When marrying an idiot isnt a bad thing

mamastich · May 2012

He just signed an agreement agreeing to pay double what the court suggested and half of child care/health care.. for the next 18 years. He lives on the other side of the country and doesnt want to deal with paper work or read it for that matter and signs whatever I ask him to sign.

The judge should sign off on it on Thursday, and while he doesnt have a job its nice to know we didnt get screwed.

Thank God for free legal!

BMenz · May 2012

Uhm so that's great that he agreed to this but if he doesn't have a job, how is he going to afford to pay double + half of daycare and insurance??

mamastich · May 2012

Well hes paid so far but Im not sure where the money is coming from, either way one day she will see it and even if its 20 years from now Ill be happy.

Nineoceans · May 2012

I'm a lurker but most likely in a few years he will go back to court for a re-evaluation and that amount will be drastically slashed. The key to negotiation is not to completely screw the other party otherwise you will wind up back in court much sooner rather than later.

When my dh was 20 he made the same type of deal with his ex not because hes an idiot but because he loved his child and wanted him to have every advantage possible...and here we are 7 years later paying no c/s because the judge saw my dh as attempting to do everything he could and Bm out for every nickel. There's more to the story but I would just be careful if I were you.

ashleyann331 · May 2012

Nineoceans:
I'm a lurker but most likely in a few years he will go back to court for a re-evaluation and that amount will be drastically slashed. The key to negotiation is not to completely screw the other party otherwise you will wind up back in court much sooner rather than later.
When my dh was 20 he made the same type of deal with his ex not because hes an idiot but because he loved his child and wanted him to have every advantage possible...and here we are 7 years later paying no c/s because the judge saw my dh as attempting to do everything he could and Bm out for every nickel. There's more to the story but I would just be careful if I were you.

This. Chances are, he did actually read it but figured for the time being he would just agree with you to get it out of the way for now. He knows he can't pay so it doesn't matter at this point what he agrees to. I doubt most people honestly can't help but read legal papers concerning themselves. Once he gets a job expect to be back in court. Also, just as a word of advice, family court judges DO NOT like one parent seemingly trying to take advantage of the other parent. While I don't think that was your intentions it could easily look that way.

mamastich · May 2012

Im sure there will be things I have to deal with down the line, I worked one of the courts legal aide people so Im optimistic... He has shown no interest in our DD other than sending money... I think that mostly due to the fact he has no concept of a dollar. Hes also feeling guilty and has no clue how the legal system works. Im sure this isnt over but I felt good to win a little something and being pood on for so long.

mamastich · May 2012

I feel like I could of been clearer, hes unemployed and the standard amount for him to pay was 350, he agreed to 650... hes still paying the full amount plus half of childcare and health care. we are very civil and everything in me says that when he cant afford the full amount he will help however we can. Ive set up weekly skype dates with him im and optimistic were doing the right thing. I live in a high COL area and the judge didnt think there was anything weird about our agreement. I hope he gets a good job. Im sure this may be modified down the line but I can barely help my mom with bills and I work full time. My daughter is getting the amount she needs for sure.

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When marrying an idiot isnt a bad thing

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