Hey... My name is Diana and I have been stalking this board for a while. I had a freaking hard day and I realized that I needed some support, so I thought I would post.
I haven't been feeling right for a while now and I have been to a few different doctors. A couple of months ago I was dianosed with PCOS. We have been been really positive about learning about this early on and starting treatment. This past week it really hit me that this might not be the easy fix we were hoping for.
There is this horrible woman that work with. She is rude, inconsiderate, and depends on others to do her job. She is always complaining about how bad her life is because she is 27 yearold single mother living with her mother. How she never has any support and that her life just sucks.
Well today, she announced that she is pregnant.
I know that everything happens for a reason and that GOD loves me. BUT... I'm so upset that this horrible person can have what we so deperately want and we can't. I know it isn't my place to judge but I just want to throw a freaking pity party. I'm tired of being strong because this just isn't fair. How come my body stops ovulating just as my husband and I want to start our family.
Sorry for the complaining and thank you for letting me vent.
Re: my FIRST post
Hi Diana,
Just wanted to send some love and reassurance your way. I know all too well how it feels when the rotten undeserving get pregnant without even trying half the time. And please for those who may read this when i say undeserving i mean those that neglect their current children or abuse them or leave them locked in a hot car or are off at the bar boozing it instead of appreciating the joy they have at home waiting for them. My brother in law who is older has an 18 year old kid who just had a kid in feb.. Now my niece isnt rotten by any means but this was an ooopsie so after a 4 year stretch of every one around me being pregnant some of them even three times while we have been ttc now my niece who's 18 makes me a great aunt. Some days you wanna scream shout and tell everyone to f off . i get it too sista. It will happen for us and we will experience a HAPPY FAMILY when it does. Your rude ungreatful co-worker will not ever find the happiness in her family so the real person who is suffering here will be her. I hope i made ya laugh, or maybe cry or just say mmmhhmm that's right. chin up we will get there.
Thanks. I have told very few people I work with about what we are going thru with PCOS. I won't tell her at all because of all of the rude comments she makes on a regular basis. She has said some really messed up things about my misfourtunes in the past and I would hate to hear her poke at our inability to have children.
I know that she isn't talking about this to upset me but it does hurt. I'm think I'm done with the pity party but I'm still frustrated with our situation.
Thank you!
Thank you. I so understand what your saying. Its not our place to say who is deserving and who isn't... But sometimes I feel like being mean and judgemental and saying that I deserve it move then others. Its not right but I am only human.
Yep I cried.. you got me. I will have a happy family one way or another. I am just beginning on this road. I know this won't be easy but I know the end will be well worth it!
Sorry you're having a rough day at work. IF sucks donkey balls.
And oh yes, welcome to the board!
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************

Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
I know how you feel. Let it all out of your system and then Focus on you and stay positive.
I'm new to here too, welcome to the bump!
Good Luck!