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Blended Families
karatechrissy
member
"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
I WAS DELUSIONAL!! I GIVE THE EFF UP!!
karatechrissy
member
SS, NOT BM, told DH at baseball tonight that they moved in with BM's boyfriend. He still has not introduced himself, and BM did not say one word of anything to H. He heard it from a 6 yr old. WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?!?!????!!!!! Do I really live this life?? I wish I were making this shizz up!!! I absolutely CANNOT believe she didn't learn her lesson after moving in and marrying him after knowing him 3 months. She has yet again, set a new record. She has known this guy 4 weeks her dad said and they have been 'dating' for 3 weeks.
And she braggs about how 'independent' she is. My a$$. She is the most co-dependent person I know. My H is ready to go after that first right of refusal clause, even though we have no money. He is fuming.
I retract my post from this morning!!!! Our BM is a fluffing psycho!!!
Visit my <a href"http://www.etsy.com/shop/ThisIsTheStuffs">Etsy</a> shop!
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I WAS DELUSIONAL!! I GIVE THE EFF UP!!
BM#1 did this since SD was born and is still doing it and SD is 16. Don't hold your breath for it to change. I just hope for your SS (and my SD/SS) he follows in your foot steps in regards to marriage/relationships instead of her moms.
GL! I hope this "relationship" isn't as damaging as her exH.
I did not respond to your other post, but I was thinking the same as Phantom- in my experience, there is no good reason to welcome toxic people any further into our lives than necessary. I am a god-loving, church going person, but I have learned my lesson the hard way too many times with exh.
I am not sure what this means- is it in relation to BM moving in w her BF? I have never heard of a right of first refusal related to co-habitation.
BM works as a... Well not really a stripper... She does dirty dancing in the party pits downtown. So, wears like a sparkly bra top, panties, and fishnets. Dances on a table and pole for 15 min, the deals cards for 30 min. The girls all rotate. She works for a really dirty nasty run down place down town. Her hours are 6pm till 3-4 am. She claims she doesn't work whn SS is w her, but she does work Sundays, and her an my H share Sundays. We get every other one. He doesn't want SS spending the night w a random dude that he has known for 3 weeks. If she isn't w SS at night the first right of refusal would basically say he comes here to sleep bc she won't be there. It's so scary... We don't know this guy, hell SHE doesnt know him. I don't know w you put your child in this situation. Maybe he is an AMAZING guy, but maybe he is a paycho like Ex was. Ugh. No I'm not surprised, Wendi... I just wish she would wake the eff up.
Im also mad at myself for again, thinking I could change things. Thinking the dynamic would magically be better. I just want yet to be a good mom! How hard is it? Isn't your first instinctive priority 'do what is best for my children, even if it's not what I want'? Sorry for the post vomit guys. I'm so mad right now.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Your other post said that she has been diagnosed BPD. If that's the case, you need to stop assuming that she will ever think rationally. Our BM is also BPD and its hard to understand her reactions to things because they are not rational, just selfish (for lack of a better word). Everything has to be about her and her emotions.
I understand where you are coming from, I get really frustrated by our situation as well. But I'm learning to slowly let go of my expectations of her behavior.
You and your DH are doing well to keep chipping away at the CO to protect SS and get him what he needs and protect him. It sucks that the cost to do it is so high. If you are going to get a ROFR clause, may I suggest wording is so that it only applies for "working after 8pm" (or whatever SS's bedtime is). I think that ROFR shouldn't apply if you and DH want to do an occasional date night and get a babysitter and I'd hate to see you guys get backed into a corner with too stringent of a ROFR clause, since it goes both ways.
Wow. Just, wow. I cannot believe a woman would put her child in potentially a horrific situation like this. She hardly knows the guy, SS hardly knows the guy, and dear Lord who knows what this guy's history looks like. I am so sorry your family is dealing with this kind of instability.
While a lot of Judges are at times hesitant to order the "no overnight guests" clause because it becomes too easy for parents to go at each other's throats, I think/hope a Judge would find this current living situation detrimental to SS. You can't ask a Judge to make her change her stupid behavior, but you acn ask a Judge to do what's in the best interests of SS. If you're unable to get a full change of custody, hopefully you can keep chipping away at what time BM has SS and provide SS with the stability he needs.
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This is no surprise. SD would do something like this. People like this do not change. Especially at your BM's age.
Give up.
Try not to focus on her life. Focus instead on creating the most stable and healthy environment for you SS so that he has a safe haven with you. And set firm boundaries and co-parenting guidelines for her to keep her from infesting your life with her craziness.
Ha! THIS. Like I said...this is so like SD to do. And she is BPD as well.
You have to set boundaries and not get sucked into their drama. You will go crazy trying to understand her.