grabbed her and dragged her out of the room, and I was so angry I followed. I proceeded to tell her that she had never been nice, never once asked to go to an u/s, not even ask about my pregnancy except to tell me I got fat. She said she hated me and was leaving. Me, in my ruined dress told her that was fine. She could (explitive) get the (explitive) out. She hasn't called to apologize, or even paid the hotel we had our shower at... Some people...[Poll]
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Re: Lost it on my MIL at my shower... Do I have the right to be angry? Poll

  • Wow CRAZY! As with you my mom has also been at every appt. it's different when it's YOUR own mother! How does your DH feel about it? I'm soo soo sorry you had to go through that:( 

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  • WTF? who throws plates on the floor?????
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  • image phq2011:
    WTF? who throws plates on the floor?????
    Here's the funny part, she was trying to kick over the table but failed, so she took her plates and threw them at the first target, being me, but has terrible aim. Sadly, the wine didn't. :(
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  • image dontcryformeoslo:
    image phq2011:
    WTF? who throws plates on the floor?????
    Here's the funny part, she was trying to kick over the table but failed, so she took her plates and threw them at the first target, being me, but has terrible aim. Sadly, the wine didn't. :(

    She sounds like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

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  • image jparrish1:

    Wow CRAZY! As with you my mom has also been at every appt. it's different when it's YOUR own mother! How does your DH feel about it? I'm soo soo sorry you had to go through that:( 

    He's pretty shaken up, he's never believed that she hated me until that day, he is really mad too. Thank you; and true! My mom may have been super annoying and bratty about it, she still warmed up to the fact that this baby was coming, whether she liked it or not. My MIL is just... a meanie face.. ;P
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  • image phq2011:

    image dontcryformeoslo:
    image phq2011:
    WTF? who throws plates on the floor?????
    Here's the funny part, she was trying to kick over the table but failed, so she took her plates and threw them at the first target, being me, but has terrible aim. Sadly, the wine didn't. :(

    She sounds like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

    Doesn't she? I mean, really? That's what she got mad about? No one else was really supposed to know the gender anyway!! Ugh... and the fact that it was 1200 dollars to pay for her mess, I wish I could punch her right now..
    Team Pink! First time Momma to be!
  • I actually didn't vote since I feel I would want to vote for both. 

    First, yes you definitely have a right to feel/be angry.  Your MIL acted like a child.  She needs some professional help to learn how to control herself.

    Second, you could have just said (when she asked why SHE didn't know) that your mom was with you at the U/S and the doctor/nurse let it slip.  Also, I feel you acted childish in following her having YOUR tantrum when people were leading her away.  You should have shown more class at that point since your guests were still sitting there and had to witness the whole exchange.  If you wanted to rant and swear at her it would have been better to do it at another time away from the party.

    Hopefully she gets some help...she definitely needs it.

  • image rhubarb123:

    I actually didn't vote since I feel I would want to vote for both. 

    First, yes you definitely have a right to feel/be angry.  Your MIL acted like a child.  She needs some professional help to learn how to control herself.

    Second, you could have just said (when she asked why SHE didn't know) that your mom was with you at the U/S and the doctor/nurse let it slip.  Also, I feel you acted childish in following her having YOUR tantrum when people were leading her away.  You should have shown more class at that point since your guests were still sitting there and had to witness the whole exchange.  If you wanted to rant and swear at her it would have been better to do it at another time away from the party.

    Hopefully she gets some help...she definitely needs it.

    I disagree...if she would of let it go then the MIL would keep on with her childish ways. I think speaking up for herself showed the MIL that she can't get away with crap like that. If it were me I probably would have slapped her, no one has a right to treat someone else that way. The MIL deserved what she got and probably deserved more. Kudos for the OP controlling herself.
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  • image rhubarb123:

    I actually didn't vote since I feel I would want to vote for both. 

    First, yes you definitely have a right to feel/be angry.  Your MIL acted like a child.  She needs some professional help to learn how to control herself.

    Second, you could have just said (when she asked why SHE didn't know) that your mom was with you at the U/S and the doctor/nurse let it slip.  Also, I feel you acted childish in following her having YOUR tantrum when people were leading her away.  You should have shown more class at that point since your guests were still sitting there and had to witness the whole exchange.  If you wanted to rant and swear at her it would have been better to do it at another time away from the party.

    Hopefully she gets some help...she definitely needs it.

    ITA.  She was completely over the line (so far from the line, it's a dot to her--Friends, anyone?) and needs to know that this type of behavior is completely inappropriate.  However, a public (? Wasn't quite sure from OP if other guests saw) was also inappropriate and brings you down to her level.  Addressing the behavior when everyone is calm would probably be more effective.

     I also don't think cursing someone out is ever going to solve anything.  

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  • No one heard us because my lovely mother started talking and announced the news for us and there were lots of cheers. I personally think I should have taken her down, but I honestly wanted to just talk when I followed. I was hurt that this was the time she chose to be... stupid. She tried to slap me, and that's why I yelled at her because I was sick of being mistreated like that. I threatened to divorce him over her, and she shouldn't but she does strain my marriage.
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  • image jeffsjayme:

    Jusy go home to Norway and all will be fine again.

    http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/66060138/ShowThread.aspx#66060138

    I'm really not sure where the fact that someone is from Norway would come into play here...?

    How your MIL acted sounds horrific. And I thought mine was bad; mine seems to feel roughly the same way about me, but she is at least mature about it. If yours had kept it to quiet words between the two of you, I'd understand you standing up for yourself but calmly explaining the situation... once items go flying (AND HIT YOU), all bets are off--she needed to be put in her place, and fast. That's absolutely uncalled for.

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  • image punkrockabye:
    image jeffsjayme:

    Jusy go home to Norway and all will be fine again.

    http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/66060138/ShowThread.aspx#66060138

    I'm really not sure where the fact that someone is from Norway would come into play here...?

    How your MIL acted sounds horrific. And I thought mine was bad; mine seems to feel roughly the same way about me, but she is at least mature about it. If yours had kept it to quiet words between the two of you, I'd understand you standing up for yourself but calmly explaining the situation... once items go flying (AND HIT YOU), all bets are off--she needed to be put in her place, and fast. That's absolutely uncalled for.

    She's faking this story.  She's MUD.

  • Wtf! If my mil threw anything at me I absolutely would go off on her. Who cares if she's mad. 
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  • Go away troll.  You are supposedly from Norway, but were in the US for a shower (which your mom and MIL also flew over for?? If you're from Norway, why would you be having a SHOWER over here?! sketchy as hell). PLUS, you claim to be due June 2...homegirl, thats 2 weeks away, no way in HELL you were allowed (by doctor or airline) to travel overseas this late in your pregnancy.  Sorry, time for you to delete you account and get a real life.
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  • image cwm11985:
    Go away troll.  You are supposedly from Norway, but were in the US for a shower (which your mom and MIL also flew over for?? If you're from Norway, why would you be having a SHOWER over here?! sketchy as hell). PLUS, you claim to be due June 2...homegirl, thats 2 weeks away, no way in HELL you were allowed (by doctor or airline) to travel overseas this late in your pregnancy.  Sorry, time for you to delete you account and get a real life.

    My guess is a 40 something, fat, bald guy living in his mother's basement.  Damn creepers.

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  • Who does a gender reveal party for $1200, at 37 weeks?  If any of this is true, I think that OP is a high-drama person.
  • image dontcryformeoslo:
    My MIL has a bad temper and an even worse attitude towards me. She's hated me since the day I brought peanuts to a family celebration, not knowing someone was allergic. A third cousin, actually. So at the gender reaveal shower, on the 19th, my mom was telling me all this cool stuff we could put in the room of DD. Me and DH got up to announce gender when MIL gasps, screams and accusingly yells at me, Why did she know? And I didn't? Well, Mom had come with me to all of my ultrasounds, and she had been there when the doc said it was a girl. Even though my mom constantly needled me for having a baby so early, she was there. My MIL proceeded to rant, throw three plates on the floor and her cup of wine at me, and curse me out while trying to destroy things all around the room. My DH finally grabbed her and dragged her out of the room, and I was so angry I followed. I proceeded to tell her that she had never been nice, never once asked to go to an u/s, not even ask about my pregnancy except to tell me I got fat. She said she hated me and was leaving. Me, in my ruined dress told her that was fine. She could (explitive) get the (explitive) out. She hasn't called to apologize, or even paid the hotel we had our shower at... Some people...

     

    I'd also like to point out that NO hotel will let you rent a space without a credit card on hold...sorry Norway, your story is lame.  I'm glad your hypothetical MIL lost it on you.

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  • Yeah, I'm on the MUD train too.  you, your DH, your mom AND your MIL all flew over for a shower?  The $$$ that was spent on that could probably buy you everything you need for your baby.  Then to send it ALL back to Norway?

    Please. 

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  • srs5624srs5624
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    First, hi Troll. How's the weather in Norway?

     

    Second,

    image dontcryformeoslo:
    ...So at the gender reaveal shower...

    whut?

  • Holy crap! That is awful! NO ONE has ANY right to throw things at someone, let alone their pregnant DIL. No, you had every right to say what you did. Plus ITS YOUR BABY. You can pick and chose whoever you want to tell the sex. WOW
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  • PokedotPokedot
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    That is terrible! I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that! I hope she will call and apologize. If not its her loss!

     

     

  • She sounds like a very classy lady... Lucky you. :-/
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  • CranangCranang
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    Total MUD ladies.  In addition to the flaws in her story already pointed out, she posted on her BMB that she had seen What to Expect When You're Expecting.  Funny thing is, the release date isn't until July 6 in Norway.  Hmmmm....
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  • ::prays silently and thanks God that my ILs are not like this::

     Holy shnit!!!! I can't believe she did that - what a psychopath. I wouldn't let her anywhere near me or my baby unless she committed to some serious counseling. A grown woman acting that way? NO WAY!!!!

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  • image jessican08:

    ::prays silently and thanks God that my ILs are not like this::

     Holy shnit!!!! I can't believe she did that - what a psychopath. I wouldn't let her anywhere near me or my baby unless she committed to some serious counseling. A grown woman acting that way? NO WAY!!!!

     

    Do you people ever read others posts before responding? Responses feeling bad for the troll are just affirming to her that she's getting away with her troll-ism.  She's a FAKE y'all, stop feeling bad for her.

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  • No, you don't have the right to be angry due to events that occurred at a fake shower with fake guests.
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  • image SuperDeDuper:
    image SmileyGirl18:

    image Aleja0918:
    No, you don't have the right to be angry due to events that occurred at a fake shower with fake guests.

    Yes

    I disagree. I think fake fights at fake showers are the worst and I know I'd be way mad! 

    OP, I'm so sorry that you can't even have a nice shower when it happens in your mind.  ::sadface::   Maybe your next fantasy will go better.  Brush the Cheeto crumbs from your face, change into some clean undies, and embrace the future!

    ::sighs::

    Ahhhh, I love you guys. 

  • CranangCranang
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    Yeah, I told "her" to log out and try again.
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  • Who throws things at a pregnant lady????? I thought my MIL was crazy.. at least she's more subtle than that. Sheesh.
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  • kacellekacelle
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    image jparrish1:

    Wow CRAZY! As with you my mom has also been at every appt. it's different when it's YOUR own mother! How does your DH feel about it? I'm soo soo sorry you had to go through that:( 

    Whoa.  I totally disagree.  I think it's really disrespectful to clue in your mom or to invite her to all the ultrasounds and to leave out your MIL.  DH was just as excited as I was when I was pregnant, and his mother's feelings would have been really hurt if I'd acted like my mom was more grandmother than she was.

    Having said that, I can see why OP wouldn't want her MIL very involved with the pregnancy or the baby.  She sounds like a nightmare.

    Not even going to touch on the tackiness/borefest that is the gender reveal "shower."

    ETA: I responded to this as if it were serious...I recognize her now from all her muddy posts.  Lame.

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  • Yawn...Your posts are getting so boring. Not to mention annoying.


  • Wow....This isn't even believable. Entertaining but not real.

    I will NEVER understand why people make up fake stories on a site like this. Very sad. Please find another site to make up things on. The ladies here at the bump prefer to associate with REAL people. 

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  • eav2ceav2c
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    image ashleyann331:

    Wow....This isn't even believable. Entertaining but not real.

    I will NEVER understand why people make up fake stories on a site like this. Very sad. Please find another site to make up things on. The ladies here at the bump prefer to associate with REAL people. 

     

    Your right... It's not believable because OP is a troll.

     

    MUD annoys me in general but I do get a kick out of the gullible women who play into this sh!t like they are watching Maury.  

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  • Netty_3Netty_3
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    Holy crap! This can't even be a legitimate question...it's so obvious. 
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  • Honestly, I think this women should be brought up on charges for assault.  If she hit you with wine, that's enough for assault (battery) charges.  She should at least be charged with disorderly conduct.  I'm very stubborn, so if this were me, my relationship would be over with her.  She crossed a line that no one should ever cross, and she ruined a really special moment for you.  I have no sympathy for her in the least.  She should get a lot more than a verbal assault . . . she should get a few days in jail for assaulting a pregnant woman and then trying to slap her.  And if your husband isn't on board with you, then that's a huge problem, too.  Good luck with this situation, and hopefully your family is there for support.

  • your mother in law in a psychotic *** - I feel SO bad for you, keep that baby away from her!
  • I'm SO SORRY this happened to you.

    My MIL was HORRIBLE at my wedding shower. I invited her sister to my side's shower so MIL wouldn't feel alone. The room was all set up with tables together--decor on the tables--favors, etc. MIL and her sister came, grabbed chairs away from the table and put them in their own corner. They sat whispering and giggling the whole time and refused to join in on the party. I felt so embarassed and my other guests kept apologizing to me.

    To me...things like this can't be forgiven. I know I could easily be flamed for this but acts of horrible selfishness on YOUR DAY hurt. They CAN be prevented and CAN be handled in better ways. If my MIL just plain wouldn't have came to my shower I might respect her more today.

    IMO your MIL sounds nuts. If she had an issue she needed to bring it up in private. If she had sense of someone older than 2 she would have known that. She's only hurting herself by acting like that.

    My MIL has been so horrible to me that she only gets supervised visits with my son. If she can't respect me then I can't trust her.

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  • CranangCranang
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    It's MUD people...read the responses before you post!
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